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Rudeness - 11/26/2004 9:11:07 PM

collarmepls

Posts: 15
Joined: 11/9/2004
Status: offline

Greetins all,

i am on here seeking a Domme... i have met some very wonderful Dommes and people as well. i do have a pet peeve however... It seems that for some reason after answering all questions and giving them all the info they request the majority for some reason lack the courtesy to respond.... i wont mention any names as they know who they are and i am sure they feel they have a good reason to supercede courtesy... But can anyone tell me why?

It seems that in todays world being a Domme means being less than courteous.... How about downright rude? Whats up with that?
Why is this lifestyle going in that direction and what is causing this?

i very much value and hold in hi esteem a person of any perauasion who is a good ole fashioned nice person to be around and is courteous and has good character... Who wouldnt please? Is it just me or do Dommes now days feel they are somehow above this?

i frankly am becoming very discouraged when only 1 out of 5 Dommes have the courtesy to write a reply to my emails... Thats pretty expensive and makes going to to the clubs a better investment..

The problem i have is that i am writing less and less, pertty soon it will be 1 liners, and frankly i am getting very discouraged with this online thing as a whole...

i would appreciate any info anyone has to offer on this especially if there is a way to determine who is and isnt likely to respond or anything that may increase my odds of saving some time and weeding out those people before i spend all my time writing....

thank you
slave

Post #: 1

RE: Rudeness - 11/26/2004 9:19:01 PM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: collarmepls

Greetins all,

i am on here seeking a Domme... i have met some very wonderful Dommes and people as well. i do have a pet peeve however... It seems that for some reason after answering all questions and giving them all the info they request the majority for some reason lack the courtesy to respond.... i wont mention any names as they know who they are and i am sure they feel they have a good reason to supercede courtesy... But can anyone tell me why?

It seems that in todays world being a Domme means being less than courteous.... How about downright rude? Whats up with that?
Why is this lifestyle going in that direction and what is causing this?

i very much value and hold in hi esteem a person of any perauasion who is a good ole fashioned nice person to be around and is courteous and has good character... Who wouldnt please? Is it just me or do Dommes now days feel they are somehow above this?

i frankly am becoming very discouraged when only 1 out of 5 Dommes have the courtesy to write a reply to my emails... Thats pretty expensive and makes going to to the clubs a better investment..

The problem i have is that i am writing less and less, pertty soon it will be 1 liners, and frankly i am getting very discouraged with this online thing as a whole...

i would appreciate any info anyone has to offer on this especially if there is a way to determine who is and isnt likely to respond or anything that may increase my odds of saving some time and weeding out those people before i spend all my time writing....

thank you
slave

Welcome to the world of online, where if you contact someone and they read your profile, deciding there isn't a good match, they feel that they are beseiged by letters by male sub hopefuls and have given up writing to each & everyone.

I am not one of those. I do give each letter the courtesy of a reply, even if it is only to say thanks but no thanks.

My recommendation would be to not give up on attending local events, your chances of meeting someone are far greater there. However, you can't catch fish without a hook in the water, so keep trying online as well.

It isn't only Dommes, I find male subs are as guilty of either a rude reply or no reply.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to collarmepls)

Post #: 2

RE: Rudeness - 11/26/2004 9:56:16 PM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

This is a strange comment at least from my point of view.
The number of "Doms" vs the number of "subs" is like 50 to one or worse.
For any "Dom" to not reply from a interested "sub" is a comment that for some reason seems forign to me.
I can understand a "sub" not replying as they get hundreds of e-mails a week or more and the majority of them are from "wannabes" And after a while the frustration may set in so many do not even get replyed at all.
But If ANY "sub" responded to my ad i CAN guarantee a reply within 24 hrs.

Even if you may not be a "match" I would think they would be at least courteous.
That or they are just "wannabes"

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to collarmepls)

Post #: 3

RE: Rudeness - 11/26/2004 10:11:00 PM

GoddessJules

Posts: 549
Status: offline

I'm sure proudsub can pull the eleventy billion threads already started by people who came to the boards to cry about not getting responses to their emails. Let me put this into perspective for you: These Dominas are obligated to write back as much as you are obligated to respond to. . .

"Mr. Visa, thank you for sending me the pre approved credit card application. I'm not in need of another credit card at the moment, but when I do I shall keep you guys in mind. Once again, thank you for thinking of me and my financial well being."

"Dear Mr. Dick Grow, I appreciate you emailing me about your penis enargement pills. As of right now, I feel that my penis size is adequate for my stature and frame. If I ever do come to a point in my life where my penis size is an issue, I shall be glad to utilize your product. Warmest regards."

"Dear Centers for missing children, I appreaciate your weekly mailings alerting me to all the missing children out there. You guys are doing wonderful work and *I* for one think that not enough people thank you. I have not spotted any of these children but when I do. . .you will be the FIRST people that I call!"

Jules

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to collarmepls)

Post #: 4

RE: Rudeness - 11/26/2004 11:58:44 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

~~whaaaaaa whaaaaaa I'm not getting what iiiiiii wannnttt. ~

sumone stick a pacifier or tit in the cry subbies mouth.

FYI sum of Us get off on rudeness, and I can tell you that those whom
are rude will let you well know and not be silent. so its not the rude ones whom Don't answer.

No reply simply means to Me nothing in common or computer troubles.

Why the hell would you want sumone whom has nothing in common with you to respond to you?

I contact slaves every day and simply tell them after reading My profile if I'm not a fit in all ways there is no reason to reply to My email and most will answer with no thanks or not respond or send words befitting a dog and I accept each one equally and don't have a hizzie because sumone didn't respond or did negatively nor think it rude. There just being them.

Course I never did read the miss manners section of the news paper.

(in reply to GoddessJules)

Post #: 5

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 12:01:00 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Example: I opened an email and scanned it quickly at 402PM this afternoon. It deserved a thoughtful reply. I was supposed to be out the door 5 minutes earlier. When I got home a few hours later, I already had another email from this same slave applicant questioning My lack of response.
I get email all the time that are one liners. I just opened one asking Me if I was looking for a slave? Well, My profile does say so! Hello!
I see that you joined earlier this month. If you are already so discouraged that you are sending less and less content in your introduction, then you may not ever find the Domina of your dreams.
I checked your profile. There is absolutely nothing there. For Me, I might respond telling you to try again. Or I might not. Depends on how My day is going.
And do remember there are many subs/slaves on this site, and others, who take several days to respond and then expect Us to remember every detail of their email from last week. Sorry, I get too many. I need a regular filing system of some sort. Am working on that now!
No, I am not rude, and I do My best to maintain something of a reasonable correspondence and/or chat until a determination is made as to whether this is going to work out or not. Mostly NOT. So I do try to make that determination as quickly as possible.
Hang in there, but don't keep sending less and less in your opening letters. If a Domme gets a one liner and sees no profile, you are not going to get an answer 9 times out of 10.
Good luck.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to collarmepls)

Post #: 6

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 12:33:37 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kinkypupper
This is a strange comment at least from my point of view.
The number of "Doms" vs the number of "subs" is like 50 to one or worse.
For any "Dom" to not reply from a interested "sub" is a comment that for some reason seems forign to me.
I can understand a "sub" not replying as they get hundreds of e-mails a week or more and the majority of them are from "wannabes" And after a while the frustration may set in so many do not even get replyed at all.

The man is seeking a Domme not a Dom. For Domme and male subs, the dynamic is reversed. The national average is often quoted at 50 subs per one Domme. Where I am, the ratio is even higher running about 200 subs per Domme. Domme are the ones who get the hundreds of emails and are overwhelmed. The majority of subs writing are wannabes and wankers. The Domme are the ones who get frustrated and quit replying.

quote:

ORIGINAL: collarmepls
i frankly am becoming very discouraged when only 1 out of 5 Dommes have the courtesy to write a reply to my emails... Thats pretty expensive and makes going to to the clubs a better investment..

Considering this is a free service, how is it getting expensive? It may be wearing emotionally, but exactly where is the expense? I realize I live in a weird part of the world and elsewhere going clubbing doesn't cost $200 a night. But I can't imagine going out anywhere in the US for under $20. Somehow, to me, free is a better investment than $20.

quote:

ORIGINAL: collarmepls
i would appreciate any info anyone has to offer on this especially if there is a way to determine who is and isnt likely to respond or anything that may increase my odds of saving some time and weeding out those people before i spend all my time writing....

Are you actually reading their profiles AND journal entries? I had listed on my journal entry for a very long time that I was NOT looking. I still got scads of email because I came on to view the forums, which made my profile show up. My journal also says I do not believe in relocation. Yet I get mail almost daily from people who want to relocate to me. I try to answer all of my mail. I have a lot of free time at the present and it can still be a pain in the butt. I can't imagine someone with a full life already dealing with it. You need to keep in mind that they are probably swamped and busy. Should they drop a sorry, not interested mail? Yeah. Realistically, when the choice of being polite to 30 random strangers or going to bed so you can get up for work the next day crops up.. I'm going to bed.

Now, you have water sports and Infantilism in your interests. Those are not widely enjoyed. Most subs I've met who are into watersports will NOT take no for an answer. They accept it as a no for this minute but pester me again in a few hours and maybe I'll give in just to shut him the hell up. Sorry, I don't play that way. I show them the door. What it means though, after having three subs pull the exact same behaviour, I avoid any man who likes watersports like he has suppurating sores on his penis. In an already small arena your fetishes make it an even smaller playing ground. You're going to have a lot of women you do not fit with. You're a lot better off to get off your tush and get to a munch. I'd give you local munches to attend, but you didn't bother to nail down your area in WI. I'm not going to search the whole state for munches for you. Here are some general WI. links

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WIBDSMPersonals/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WMDAS/

on the adult baby front,
http://forums.delphiforums.com/diapers/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/katspdx/
http://understanding.infantilism.org/

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 7

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 12:44:39 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

You might get more responses if you fill out your profile and maybe include a pic.

quote:

I'm sure proudsub can pull the eleventy billion threads already started by people who came to the boards to cry about not getting responses to their emails.

There are so many i think i will pass this time and just say you are not alone, this is a very common complaint. If you really want more threads on it do a search for "email courtesy" and for "rudeness".

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to collarmepls)

Post #: 8

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 12:47:47 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

aw come on Proud.... I'm sure there are only three or four hundred threads on that subject

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 9

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 12:53:15 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

aw come on Proud.... I'm sure there are only three or four hundred threads on that subject

LOL, if it weren't so late i would post a few, maybe tomorrow.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 10

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 12:55:18 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

ROFLMAO.. I'll be sure to check for them..

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 11

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 7:37:30 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

don't do it proud!!!

let the lazy so and so do it him self hell he is quick to complain about others perceived short comings however doesn't even do the basic profile fill out and expects everyone to have ESP.

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 12

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 7:44:27 AM

GoddessJules

Posts: 549
Status: offline

I think the boards need a new section called "Cry Me a River." That way, people can cry about all the fakes, no replies to emails, money dommes, ornery subs, getting dumped, getting ripped off, ad infinitum.

Jules

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 13

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 8:00:36 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

don't do it proud!!!

OK OK, LOL, how can i do it now, MistressDread has spoken.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 14

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 8:25:14 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

I suppose having another "why don't they reply to me" thread is worth it if for no other reason than to get the responses from GoddessJules and others to crack me up.

quote:

. . . and weeding out those people before i spend all my time writing....

I suggest that you weed out anyone whose profile doesn't say that she just adores guys with blank profiles. That should reduce your frustration significantly. Otherwise, it is ridiculous for you to whine about the time you spend writing letters when your profile is blank.

Maybe the search proudsub decided not to do can also include threads on blank profiles. heh

< Message edited by happypervert -- 11/27/2004 8:26:14 AM >

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to GoddessJules)

Post #: 15

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 11:54:09 AM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

I remember someone started defending blank profiles but would never give a reason for having the profile blank. Yet, he still expected to meet someone. It's all so stupid. Gimme gimme. But, no matter what they say, they expect to give nothing back.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to happypervert)

Post #: 16

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 1:18:40 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

Dear collar,
I'm very sorry about your experiences online; I began with online connections, because I don't go out much since I had a child.
I agree common sense and courtesy are among missing traits nowadays with a huge number of people, but don't get discouraged, and please don't give up; Maybe you need to see the positive experiences section, to uplift your spirits again.
FYI: this is equally common among subs; the lack of backbone and moral character to directly and simply say things is missing in people, and it's easier to get away with online because you're not seeing faces and expressions.
Take care of yourself, Ms M

(in reply to collarmepls)

Post #: 17

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 1:47:12 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Laura

I remember someone started defending blank profiles but would never give a reason for having the profile blank. Yet, he still expected to meet someone. It's all so stupid. Gimme gimme. But, no matter what they say, they expect to give nothing back.

I've been told everything from "I don't know what to say" to "It gives me an air of mystery" as to why they didin't fill out their profile. My standard response to a blank profile is "Thanks for writing, but as your profile is blank, I have to assume we have nothing in common. You might do better if you fill out your profile. Good Hunting." I must admit, my first thought is the profile is blank because they have some fear wifey-pooh will find them. Guess what dweebs.. if wifey-pooh finds you here guess what.. YEAY. You've got a Domme.

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to Laura)

Post #: 18

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 1:51:45 PM

GoddessJules

Posts: 549
Status: offline

quote:

they have some fear wifey-pooh will find them. Guess what dweebs.. if wifey-pooh finds you here guess what.. YEAY. You've got a Domme.

Either that, or she is on here looking for a "masterly" type to dick her down really good. We all need to get our "backs broke" every now and again.

Jules

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to BeachMystress)

Post #: 19

RE: Rudeness - 11/27/2004 1:58:32 PM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

Fascinating, collarmepls, that you are 50 years old and have never been rejected or ignored before. You are in a position where the competition is younger, informed, in great shape, and they know what this is all about. So...when they send that first email they have it all planned out, anticipating the competition. They also know that there is a % chance that they won't get a response because the Object of their attention may not think they are a match, for whatever reason, and She happens to be busy with those who are. OR...you are simply confusing "rude" with "Being in total control, honey". Some people do.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to collarmepls)

Post #: 20

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