RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive

RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (Full Version)

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thishereboi -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (4/12/2015 4:32:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP You don't attempt to justify it. You just state that this is a hard limit for you. And if she invites this woman over again, you will call the cops. And what is he going to tell the cops? Arrest my girlfriend for inviting someone over that I don't approve of? I don't think that is against the law. And since he already admitted that she doesn't get high at his house and she doesn't carry it with her, the cops are not going to care that he said "she gets high and sells it" unless he has some kind of evidence to back that claim up. Now he can call them and ask them to get her to remove her from the property but that's about it. quote: Or you call the police now, and it won't be a problem since she'll be in jail. And suppose he calls the cops now. Do you honestly think they are going to run out and arrest someone because a random guy called up and said she was selling drugs? Without any evidence? I don't think so.

thishereboi -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (4/12/2015 4:39:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dcnovice quote: MrJerryW: So your argument is weak and flawed. To me, few arguments are stronger than "Well damn, that bitch might land our sorry asses in jail!"* Ymmv, of course. [:)] *Please pardon the atypical profanity; I've been binge-viewing Wanda Sykes and Margaret Cho. Going to jail would be a deal breaker for me. But I am not sure how just knowing someone who uses and sells can land you in trouble. He already admitted that she doesn't bring it to his house and I can only assume she doesn't act like she is using in front of him or the issue would have come up sooner. Now I suppose if she got busted and the cops were looking into her background, your relationship might come up but that is very doubtful. It would help if the op had just told up what drug he is talking about instead of being so dramatic about it.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (4/12/2015 4:41:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV FR I'm confused as to how you can live with anyone without having at least a basic conversation about drugs first. Amen. It's one of the first things I discuss with potential partners. 1) Monogamy (Not gonna happen) 2) Re-marriage (Probably not gonna happen) 3) Illegal Drugs (Won't be tolerated) etc. Michael

DesFIP -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (4/13/2015 9:55:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi He already admitted that she doesn't bring it to his house and I can only assume she doesn't act like she is using in front of him or the issue would have come up sooner. You think a drug dealer is otherwise honest and trustworthy? Because I'd assume if she has no ethical qualms about doing this that she equally has no ethical qualms about lying to him as to what's in her bag.

thishereboi -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (4/17/2015 5:08:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi He already admitted that she doesn't bring it to his house and I can only assume she doesn't act like she is using in front of him or the issue would have come up sooner. You think a drug dealer is otherwise honest and trustworthy? Because I'd assume if she has no ethical qualms about doing this that she equally has no ethical qualms about lying to him as to what's in her bag. Maybe she would lie, maybe she wouldn't. There is no way of knowing unless we actually meet the girl in question. And it still would not matter unless you are suggesting the cops are going to bust the girl and then go back and arrest anyone who had ever let her in their house in the past because she might have had drugs on her at the time. Now I know quite a few people who use drugs, I doubt I am in any danger of the cops coming up and arresting me because of those associations. so I stand by my statement... I am not sure how just knowing someone who uses and sells can land you in trouble.

dcnovice -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (4/17/2015 7:53:29 AM)
quote: But I am not sure how just knowing someone who uses and sells can land you in trouble. To be honest, I'm not sure either. Still, I'd be wary. I think my worry stems from three things: a tendency toward (over?) caution, concern that someone dealing drugs may not be entirely trustworthy, and the wide net often cast in the name of the "war on drugs." As noted above, ymmv.

BitaTruble -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (4/17/2015 8:12:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrJerryW If I'm such a judging jerk, why don't I go after people who sell cigarettes, liquor, pot, etc? I don't know how to respond to this last statement. How would you? If I don't pick my battles I'll never have time for sex because I'll always be at war.

outlier -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (4/17/2015 9:54:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrJerryW We started playing with a female submissive. She would come to our house and we always had a great time. She is a college student, nice and easy to communicate with. The last time she was here she said she uses an illicit drug, as well as deals in it. It helps pay her college bills. I don't ever want her in my house again and I told her I consider her one of the lowest life forms because the product she is peddling kills people. My partner accused me of unfairly judging her. She doesn't bring this illicit drug into my house. I showed her the webistes of what this drug does to people. It's the second most addicting drug and destroys the body and mind. She said she isn't responsible for other people's choices. If I'm such a judging jerk, why don't I go after people who sell cigarettes, liquor, pot, etc? I don't know how to respond to this last statement. How would you? She has confused "being judgmental" with "using judgment". This is a common bit of sophistry used by undisciplined minds to get their own way. Every thinking being has to use judgment, in fact you do it much more often than you realize. The fact that you are willing to use your judgment to take care of you and yours is a good thing. She obviously cannot be trusted and it would be foolish (demonstrate a lack of judgment) to continue to associate with her. If your partner cannot or will not see that then tell them both good-bye or admit that your partner is now the dominant one in your relationship. The dominant is the one who sets the standards and makes the rules.

vivaciousgrace -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (4/21/2015 12:42:08 PM)
The "lowest lifeform" bit is perhaps a little more detail than was constructive in this situation, even if that is how you genuinely feel. But if your preference is not to play with drug users, that is absolutely fine, many many people share that view and your partner should accept and respect that. I don't play with drug users or even excessive drinkers. I don't think any substance that alters your mind has a place in a healthy sex life and as I enjoy some quite extreme activities I would like my partners to be fully alert, happy, sane, not on a come down, not drunk or hungover... you know... the obvious health and safety stuff associated with a healthy kink life. That is my opinion. Other's don't have to agree with it. They do need to respect it. Simple as. Your partner needs to accept that this is how you feel.

LaceyandSatin -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (4/21/2015 3:12:09 PM)
If lets just say the police are already watching her. And they raid your place and she staches the drugs in your house. Boom your in trouble when they find them. Even if they are watching her all she has to say is you was buying. I don't know how many of our Officers will find drugs in a vehicle and nobody knows who's they are. So who do you think gets arrested? Just saying becareful.

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (4/21/2015 3:15:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: MrJerryW If I'm such a judging jerk, why don't I go after people who sell cigarettes, liquor, pot, etc? I don't know how to respond to this last statement. How would you? If I don't pick my battles I'll never have time for sex because I'll always be at war. Klingon sex is war... food for thought.

BitaTruble -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (4/21/2015 4:14:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant Klingon sex is war... food for thought. What is it with guys and foreplay? Of course it's war when you don't do it right! Read me poetry while I throw furniture at you damn it! Know your role! Besides, as Crazy Eyes says.. 'it's not just about sex. It's love. It's about the connection between two people.. and four of their friends and, of course, the aliens." (I think I got the quote right. Close enough) I memorized Ode to Spot, dude.. don't trek on me!

Cell -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (5/9/2015 2:32:44 AM)
I prefer just making an... entry, with my "captain's log." If you know what I mean. And I ain't talking about poetry.[;)]

k10vvn -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (5/9/2015 12:57:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaceyandSatin If lets just say the police are already watching her. And they raid your place and she staches the drugs in your house. Boom your in trouble when they find them. Even if they are watching her all she has to say is you was buying. I don't know how many of our Officers will find drugs in a vehicle and nobody knows who's they are. So who do you think gets arrested? Just saying becareful. This scenario seems highly unlikely. Usually they would raid someone at their residence. There would have to be a warrent issued for that address to be raided. Highly unlikely that this girl is going to get this couple's house raided. This argument doesn't seem to much about the legality or possible negative affects of being associate with someone who uses drugs. Its more about just associating with people like this.

LipstickLeuger -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (5/9/2015 1:43:13 PM)
It's about limits, in my opinion. Certain things you are able to accept and others you are not. You don't owe anyone an explanation for who you want over to your home, who you choose as a partner, or what your limits are. A simple "I am not comfortable and it's a hard limit for me" should suffice. Personally, I would not be comfortable with it either, because if someone uses then I would be concerned they would be using while we were playing, or come over after using and this places you in a position of someone getting hurt, or a possible accusation being made, or even misunderstanding. I highly doubt that any legal problems would come from it for you. I refuse to play with my Dom if I even have had a glass of wine. She does not drink, but I refuse to put us both in that situation, anyhow. I guess the only question left is why does your partner think this is ok when you are uncomfortable with it? Sounds like you need to have a talk to find out why they are saying it's a go.....

DesFIP -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (5/10/2015 12:08:48 AM)
It doesn't matter if the cops will likely raid his place. If he tells the drug dealer that he's turning her in should she darken his door again, that will get rid of her. And that's what he wants.

k10vvn -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (5/10/2015 8:23:34 PM)
He's asking the question if he's being overly judgmental though. The legal action that could happen is irrwlevant in my opinion. I don't think he needs advice about how to get rid of someone.

DesFIP -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (5/10/2015 9:02:08 PM)
I disagree. He's already said his partner said she's bringing this woman into their home with or without his consent. Being judgmental is intrinsic to being a thinking human being. His partner has made it clear that she doesn't care about his feelings here and that she's going to do what she wants regardless. I think their problems go far beyond being overly judgmental.

Musicmystery -> RE: Judging & Dismissing Female Submissive (5/11/2015 7:26:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrJerryW I understand that there are other issues, but for the sake of "intellectual discourse" or debate, how do I reply to her argument: "I'm not responsible for people's choices. Why don't you go after people who sell cigarettes, liquor, pot, or go after the gambling establishment. They destroy lives. The reason you don't because they are not responsible for the choices other people make." I understand that one could argue that those other items are legal but what you are selling is illegal. So your argument is weak and flawed. So, when pot was illegal, that argument is weak for someone dealing pot. But now pot is legal so that argument is valid. If our laws changed, then her argument would be valid. ?? You're not asking for advice -- you're looking for people to say they agree and that you're right. Not gonna happen. Stephen nailed it. Have a careful look. Your house, your rules, but yeah, tone it down, and pay attention to your relationship. Subs are a dime a dozen. That's not the issue.

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