RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (Full Version)

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DerangedUnit -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 2:39:46 AM)

Yeah I used to be really androgynous and get the same amount of bisexuals guys trying to pick me up now as then... namely... most of them, I find it really hard to find completely straight guys anywhere... thought that was more a sign of the times than me.

Back when I had short hair, only wore guys clothes, and was generally in a bad mood and a smart ass constantly I attracted the emotional intellectual types, the egomaniac types, and military types....

Switching over to girly in the past few years I now attract the really impatient no nonsense type, the I'm macho look at my muscles type, the let me take care of everything for you type, the this looks like an easy mark type....

Both sides had their benefits... I still get to use power tools both ways,instead of digging a ditch in sweat pants by myself simply because I can now I just do it in heels and we all have a laugh about how hard it is to dig a ditch in heels. Who cares who is opening the door as long as you go through it.




Awareness -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 3:17:49 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WithBellsOn

quote:

If you're an androgynous woman, you'll attract androgynous dudes and together you'll have a relationship which is more like a friendship. The greater the gender difference between two people, the greater the passion. If you want a masculine man, you MUST be a feminine woman. Period. This is not negotiable. If you meet a masculine guy who's into women with boyish haircuts, then congratulations - you've found yourself a bisexual dude.


[8|]

...and what, in your not-so-humble opinion, precludes a bisexual dude from being masculine and/or passionate?
That's not what I said. I have no intention of arguing with your failure to comprehend seasoned by your desire to take offense.





PeonForHer -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 5:10:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness


quote:

ORIGINAL: WithBellsOn

quote:

If you're an androgynous woman, you'll attract androgynous dudes and together you'll have a relationship which is more like a friendship. The greater the gender difference between two people, the greater the passion. If you want a masculine man, you MUST be a feminine woman. Period. This is not negotiable. If you meet a masculine guy who's into women with boyish haircuts, then congratulations - you've found yourself a bisexual dude.


[8|]

...and what, in your not-so-humble opinion, precludes a bisexual dude from being masculine and/or passionate?
That's not what I said. I have no intention of arguing with your failure to comprehend seasoned by your desire to take offense.





... But there are varying ideas of what different men will think of as "feminine". Of course.




NookieNotes -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 6:30:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

And I have known many men over the years, many of them have been submissive. 9 times out of 10 it's lack of effort/excuses.


And I have interacted with many "problematic" submissive men, and found them to be quite obliging, when given consistent rules to follow. Like unruly dogs, some submissives can get wild when they feel no one is in control, then they get labeled as "not submissive."

Shame, really.

Well, like self-identified brats, that type of sub is not for everyone.


Agreed. Then the issue is labeling them as "not submissive," as opposed to just "not right for me."





UnholyBear -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 6:38:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness


Well, it depends what you're talking about. If you're talking about how women can maximise their chances on dating sites, then it goes something like this:

Men want to fuck. If you just want to fuck, then put up your sexiest shot and wait for the corresponding dudes to roll in.

If you're looking for something a little more meaningful then....

... this is where the unadulterated truth comes in.

Men. We are hellishly into looks. In a big way. You've got to have something about you physically which yanks our crank.

The simplest answer to reeling men in is to have a cute face and a hot body. That will get you a large sample to sift through.

Thing is, a woman with a sparkling personality can often win men over in spite of her less than perfect body if she's interacting in person. Trouble is, dating sites don't really let women display that personality in ways meaningful to men. Frankly most men are less sharp at perceiving personality online.

You also have to understand that most men see women in one of three fundamental ways.

The lowest level is the women you'll let blow you, but whom you don't want to fuck because she's probably diseased. Now there's a fair amount of men who don't have this level because they either don't have the option or because they're just not into interacting sexually with women they don't care for.

The next level is the woman you'll fuck. This woman has to be sexy in some way, although it doesn't have to be conventionally sexy. Just something which turns our crank. This can include women we don't want to be seen with in public. If a guy won't be seen with you, then you're on this level.

The top tier is the women we're happy to be seen with publicly. And if we're really into them, we'll introduce them to our mother at some point. This is the creme de la creme of the available woman. Not only is she attractive and charming, she's sane, balanced and has a good attitude. And something about her makes us utterly adore her in some way. These women - and ONLY these women - are relationship material.

To be in the top tier, you have to be attractive enough for us to see ourselves with you. If we think we're more attractive than you, you're NOT going to make it into this tier. You'll be the chick we fuck in secret when we're horny.

So if you're looking for relationship potential on dating sites, you have to be in the top tier for the kind of men you like.

To maximise your potential on dating sites - especially if you're a female sub looking for a Dom - you must be as attractive - and above all - as FEMININE as you possibly can be. Dominant men are looking for feminine women because sexual polarity drives attraction. The more different a woman is to ourselves, the more attractive we find her.

If you're an androgynous woman, you'll attract androgynous dudes and together you'll have a relationship which is more like a friendship. The greater the gender difference between two people, the greater the passion. If you want a masculine man, you MUST be a feminine woman. Period. This is not negotiable. If you meet a masculine guy who's into women with boyish haircuts, then congratulations - you've found yourself a bisexual dude.

What does that mean? It means hair, it means makeup, it means taking excellent care of your body. It means being awesome by being feminine and enjoying it.

Being an attractive feminine woman is exactly the same thing as being a socially dominant, successful man. Men look for femininity and physical attractiveness. Women look for masculinity and career success (or to put it another way - power).

So. Be awesome. Be feminine. Enjoy the softness that is being a woman. The more feminine you are, the more masculine the men you'll attract.

Now if we presume you manage to attract the right kind of guy, we can safely presume you're attracting a whole boatload of the wrong guys. So how do you tell the difference? This is where the primary challenge arises for women. It's not quantity that's the issue, it's quality.

The difference is, the guy who's genuinely interested in more than the contents of your underwear will be intrigued by WHO you are, not just what you look like. The men who just want to fuck you will focus on physical attributes and the possibility of sex. The guy who's genuinely interested in you, will dance with you. Tease you in conversation. Intrigue you. He'll want to see what kind of woman you are.

And IF he approaches you, he'll be low key. He'll comment on something in your profile because he's actually read it and he's curious about the woman behind it. He may make a joke, he may be bemused by something you've said - he'll engage in a way which isn't immediately sexual. Because HE has standards and if you turn out to be ditzy headcase, HE's not going to be interested. He really won't be all that invested in one woman, because he knows he can attract many women. He may even tell you to get your shit together and Skype with him or fuck off.

The guys with options are prepared to walk away. The guys without options are clingy as fuck. Keep that in mind.

Also, as a general rule, keep a watch out for the traits described in this document. It's required reading for anyone who dates online: http://tinyurl.com/ys9s7p

So basically, reel us in with your attractive femininity and keep us there with your stunning personality. The same rule applies to women. Be awesome. Aim to be the most attractive, feminine, witty, sparkling woman you can. Because even if you don't succeed, by aiming high you'll stand out amongst the sea of average.

Oh, and never have pics of your cunt on your profile. There's really no coming back from that.



I think this is the only time I find I am in full agreement!




Kittenluv954 -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 6:47:35 AM)

welp, i guess i dont have to wonder why im single anymore. im not skinny, nor am i ultrafemme. im also one of the 2% that expect a man to be attractive TO ME. i certainly dont want to feel like i need to stay drunk just in case he wants to touch me. guess i'll pack it in and go home now lol, mystery solved.

*not for unholybear but his quote rather*




DerangedUnit -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 6:52:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

And I have known many men over the years, many of them have been submissive. 9 times out of 10 it's lack of effort/excuses.


And I have interacted with many "problematic" submissive men, and found them to be quite obliging, when given consistent rules to follow. Like unruly dogs, some submissives can get wild when they feel no one is in control, then they get labeled as "not submissive."

Shame, really.

Well, like self-identified brats, that type of sub is not for everyone.


Agreed. Then the issue is labeling them as "not submissive," as opposed to just "not right for me."



Some brats aren't submissive, it's a really broad sub genre(Har har)... I being one such trouble maker. If someone tries to "tame" me that's the same as saying "game on" I have a maso boy I play with who is pretty close to the same vibe. For both of us if someone tries to "get serious" it completely kills the mood. Some brats like people to try to tame them, others are all about freedom and fun and despise people trying to get on their case about who they are supposed to be. That's about 50/50 in the brat communities I've been involved in. Flip there are even dominant brats




shiftyw -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 6:56:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

welp, i guess i dont have to wonder why im single anymore. im not skinny, nor am i ultrafemme. im also one of the 2% that expect a man to be attractive TO ME. i certainly dont want to feel like i need to stay drunk just in case he wants to touch me. guess i'll pack it in and go home now lol, mystery solved.

*not for unholybear but his quote rather*


Right?

I guess all those long term relationships I was in were just garbage...huh...
And my guy *must* be bisexual because he is attracted to my tomboy ass.

Personally if that's what it takes to find a "good manly man" I think I'd rather not.
Really I would rather be alone than live up to those crazy standards to impress someone else.

I suppose when my current relationship ends because of what a butch girl I am ill come join you kitten. We can braid each other's hair and read Cosmo- you know- learn together.

You'll just have to be sure to not tell any future prospects about all the slutting around Ive done- lest they think me diaseased!
*goes to buy pearls to clutch and smelling salts to revive me* if I'm going to be ultra femme- I think fainting is a huge part of that so I'll be needing those things..




Kittenluv954 -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 6:59:57 AM)

oooooh braids! and lots of cherry chapstick too! i am SO down with this backup plan. let me know when you need it, i'll be over in the "unwanted chicks" corner!




UnholyBear -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 7:04:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

welp, i guess i dont have to wonder why im single anymore. im not skinny, nor am i ultrafemme. im also one of the 2% that expect a man to be attractive TO ME. i certainly dont want to feel like i need to stay drunk just in case he wants to touch me. guess i'll pack it in and go home now lol, mystery solved.

*not for unholybear but his quote rather*



~sigh~

I see I must clarify once again.

Understand that what Awareness wrote does apply to a large portion of the male population in general. men are visual creatures and yes, we do look at the physical attributes of a woman first before the person and yes this is especially true among gay men cruising for our next conquest.

No where in his post did he state ALL men, simply men which clearly indicates men in general.

~sigh~




DerangedUnit -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 7:14:38 AM)

I was pretty sure he was being facetious... guess I'm striking out on all counts today




UnholyBear -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 7:18:14 AM)

Yanno, you aren't the only one.

My thought is this is one discussion which I simply don't have extra patience to continue participating in as I get the sense it is a losing battle on my part.




Kittenluv954 -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 7:18:35 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

welp, i guess i dont have to wonder why im single anymore. im not skinny, nor am i ultrafemme. im also one of the 2% that expect a man to be attractive TO ME. i certainly dont want to feel like i need to stay drunk just in case he wants to touch me. guess i'll pack it in and go home now lol, mystery solved.

*not for unholybear but his quote rather*



~sigh~

I see I must clarify once again.

Understand that what Awareness wrote does apply to a large portion of the male population in general. men are visual creatures and yes, we do look at the physical attributes of a woman first before the person and yes this is especially true among gay men cruising for our next conquest.

No where in his post did he state ALL men, simply men which clearly indicates men in general.

~sigh~


I'm a single girl, "a large portion of the male population in general" is my dating pool. I understand the difference between ALL, MOST, and MANY. still, the understanding is that most men won't be interested in me because I don't fit the Barbie bill.




NookieNotes -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 7:20:08 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

And I have known many men over the years, many of them have been submissive. 9 times out of 10 it's lack of effort/excuses.


And I have interacted with many "problematic" submissive men, and found them to be quite obliging, when given consistent rules to follow. Like unruly dogs, some submissives can get wild when they feel no one is in control, then they get labeled as "not submissive."

Shame, really.

Well, like self-identified brats, that type of sub is not for everyone.


Agreed. Then the issue is labeling them as "not submissive," as opposed to just "not right for me."



Some brats aren't submissive, it's a really broad sub genre(Har har)... I being one such trouble maker. If someone tries to "tame" me that's the same as saying "game on" I have a maso boy I play with who is pretty close to the same vibe. For both of us if someone tries to "get serious" it completely kills the mood. Some brats like people to try to tame them, others are all about freedom and fun and despise people trying to get on their case about who they are supposed to be. That's about 50/50 in the brat communities I've been involved in. Flip there are even dominant brats


That doesn't really apply to the point I was trying to make.

If you are a brat, and you do not label yourself as submissive, cool.

If you are submissive, and one person handles you badly, then tells all and sundry you are not submissive, that is not cool. Especially when it's just a matter of proper handling.

Like the difference between the owners handling "troublesome" dogs, and Caesar Milan handling them.




UnholyBear -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 7:24:06 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954


quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

welp, i guess i dont have to wonder why im single anymore. im not skinny, nor am i ultrafemme. im also one of the 2% that expect a man to be attractive TO ME. i certainly dont want to feel like i need to stay drunk just in case he wants to touch me. guess i'll pack it in and go home now lol, mystery solved.

*not for unholybear but his quote rather*



~sigh~

I see I must clarify once again.

Understand that what Awareness wrote does apply to a large portion of the male population in general. men are visual creatures and yes, we do look at the physical attributes of a woman first before the person and yes this is especially true among gay men cruising for our next conquest.

No where in his post did he state ALL men, simply men which clearly indicates men in general.

~sigh~


I'm a single girl, "a large portion of the male population in general" is my dating pool. I understand the difference between ALL, MOST, and MANY. still, the understanding is that most men won't be interested in me because I don't fit the Barbie bill.



Welcome to my world!

I am far from being that fit buff athletic model type male. Opportunities for a balding overweight gay guy finding a ltr third is extremely slim.




DerangedUnit -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 7:33:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

And I have known many men over the years, many of them have been submissive. 9 times out of 10 it's lack of effort/excuses.


And I have interacted with many "problematic" submissive men, and found them to be quite obliging, when given consistent rules to follow. Like unruly dogs, some submissives can get wild when they feel no one is in control, then they get labeled as "not submissive."

Shame, really.

Well, like self-identified brats, that type of sub is not for everyone.


Agreed. Then the issue is labeling them as "not submissive," as opposed to just "not right for me."



Some brats aren't submissive, it's a really broad sub genre(Har har)... I being one such trouble maker. If someone tries to "tame" me that's the same as saying "game on" I have a maso boy I play with who is pretty close to the same vibe. For both of us if someone tries to "get serious" it completely kills the mood. Some brats like people to try to tame them, others are all about freedom and fun and despise people trying to get on their case about who they are supposed to be. That's about 50/50 in the brat communities I've been involved in. Flip there are even dominant brats


That doesn't really apply to the point I was trying to make.

If you are a brat, and you do not label yourself as submissive, cool.

If you are submissive, and one person handles you badly, then tells all and sundry you are not submissive, that is not cool. Especially when it's just a matter of proper handling.

Like the difference between the owners handling "troublesome" dogs, and Caesar Milan handling them.


The point I was attempting to get across is that most people automatically lump brats into a sub category. Then get pissed when they are unruly. Doms don't exactly listen when you say you aren't submissive, they just repeat "yes you are" until you get bored and leave. It's the same thing from the other side of the equation. Whatez didn't translate so the explanation probably won't either.




NookieNotes -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 8:30:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

And I have known many men over the years, many of them have been submissive. 9 times out of 10 it's lack of effort/excuses.


And I have interacted with many "problematic" submissive men, and found them to be quite obliging, when given consistent rules to follow. Like unruly dogs, some submissives can get wild when they feel no one is in control, then they get labeled as "not submissive."

Shame, really.

Well, like self-identified brats, that type of sub is not for everyone.


Agreed. Then the issue is labeling them as "not submissive," as opposed to just "not right for me."



Some brats aren't submissive, it's a really broad sub genre(Har har)... I being one such trouble maker. If someone tries to "tame" me that's the same as saying "game on" I have a maso boy I play with who is pretty close to the same vibe. For both of us if someone tries to "get serious" it completely kills the mood. Some brats like people to try to tame them, others are all about freedom and fun and despise people trying to get on their case about who they are supposed to be. That's about 50/50 in the brat communities I've been involved in. Flip there are even dominant brats


That doesn't really apply to the point I was trying to make.

If you are a brat, and you do not label yourself as submissive, cool.

If you are submissive, and one person handles you badly, then tells all and sundry you are not submissive, that is not cool. Especially when it's just a matter of proper handling.

Like the difference between the owners handling "troublesome" dogs, and Caesar Milan handling them.


The point I was attempting to get across is that most people automatically lump brats into a sub category. Then get pissed when they are unruly. Doms don't exactly listen when you say you aren't submissive, they just repeat "yes you are" until you get bored and leave. It's the same thing from the other side of the equation. Whatez didn't translate so the explanation probably won't either.


Yes, it does.

I don't lump brats into any category. If you're a brat, you're not for me, submissive or not, but I love watching your antics with those who enjoy your particular flavor.

*smiles*




GoddessManko -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 8:33:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

... But there are varying ideas of what different men will think of as "feminine". Of course.


Agreed, an easily intimidated or insecure man and myself would be ill matched.


quote:

ORIGINAL: NookieNotes

Agreed. Then the issue is labeling them as "not submissive," as opposed to just "not right for me."




Totally different though. They are convinced we would work. I'm convinced they need to move from under my skirt and find someone else and are sticking themselves in a rut.
Also a little bit of sweet talk, pretension and head nodding is all it will really take but I'm not that girl. Many women are, I'm not.
Brats sometimes are simply compelling action or pander. It is fine if your dynamic is playful but I like things to get a little messy and I dislike coercion of any kind.




GoddessManko -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 8:38:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kittenluv954

welp, i guess i dont have to wonder why im single anymore. im not skinny, nor am i ultrafemme. im also one of the 2% that expect a man to be attractive TO ME. i certainly dont want to feel like i need to stay drunk just in case he wants to touch me. guess i'll pack it in and go home now lol, mystery solved.

*not for unholybear but his quote rather*



~sigh~

I see I must clarify once again.

Understand that what Awareness wrote does apply to a large portion of the male population in general. men are visual creatures and yes, we do look at the physical attributes of a woman first before the person and yes this is especially true among gay men cruising for our next conquest.

No where in his post did he state ALL men, simply men which clearly indicates men in general.

~sigh~


Kitten is one of the most self assured and secure women I have ever come across in my entire life and that says a lot. Her sense of security is equivalent to a man's, that's the least girly thing about her. She's not always trying to compete with other girls or have a cat fight. Men are dropping the ball there by simply not PAYING ATTENTION.
Not to mention yea she's gorgeous, committed, HILARIOUS and yea, pretty much every man's dream but that goes back to my point on either this thread or another about depth perception, LOL. [:D]
It's fine to have physical attraction but there's also no harm in a date or two BEFORE deciding someone and yourself are ill matched.




Apocalypso -> RE: Women Have So Much More Opportunity (3/26/2015 8:54:22 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear

~sigh~

I see I must clarify once again.

Understand that what Awareness wrote does apply to a large portion of the male population in general. men are visual creatures and yes, we do look at the physical attributes of a woman first before the person and yes this is especially true among gay men cruising for our next conquest.

No where in his post did he state ALL men, simply men which clearly indicates men in general.

~sigh~



Yep. In fact he specifically qualifies it later as "most men", which strongly implies he accepts the existence of exceptions and outliers.

We're talking about how to maximise options. That's a quantitative approach. As such, it necessarily means appealing to tastes of hoi polloi.




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