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collarmepls -> RE: Rudeness (11/29/2004 8:36:34 PM)
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i surely would not have posted this thread if i were guilty of the obvious.
So for the sake of those who need more details here they are.
1)i send with every email a general description of my outlook, purpose and also major point(s) of common interest, the reason i am writing and what i hope to obtain etc etc etc etc as well as a vanilla photo
2)i only write those who appear to potentially share substantial common ground with me. With exception to occasionally making a comment about something interesting or intriguing in profiles while surfing where i surely dont expect a comment in return. (and its amazing how many people "do" reply in return!!)
3)i do everything that is requested by the Domme in Her profile, (if She has one) and i follow any special instructions She may have to the letter.
4) i do not use form letters and i never mention anything that could be wrongly interpreted as a "do me" situation or wanker, since i am neither. As a matter of fact, if Her profile is all vanilla i respond in all vanilla.
5) i never write less than a 50 liner in my introduction and often times it goes to several hundred depending on the profile i am responding too, and every email i send is unique from the top and the subject matter is directed toward the specifics in the profile i am writing too.
6) i am "always" respectful and courteous unless someone goes seriously out of their way to provoke me. (and some have gone out of their way in thier response back to me to provoke me), (including some responses on this forum that i noticed, to my surprise).
My personal feelings are:
If "Anyone" posts a profile, which is an advertizement, indicating that they are seeking someone with commensurate interests, they have dictated intent, with that established it goes without saying that it is thier responsibility to also bear and adhere to all associated and customary obligations regarding their advertizement.
Then should someone be courteous and generous and spend their "valuable" time and effort to write to Your profile:
1) and their email is not totally offbase
2) and their email does not violate or negate anything You have "identified" in Your profile
3) and their email is not negatively provocating or rude to You
4) and of course it contains more than asl or waz up
Then i contend:
Contrary to those who advocate they are above being respectful and courteous to others, i definitely feel that everyone who posts a profile has an obligation to maintain and follow through with a courteous response in kind, to a courteous email sent to them, (which translated means, answering those who write to You even if only to say thanks but no thanks).
On the other hand for those who wish to practice or defend being rude in their responses to courteous emails,
or by nonresponse to those who have emailed You courteously,
or by being rude for any other circumstances outside of a specific scene or direct provocation,
and also for those who champion being rude as way of life,
i am sure a simple request for them to please state in their profile that they are a rude, disrespectful and an uncaring person will go totally unheeded as the fact of the matter is that they can force that onto those of us who are courteous anytime they wish with impunity, (at least once), and of course feel totally justified in doing so.
With this in mind i think it is most likely also unreasonable to make a request of the people posting profiles to identify that they are rude and disrespectful so i can avoid wasting my time writing to them, as well as several other posters who feel its not important to identify little things like they: They have a significant other, or 5 other unprotected slaves, are dying of some disease, are suffering from a debilitating mental disorder, or that as their sub it will be the last time i would ever have sex, or that they are really a sadist, and even worse just wanted a free plane ticket to get laid! and the list goes on and on and on!
Of course when things can no longer be hidden and one of U/us is standing at the airport and the car drives up to the terminal then all the truth slowly starts seeping out! Oh i didnt think You would mind, notice, care. ~sigh~
Maybe i will get lucky next time and it will only cost me a measly 30 bucks for dinner and a 3rd round of cheap chablis to discover that the Domme of my dreams did not exactly represent Herself to me with full disclosure, instead of a $545.00 plane ticket plus expenses for a week as well as lost time from work. Ya think? Which is probably another thread for another time and a different day ;)
my time is worth money folks... and even if it wasnt i do not want it or my money wasted by some stranger who will only abuse me by being rude as a reward for my respect and courtesy toward them.
i have absolutely "no" issue with writing and getting a "no thanks" but i take big issue with writing a courteous response and being ignored... why? because it is unclassy, uncompassionate, disrespectful and "RUDE". (and i have feelings)
i also feel that if You put an add in here then You are obligated to follow through, even if You are not interested, as long as the responses to Your add are reasonably within Your "identified" parameters and are courteous. i feel it is irresponsible, unbecoming, and shows a total lack of respect for the people that respond to Your profile using "their" valuable time only to have You not respond with something in kind, and i certainly would not allow myself to "ever" serve or be controlled by anyone that champions poor character, as i am quite free of baggage and i very much need a partner who will respect that and allow me to keep it that way rather than sinking the ship before it even leaves port.
i would tend to find myself somewhat aligned with the concept that this may be indicative of society as a whole now days. Possibly more so in D/s and i am sure moreso online as people can hide behind their monitors. Which i feel is unfortunate because is sets a very poor example for those entering and learning about this lifestyle and perpetuates these and other problems we are all stuck with in O/our search for fulfillment. and i agree that many Women, men, Gurls, boys, subs also do the same as it is neither gender or class specific.
The old saying goes: "water always seeks the lowest level"
i would like to express my sincere thanks to "everyone" who has contributed to this thread and especially to those who contributed in a positive, productive and respectful manner. In particular the responses of those who gave me food for thought and very special thanks to those who went generously out of their way to help. Your thoughts and advice are sincerely appreciated.
Its a great life, i wouldnt miss it for the world ;)
Cheers,
slave
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