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Find Friends? - 3/31/2015 3:52:32 AM

Kirasen

Posts: 59
Joined: 10/2/2013
Status: offline

How to?

Lol I'm a bit... weird. So finding friends is a difficult task, and I word things oddly. Though I don't mean to! It just comes out that way.... But I want to know how to find friends. The friends I've had over the past few years, moved away or is now a terrorist or blackmailed me.... I love my friends and I love hanging out with people.... and I try to help them whenever they need help or fun or a serious mind.... But I'm not good at talking to people like a normal person... I end up sounding like a little kid anime love mania character or like a psychotic murderous brat most of the time....

An example of what I mean about being awkward is actually on here, I wrote a thread about blood loss to learn how much you can lose and such. im a writer and I was having writers block so I wrote an idea for a faked suicide by the main character - but I made the thread sound suspicious after re reading it....

So! My questions are like this: How do you make friends? How do you not sound awkward? and Where are the lines for too much info and not enough?

I really don't know. but thank you for any help you can give me. i'm trying to start my life over, so the info is well needed.

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RE: Find Friends? - 3/31/2015 6:08:31 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
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Kirasen, I've actually done something similar to you, about 6 years back. I decided to learn how to be social. The ONE thing that helped me most is to realize that most people's favorite topic is themselves.

If you can start off a conversation with a genuine compliment or question (about something they have revealed in public), you are part of the way there.

A side benefit is that looking for something they find interesting about themselves makes you an excellent observer of humans.

Also, don't be afraid to make mistakes. You will. And a lot. Own up to them. Clarify.

For me, one thing that helped is to learn that not everyone uses words the same, so when there is a misunderstanding, I start there. Understand that no matter how stupid people may be (and many are) that YOU are responsible for how you come across. When you make a mistake, try it another way. Learn from it. Analyze it. What did you do right, what did you do wrong?

Read. As many books on human nature and psychology as you can. Learn things. Try them in real life. Keep what works for you, discard what doesn't.

I'm still learning (a lot) six years after I began. And most people who know me now would never think it is not natural to me. A few close people do know, and are there for me to turn to when I am not clear about something, but, of course, I had to make those friends, too, and let them in on my "secret."

Be ready to hurt. It will. You will. You'll make mistakes, and you'll lose friends. And it will hurt. Understand you get to hurt, because you are learning. Growing pains. Embrace it. Love the hurt. It means someone has truly touched you. Channel it into positive things. Next time, you'll make even better friends.

This is a bit long, and I'm rambling. *smiles*

If you have a specific question, feel free to ask.

_____________________________

Nookie
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I Write! A few of my books on Amazon: http://amazon.com/author/msnnotes

(in reply to Kirasen)

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RE: Find Friends? - 3/31/2015 10:11:52 AM

LittleGirlHeart

Posts: 1427
Joined: 4/4/2013
Status: offline

I make tons of friends online. Face to face is a different story. I too, am awkward.

_____________________________

We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing

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