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igor2003 -> RE: okay....serious..... (3/17/2015 6:32:52 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
1. READ the profile. Don't write if you don't fit what they are looking for.
2. Write with something personal and specific. Mention the profile and something that caught your eye. Best if it's not overly kinky/sexy.
3. If you get a "no" or no message back, simply move on.
3a. If you get a response back, write back in the same way. Longer messages = longer responses. Shorter = short. Ask questions that cause dialog, instead of yes/no.
4. Be ready to meet/phone/skype/move to a messenger when SHE asks for it (because you are approaching), but know your own time table. If your timetable is getting close, mention it, then drop it and realize you are probably not a match if she demurs.
5. If you decide you are not a match, simply say so, and move on.
And to be clear, this is exactly how I treat people when I approach. In one step it's bolied down to:
1. Treat everyone like a real human being.
Simple.
I agree with pretty much everything you wrote. The only possible exception would be #3, and here is why. As has been mentioned many times in these forums, most women get a LOT of responses. Sometimes they get a little carried away with simply delete, delete, delete. There HAVE been times (more than once, and on other dating sites) that I did not get a response from someone that I thought was a very likely match. I had taken the time to write out an in depth, though not necessarily lengthy, responses to their profiles and thought a response from them was very likely. When a response did not come, I wrote a second, shorter note to them asking if they had received my first letter. They HAD received it, and had wanted to respond, but had accidentally deleted my letter and could not respond because, of course, my email address or profile info had been deleted along with the letter.
This is why I call bullshit on the "No reply is a reply" nonsense. I see a lot of the ladies say they don't want to receive rude follow-ups when they tell someone that they don't think they are a match. I understand that, and agree. But when someone takes time to write a lengthy, well thought out, and considerate inquiry to their profile I think they deserve a considerate response for the time and consideration they have put in to write to them. With the CollarSpace format it takes all of about 12 seconds to actually write, "Thanks, but no thanks", hit the "send" button, then click the "block" button. That way the lady shows that she did, indeed, read the letter, and then by clicking the "block" feature they know that they won't be getting any rude retorts.
Then, where you write: "Treat everyone like a real human being", people need to keep in mind that that goes for both the person writing to someone, AND to the person receiving the message! Not responding to the effort someone has put in to write a thoughtful and informative message to them is every bit as rude as it is if someone receives a "Thanks, but no thanks," then goes on a tirade for having been rejected.
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