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Advice for a new girl/couple. - 4/8/2015 5:54:16 AM

marywelbeck

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I'm a 25 Year Old medical student from Shropshire. For as long as I can remember I have had an interest in BDSM and general Kink. I have always hated liking such things and kept my desires secret.

I have a perfect boyfriend, we love the same things, think alike and fit together perfectly. When we started to get serious I decided that I should tell him about my, repressed, kinky side and he revealed that he had the same, repressed, interest in BDSM – albeit he is on the Dominant side to my submissive side.

Neither of us have had any practical experience of BDSM and really want to learn and live it.

Any advice or information would be greatly received.

Thanks
Mary

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RE: Advice for a new girl/couple. - 4/8/2015 7:31:51 AM

NookieNotes

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Search the internet. Find things you enjoy, like photos, blogs, articles, books. Read them. Share them. Discuss them. Start trying things out carefully. Check on a local lifestyle group near you. Meet people. Ask questions, Join FetLife, make local friends. Go to educationals. Communicate above all. Have fun.

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RE: Advice for a new girl/couple. - 4/8/2015 7:53:54 AM

Gauge

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Here is a good book list for you: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm

The key to discovering what you want and where you fit in in BDSM is communication and education.

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RE: Advice for a new girl/couple. - 4/8/2015 4:21:14 PM

petitespot

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You're gonna get a bunch of people telling you to go out and read books, go to munches, blah blah blah. This is a relationship. Not a class.
You already like him and know him. That's half the battle.
Get naked, explore together and have fun.

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RE: Advice for a new girl/couple. - 4/8/2015 4:41:05 PM

Gauge

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quote:

ORIGINAL: petitespot

You're gonna get a bunch of people telling you to go out and read books, go to munches, blah blah blah. This is a relationship. Not a class.
You already like him and know him. That's half the battle.
Get naked, explore together and have fun.

That is fine too. Nothing wrong with munches and books either. In fact, it might enhance their exploration and might prevent potential problems or injuries due to not knowing how to do something.

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I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

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RE: Advice for a new girl/couple. - 4/8/2015 6:37:52 PM

ResidentSadist

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And collectively the advice so far is that you're already half way there. So get naked, explore each other and read some books together.

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RE: Advice for a new girl/couple. - 4/8/2015 11:49:18 PM

sweetieDA

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Stop using your real name and posting location details online lol - that would be my first piece of advice :-)

Secondly, take yourselves off to a munch and start talking to people. If you are a member of fl, they have groups and event listings for Shropshire that will help you connect with people.

Do some reading - SM 101 is a nice book to start with, or watch a film like the Secretary and see if there are any bits that you really want to try out.

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RE: Advice for a new girl/couple. - 4/30/2015 5:00:52 PM

LipstickLeuger

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We're newer also, so our current Friday night hot date consists of dinner and talk of new scenes and negotiation of boundries. I think a lot of it is just exploring each other and making your expectations clear on what you want. If it happens in the confines of your bed, nothing is correct or wrong.

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RE: Advice for a new girl/couple. - 5/6/2015 4:06:15 AM

vivaciousgrace

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Go shopping together... take him to the BBB, stay in a nice hotel, experiment with your new toys...
but most importantly TALK TO EACH OTHER!!!!
Talk about what you want to try, what you fantasize about, what concerns you have, what turns you on... talk about it DURING... say what feels good and what does not work for you, talk about it AFTER... what did you really like, what do you want to take further, what would you like to expand on...

ENJOY :)

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RE: Advice for a new girl/couple. - 5/6/2015 6:40:29 AM

Bhruic

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Some great advice from everyone, and I agree... communication is all important. Take it slow, but not too slow, and explore together openly.

When you do try going to events, try and go with no expectations of anything happening, and take the pressure off. That worked very well for my partner and I when we started out.

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