Is it to much to ask? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

osobadmale -> Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 5:22:10 PM)


As a submissive I will respond to an ad and many of these ads ask for a detailed answer. Many will even say, one line responses will be deleted or no canned answers.
It takes lots of time to answer these ads. So you write this detailed narrative about yourself and then you hear nothing back. Is it to much to ask for just a short
polite "Sorry I'm not interested" I'm well aware you get lots of dumb answers but those of us that are real and follow your rules it would be nice to at least here
something back so that we know you at least got the email. Just wanted to know what your thoughts were on this.



shiftyw -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 5:29:27 PM)

Sorry, not interested.

(no, but really- there are already A LOT of threads on this topic already- look around and you'll find them)

ETA: http://www.collarchat.com/m_4743611/tm.htm <--A good example



slvemike4u -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 5:32:37 PM)

Smart Lady [:)]



kdsub -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 5:54:49 PM)

Don’t feel slighted by the responses you have gotten… There is nothing wrong with your question it is just that it is most likely the most often posted complaint on the site. Do a quick search and you will find plenty of answers to your question. After you have been here awhile you yourself would get tired of answering or posting to the same subject over and over… So… welcome and I look forward to your input.

Butch



DesFIP -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 6:22:28 PM)

It is understandable that you would like a response.

It is equally understandable that women would like not to have up to a hundred such emails a day.
And that they have learned through experience that telling someone no thank you doesn't get them a polite acknowledgement of the rejection but instead various degrees of hatred.

No response is a response. You can't change the rest of the world.
What I would suggest is that you stop overinvesting in a possible relationship with someone you haven't even spoken to. If you didn't care more than sending a short email is worth, this wouldn't bother you.

The fact that you insist on putting all your eggs in one basket is not something that appeals to strangers. It makes you appear desperate and desperation is never attractive.



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 7:25:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: osobadmale


As a submissive I will respond to an ad and many of these ads ask for a detailed answer. Many will even say, one line responses will be deleted or no canned answers.
It takes lots of time to answer these ads. So you write this detailed narrative about yourself and then you hear nothing back. Is it to much to ask for just a short
polite "Sorry I'm not interested" I'm well aware you get lots of dumb answers but those of us that are real and follow your rules it would be nice to at least here
something back so that we know you at least got the email. Just wanted to know what your thoughts were on this.


I've found that between 2 and 10 dead Presidents are effective.



shiftyw -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 7:27:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


quote:

ORIGINAL: osobadmale


As a submissive I will respond to an ad and many of these ads ask for a detailed answer. Many will even say, one line responses will be deleted or no canned answers.
It takes lots of time to answer these ads. So you write this detailed narrative about yourself and then you hear nothing back. Is it to much to ask for just a short
polite "Sorry I'm not interested" I'm well aware you get lots of dumb answers but those of us that are real and follow your rules it would be nice to at least here
something back so that we know you at least got the email. Just wanted to know what your thoughts were on this.


I've found that between 2 and 10 dead Presidents are effective.


I think that depends on the president...



LookieNoNookie -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 7:32:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw


quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie


quote:

ORIGINAL: osobadmale


As a submissive I will respond to an ad and many of these ads ask for a detailed answer. Many will even say, one line responses will be deleted or no canned answers.
It takes lots of time to answer these ads. So you write this detailed narrative about yourself and then you hear nothing back. Is it to much to ask for just a short
polite "Sorry I'm not interested" I'm well aware you get lots of dumb answers but those of us that are real and follow your rules it would be nice to at least here
something back so that we know you at least got the email. Just wanted to know what your thoughts were on this.


I've found that between 2 and 10 dead Presidents are effective.


I think that depends on the president...


I always start with Hamilton and move up from there.



GoddessManko -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 8:00:02 PM)

Maybe not message so many women that you feel so spread thin? Just a thought.



Moderator3 -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 8:16:26 PM)

The cmail has a feature and tab you can click on that says sent mail. You can look in your sent mail and see if someone read the cmail. Of course, you do risk knowing if they deleted the mail without being read too.

It's risky, but an interesting feature.



peppermint -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 8:54:45 PM)

Yes, it is too much to ask a stranger who doesn't know you to respond to an email they might not have even wanted or even received. They might never see your mail. Many have mail filters set to reject any mail they get that falls into certain criteria based on gender, age, location, etc.

Rather than write a book about yourself, simplify the notes you send. Four or five sentences should be enough. Instead of making the mail about yourself, mention something you read in their profile so that they know you actually read it. For example, if they write about their garden you might ask if they do vegetables or flowers or both. I mention gardening because the first Dom I met from this site gardened. We started up our friendship based on gardening and after 10 years we still keep in touch and see each other every year.

If not getting replies bothers you overmuch, perhaps you should attend munches where you can wow the others there with your super fantastic personality.



DaddySatyr -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 9:07:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: osobadmale

As a submissive I will respond to an ad and many of these ads ask for a detailed answer. Many will even say, one line responses will be deleted or no canned answers.
It takes lots of time to answer these ads. So you write this detailed narrative about yourself and then you hear nothing back. Is it to much to ask for just a short
polite "Sorry I'm not interested" I'm well aware you get lots of dumb answers but those of us that are real and follow your rules it would be nice to at least here
something back so that we know you at least got the email. Just wanted to know what your thoughts were on this.



Most, here, will tell you: "No response is a response"

I'll tell you: "Rude is as rude does."

It's just one of those things you have to deal with, here.

Good luck,



Michael



JVoV -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 9:23:20 PM)

I've been here over two weeks and nobody's let me beat them yet.



stef -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/28/2015 9:59:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr
Most, here, will tell you: "No response is a response"

Most, here, are right.

quote:

I'll tell you: "Rude is as rude does."

What is rude is holding others to a standard to which they have never agreed.




osobadmale -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/30/2015 6:55:42 AM)

Well first of all I don't put all my eggs in one basket....I have several baskets..I just hate broken eggs..unless that is you'd like to
scramble my eggs.. Second, I'm not overinvesting in anything...nobody is getting my life story...but if you would like it I'll be more than happy
to take some of your dead president's for it. I guess sitting behind an anonymous screen has turned many into smart asses. That may explain why you
get 100 idiotic responses a day to your ads. I suppose there's no such thing as manners any more.



DesFIP -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/30/2015 8:54:27 AM)

Sure there is. However, do you respond to all those offers you get for a credit card, telling them thanks but no thanks? If not, then aren't you being rude?
After all, that's a strange (corporate) person sending you an invite for something they really think you should want.

Which is the same as you sending women invites for something which you believe they should really want (you). They didn't meet you at a munch and give you their number saying they would love to meet you again. You're writing people you don't know with the assumption that they will want to know you.

Beyond that, being polite to strange men is what gets women assaulted. Doing it online gets responses like "your too fat to fuck". That's the nicest response I've ever gotten to a rejection. The worst was a multi page description of how he proposed to slowly kill me, written in a way that made it sound as though he had done this to women in reality.

I don't owe a stranger politeness when the result of that is a personal attack and death threats.



DarkSteven -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/30/2015 9:55:39 AM)

What's your message like? When I message someone, I will try to start up a conversation based on a picture, a post here, or something in their profile. If I feel that that person would be a good addition to the local community, I'll reach out and send them a list of local events.

If your message is "I see you're into CBT. So am I! Maybe we could meet up," or "I'm looking for a Domme. Are you looking for a male sub?", you'll get a lot worse response than "In a forum post, you said that in your experience, XX. I'm surprised because in my experience, YY. Perhaps you were looking at male subs and I was looking at female Dommes?" or "Your tattoo is a hummingbird. Could I ask what hummingbirds mean to you?" If you try the latter kind, you might get a conversation and maybe make a friend.



kdsub -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/30/2015 10:34:32 AM)

I can tell you that posting to a message board asking for input then not responding is not a good way to establish rapport on these boards and the lifestyle... Respect and politeness needs to go both ways.

Butch



DaddySatyr -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/30/2015 2:59:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

I can tell you that posting to a message board asking for input then not responding is not a good way to establish rapport on these boards and the lifestyle... Respect and politeness needs to go both ways.

Butch


But ... but ... but ... no response is a response, Butch. Didn't you get the decree?



Michael



Moderator3 -> RE: Is it to much to ask? (3/30/2015 3:08:11 PM)

After a number of threads such as this, I believe it may be time to start thinking about how to manage this a bit. I see a lot of negativity that isn't beneficial for the forum. Not wanting to limit the free flow of communication etc. would then become a concern.

I'm open for suggestions by way of cmail.



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.078125