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Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/5/2015 8:50:27 PM

TravisCS

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Hi!

IN about 3 months i will be meeting a woman who will be my slave for a period of about 24 hours.

She will give up all of her basic human rights except for those we agree to up front.

Does anyone have experience with this and are there some basic rules or guidelines that others have used with their slaves? Would love to hear from you.\

TravisCS

Post #: 1

RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/6/2015 12:57:05 AM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
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I'd keep in mind if I were you, that a person can't really give up human rights. They're enshrined in international law. Even if someone were to fill out a contract to that effect and sign in blood, your actions may still be viewed as criminal if push comes to shove. Having said that, regardless of which head your thinking with, if there's no permanent damage done by the end of the encounter, most issues should come out in the wash.

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 4/6/2015 1:02:30 AM >

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/6/2015 2:09:46 AM

sweetieDA

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Do you and / or her have any experience of slavery? Do you know what her limits are and her style of play? Have you ever met her before?

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/7/2015 12:29:14 AM

HoneyBears

Posts: 337
Joined: 11/5/2013
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TravisCS

IN about 3 months i will be meeting a woman who will be my slave for a period of about 24 hours.

If you are doing trial slavery along with trial Mastery and neither of you are serious about collaring or being collared, then you my man will be serving as a play partner "top" to a play partner "bottom."

Taking a guess, neither of you have been in power exchange dynamic before, because no experienced dom does instant slavery or would take this kind of risk with a new and unfamiliar submissive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TravisCS
She will give up all of her basic human rights except for those we agree to up front.

There is no such thing as giving up your human rights, and there is no such thing as real slavery. Both of you are fantasy role-playing, and you need to remember that at all times.

Nobody ever gives up the right to withdraw consent at any time, at any moment, in the middle of a scene. BDSM without consent is not BDSM.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TravisCS
Does anyone have experience with this and are there some basic rules or guidelines that others have used with their slaves? Would love to hear from you.\

Print out a paper trail of your on-line message exchanges detailing everything that this woman has consented to in advance. Make sure you have both agreed upon using safe words, to cover your own hide if nothing else. Check into your state's laws on assault & battery because in most states, you cannot legally consent to being assaulted or abused.

Throw out any alcohol or drugs you might have in your home, including stashing away prescription meds which might impair a person's judgment. If this woman is under the influence, she may be deemed as not having been capable of giving consent. If anything triggers PTSD in her, if she has a change of heart and accuses you of sexual assault and/or false imprisonment, then you're screwed, dude.

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/7/2015 1:18:46 AM

crazyml

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Joined: 7/3/2007
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Hi there and welcome to the forums!

I'm guessing that this meeting will be is the first time met this person face to face, so my response will be on that basis.

I'm also guessing, since you're asking the question, that you've not done this kind of thing before.

In your situation, the first and most important thing is to agree a safeword. This will be something that she can say that will immediately stop the scene. While more experienced kinksters often regard safewords as unnecessary, I think that for someone with your level of experience they're essential. If a time comes when she wants the scene to stop, she has to be able to stop it. This is as much for your protection as hers.

As for the other rules and guidelines, I'm afraid that I couldn't possibly answer without knowing both you and her quite a lot better, because the rules / guidelines / protocol you set up should be tailored to you.

You have three months, talk to her... the rules will become clear. And if they don't, you might want to consider postponing or cancelling the meeting.

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/7/2015 4:16:52 AM

MariaB

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I consider myself experienced in the dominant department and I have done this on numerous occasions as a favour for a friend (the other dominant). I wouldn't do this with someone who contacted me online or someone I barely knew because there's too high a risk of being set up.

It can be fun providing its planned well and that in your own mind, you don't take it too seriously. I think its much tougher for an inexperienced dominant to venture down this route because it takes an amount of confidence. Lack confidence and you're likely going to get stage fright.

What you have to remember is, this is for both/all of you but because you have months to discuss things, which is great btw, you will probably have a very good idea about what direction this will go in by the time the day comes round. Keep in mind, this is merely a new experience and you all want to go home with a big grin on your faces.

Others here have spoken about safe words and I agree. As experienced as I am, I would always insist on a safe word when scening with someone new. Remember, you call the shots until she stops you calling the shots.

We could get ourselves all involved and concerned about the legalities regarding BDSM but the likelihood is, if we only allow ourselves to tread within the fringes of some antiquated law, we will find ourselves constrained to the point of never having any fun. My discreet world of BDSM doesn't fit within those tight boundaries; if it did then I would be merely doing D/s. I would say, keep it mild, keep it simple and make sure communication is transparent throughout this session.

Its important to have a paper trail for one off play like this.

ED to say, there is no such thing as a legally binding contract. She may like one because it makes it all feel more real but to anyone but you and her its meaningless.

< Message edited by MariaB -- 4/7/2015 4:19:46 AM >

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/7/2015 1:25:09 PM

HoneyBears

Posts: 337
Joined: 11/5/2013
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB

I consider myself experienced in the dominant department and I have done this on numerous occasions as a favour for a friend (the other dominant). I wouldn't do this with someone who contacted me online or someone I barely knew because there's too high a risk of being set up.

^Exactly this.^ Helping to train a sub because you might have expertise or technique that another dominant doesn't, being loaned out another dominant's sub, is a totally different situation than what you've described as a newbie dom.

Assuming your one-day leased "slave" is also inexperienced, unless you tell us otherwise, she cannot be vouched for as to her mental stability, potential health complications, etc., and neither can you. Be smart and take precautions with fluid exchange(s) and bodily fluid contact of any kind. Has she been active within the local BDSM community, or is this just a happenstance on-line connection? Either way, do not presume that BDSM is a shortcut to getting intimate with another person, any strange person you do not have a real-life history with.

quote:

It can be fun providing its planned well and that in your own mind, you don't take it too seriously.
<snip>
Keep in mind, this is merely a new experience and you all want to go home with a big grin on your faces.

New dominants can overdo the the whole domliness act in order to try to impress others that they are a "twue" dominant. Nobody becomes a master overnight, nor a slave either. Take it slow, and do not end up becoming a slave to a role you are trying to play convincingly for performance's sake. Don't let your ego call the shots. Like MariaB mentioned, this is supposed to be fun for the both of you, not turn into an unpleasant ordeal. If you are thinking this is a one-shot deal for you to squeeze everything you (or she) can out of the experience, then you are approaching it all wrong.

quote:

I would say, keep it mild, keep it simple and make sure communication is transparent throughout this session.

Another suggestion would be to make certain that you are seen out publicly as a couple. When she arrives, take her out to a restaurant or sports bar and act natural, like two people meeting for the first time on a date. Act gentlemanly, leave a big tip and your server will remember you if nobody else does.

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/7/2015 2:34:23 PM

DarkSteven

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No offense, Travis, but I have a strange feeling about this.

1. What's in it for you? Sex, sure, but what else? Do you want to spank her? Do you like the idea of her in bondage? What's your anticipated scene?
2. What's in it for her? Is it a possible trial for a relationship, or a one-off?
3. Who's paying? Could this be a scam to drain your wallet?
4. What are the experience levels of both of you?

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/7/2015 9:36:22 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TravisCS

Hi!

IN about 3 months i will be meeting a woman who will be my slave for a period of about 24 hours.

She will give up all of her basic human rights except for those we agree to up front.

Does anyone have experience with this and are there some basic rules or guidelines that others have used with their slaves? Would love to hear from you.\

TravisCS

You've gotten some good advice. I'd add go slow -- get to know each other as people before you think of her as your slave. When you say "she will give up all of her basic human rights" that's a big big red flag. It tells me that you are really inexperienced, so, again, accept that you don't know what you don't know, and go slow.

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Post #: 9

RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/7/2015 9:44:53 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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I don't think you need a 20 page slave contract for a 24 hour date. I'd go with the basic Geneva convention perspective for treatment of prisoners. As others mentioned, you should probably take it slow and not try to fulfill a lifetime's worth of desire in 24 hours. You won't have a lot of time so if you would like a repeat performance, I would certainly try and include some things that your temp-slave has interest in so they will want to come back later for more.

Good luck

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/8/2015 8:48:09 AM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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My feelings about this is that it's a fantasy and the woman may well be a guy. I wouldn't get too invested because I think there's a likely chance you'll be stood up.

Regardless, don't meet in a hotel room. Meet in a coffee shop and see if you even like each other. Because if you don't, if there's a visceral turn off, then just cancel it by saying the needed chemistry isn't there.

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/10/2015 9:32:06 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TravisCS

Hi!

IN about 3 months i will be meeting a woman who will be my slave for a period of about 24 hours.

She will give up all of her basic human rights except for those we agree to up front.

Does anyone have experience with this and are there some basic rules or guidelines that others have used with their slaves? Would love to hear from you.\

TravisCS

You're a maroooooon.

(in reply to TravisCS)

Post #: 12

RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/11/2015 2:06:39 AM

Soyokaze

Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline

The first rule of human slavery is you don't talk about human slavery... >.> <.<

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/11/2015 4:20:02 AM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
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=.=

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/11/2015 5:44:16 AM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

My feelings about this is that it's a fantasy and the woman may well be a guy. I wouldn't get too invested because I think there's a likely chance you'll be stood up.

Regardless, don't meet in a hotel room. Meet in a coffee shop and see if you even like each other. Because if you don't, if there's a visceral turn off, then just cancel it by saying the needed chemistry isn't there.

Des, you need to stop doing this. You're really starting to damage my black market human organ business.

Jus sayin

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/11/2015 5:59:08 AM

vintagedoll

Posts: 27
Joined: 2/21/2015
From: Fritch
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I guess my opinion about this YIKES and not sure their is such as thing as temporary slavery in a 24 hour period? Totally agree with DesFIP comment. At best don't throw personal safety out the window. Reminds of the plot on this serial killer thriller I read the best mouse is the one that eats the peanut butter on the glue trap.

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/11/2015 8:21:52 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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Wow, seems like it takes me years to decide if I even like a person enough to hang out with them. I can't imagine meeting someone for the first time and immediately agreeing to something like a TPE arrangement and for a mere 24 hours? Maybe if it was with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. I could maybe quickly muster up the slave in me for him.

WinD

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/11/2015 10:05:57 PM

catize

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Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Des, you need to stop doing this. You're really starting to damage my black market human organ business.

Jus sayin

You already have my heart ET, you want my kidneys and brain too?

< Message edited by catize -- 4/11/2015 10:06:33 PM >

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/11/2015 10:22:32 PM

housebitch777

Posts: 74
Joined: 3/6/2015
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jail time for somebody written all over it. As a guy you can only lose. you considering this is an act of insanity. and you would be slightly better if it were permanent,
unless you two have spent some serious time covering all the different possible problems that could be serious legal problems for both.

< Message edited by housebitch777 -- 4/11/2015 10:25:51 PM >

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RE: Rules for Temporary Slave ownership? - 4/12/2015 1:50:09 AM

Malkinius

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Joined: 1/9/2004
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Travis....

I have done this before several times. I do it so that I can give someone a chance to see what being a slave could be like for them. Yes, it helps a lot if the dominant has experience and knowledge and no, the first time I tried it, I was pretty new to it so I have a clue what you are going through. In my experience it has usually gone fairly well but I also do a lot of prep work with the person before it happens so we both know what to expect.

The best approach you can have if you are going to do this is to write up a nice long list of all the things you want to do. Then cut out half of them. Wait a day and cut it in half again. Now you have a list you can work with. If the person you are working with has some things they want to do/try, work with their list as well. I have found that in practice, I can work on about half a dozen "big" things in a day and two or three times that little things. A little think might be having her use "Master" every time she speaks to you. A big one might be learning some formal protocol you want her to use and practice.

The biggest thing you two need to do is set the general limits of what each of you will and won't do. You are always better off not doing something than doing it. If it works, she will be back for more. If you plan for that you will do less and it will work better. There is one thing I include that many people don't think of. Patience. Have her practice waiting patiently for you until you are ready for something. The second one is learning her. Spend time with her learning her mind and how it works. Once you have her mind her body will follow. <grins> Consensual enslavement is, really a mental thing. The physical is just a way of getting through to her mind.

The last thing is when you make a mistake, own it, fix it and learn from it. That is WHEN...not IF you make a mistake. Everyone does so plan for it. Besides, done right it gains, not loses trust and trust is vital for what you are doing.

One last thing. Make certain you both enjoy this and learn from it.

Malkinius

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