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ResidentSadist -> RE: What exactly is the 'Lifestyle'? (3/23/2015 2:13:10 AM)
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I believe it was a 60s thing during the swing lifestyle heyday. The history of the term's origination as I saw it was from the swingers who were living the swing "lifestyle". When BDSM first hit the print media, it was a small subsection in the swinger's publications. Many of the publications titles were like Swingers Life, Swing Life <enter your city here> and Swingers Magazine slogan "Swinging is a lifestyle for swinger couples and swinging singles".
By the time I entered the scene in 1971, the leather crowd had adopted the popular print media term "lifestyle" to denote their participation in BDSM. Since then, our subculture has grown to include many other branches of kink under the alt/sex umbrella and now we have the broad term "lifestyle" which refers to BDSM and many other kinks rooted in 60s and 70s pan-sexual expansion of our community. We also have the term "leather lifestyle" referring to the older BDSM traditions and styles with gay roots from the 40s and 50s. Meanwhile, in other alt/sex/kink circles, "lifestyle" still means swinging.
Being "in the lifestyle" is NOT a measurement of your degree of participation. For example, if a swinger only goes to the annual swinger's resort to participate, they are a still a swinger. The same is true with BDSM. You can be a newbee weekend warrior who is bedroom only . . . and you are in the lifestyle because you share the common sexual practices of BDSM and kinksters.
By Webster's definition: Noun - the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group.
I think where people get the measurement perspective is from the "mode of living" aspect. You don't have to have BDSM or kink as your daily mode of living to be in the lifestyle. The term lifestyle doesn't mean you have to be into power exchange, live 24/7 as Master/slave or practice daily BDSM . . . it is your sexual practices that define your mode of living, not the frequency of them. If your style of sexual practices include things under the BDSM umbrella, you are in the "lifestyle". If your style of sexual or relationship practices are rooted in the traditional rank and military flavored themes of the 40s and 50s, you are in the "leather lifestyle".
. . . at least that is my narrow understanding of the terms and their origins from an American perspective. In the past, our forum members from Europe have often pointed out that their military didn't sell off Harley-Davidson motorcycles at a discount to enlisted men who bought leather riding jackets. In turn those leather jacketed motorcyclists who first experienced gay sex while serving in the military, then introduced "leather" and military "discipline" when seeking out the gay BDSM subculture here in the states. These are our "old guard". But the European origins of BDSM, their "lifestyle" and its' terminologies often have quite a difference from ours. I hope you will correct any of my errant domestic observations and invite you to further define it from a worldly perspective.
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