RE: What is high maintenance?

RE: What is high maintenance? (Full Version)

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feastie -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/15/2006 1:57:24 PM)
There are different types of "high maintenance". There are those folks that constantly need to be reassured, the ones that constantly phone their partner for every little thing. There are those that require lots of expensive stuff to keep them happy. There are those that make you tired just being with them. Just depends on what your view of high maintenance is.

Level -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/15/2006 2:20:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Personally speaking I have a hard time asking my Dom for anything...not really perhaps a good thing in and of itself, but demand,... NEVER. Just isn't me.. if I felt I had to demand I would probably rethink the whole dynamic as being one in which my needs were not met and I could not continue. It is hard for someone like me because I have a hard time voicing when something is making me unhappy because it might displease my Dom... I know from reading my posts here it might be hard to believe that... chuckles. lol julia. The boards here are for everyone to speak, you included. If your dominant has no issues with you speaking your mind, then I would sincerely hope you continue to do so. [:D]

fyrekittyn -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/16/2006 7:53:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hizgeorgiapeach I've been refered to as "high maintainence" more than once for a variety of reasons - challenging, assertive, self confident, intense, flamboyant (I much prefer that term to dramatic - it lacks the negative connotations that most associate with drama) the fact that I DO pamper myself on a fairly regular basis (the better we feel about ourselves, the better other people are likely to feel about us). I've also been considered "high maintainence" due to wanting/expecting the same loyalty out of someone that I give them, due to expecting an acknowledged partner to be there for me emotionally if I need them, and due to expecting open communication to be a fact rather than just a cliche. The rather amusing portion - all the males who have called me "high maintainence" were the ones expecting to have everything provided for them, and considered only their needs and wants to be important in life. This is much like I consider myself. I do consider myself high-maintenance, but not in a financial way. If I choose someone to submit to, I devote myself to them. I expect the same back from them. If someone is my partner, I expect them to be just that, my partner. I expect open, honest, and frequent communication. I can and will totally devote myself to my partner, I just expect the same. I understand that each party has a life, but if you decide to bring someone into your life, you have to make room for said person.

KnightofMists -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/16/2006 8:05:30 PM)
I consider "High Maintenance" as Attention Seekers.. well more to the point... Give me Attention Freely... or be forced to give Attention cause I act up.

CreativeDominant -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 7:33:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania To me there is no way of gettng around what low maintenance means to me... it just has a certain connotation to me is all. A low maintenance car.. car you do not have to spend much time to get what you want out of it.. low maintenance haircut, a hair cut that one just leaves be and it doesn't need to be worked with.. low maintenance relationship.. a relationship one doesn't have to invest much work into. I've already stated my ideas abbout high maintenance; I've already stated my ideas of the value of working at and within a relationship...but I have to ask; what exactly is wrong with the idea of putting all that work into the relationship at the front so that it eventually it becomes a relationship that, while it still requires work, does not require the same amount of work that it did at the beginning? Perhaps I am the one who is being dense here but a haircut that you don't have to constantly play with to get it to look right isn't necessarily a bad thing....a car that is reliable and gives you the most value for the work you do put into it, work that meets the written requirments of what is needed to ensure the car's reliability is a pleasure to have. While I can understand the need for a partner to feel appreciated and feel that what they are doing is of value to their dominant, the need to be validated, the need to feel loved...it seems to me that having to recognize each and every little thing by itself; having to notice and flatter each mode of dress, each different look; having to be aware of each chore done that day speaks more to addressing insecurities on the part of the submissive rather than to addressing the need on the part of the submissive to have her efforts and accomplishments recognized.

Caretakr -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 7:36:20 AM)
quote: having to be aware of each chore done that day speaks more to addressing insecurities on the part of the submissive rather than to addressing the need on the part of the submissive to have her efforts and accomplishments recognized. The insecurity part is why I dislike the high maintanance sorts. I'd rather not be an enabler for nuerosis.

CrappyDom -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 7:51:08 AM)
As someone who has a talent for finding high maintenance woman, here is how I see them (hopefully now in my rear view mirror). A woman who needs things that do not advance the relationship and instead consist of running in place.

heartfeltsub -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 9:25:52 AM)
Just my opinion but, it seems to me the difference between high maintenance and low maintenance is simply the amount of time one needs, not wants, to spend to maintain it, whether it be a car, a haircut, or a relationship with another.

agirl -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 10:23:42 AM)
Hello Lashra, I'd venture that it is just another one of those subjective things. I'm highly likely to be regarded as high maintenance by some, but my Master can do it standing on his head. .......so am I? I haven't an interest in possessions or wealth nor bother greatly with hair or make-up. I am not loud, rude, inconsiderate, spiteful, brash, or forceful but I am still hard work. I'm not easy. But then, my Master isn't easy or run of the mill, either. I am, however, spoiled; in that I am used to pleasing myself and doing my own thing......I DO have to be regularly reminded that that isn't going to be acceptable, at least most of the time. My Master says that I take effort to maintain ....but also says that he'd rather own a race-horse than a riding school pony. I have no desire to be difficult or purposely challenging...I just am. Regards, agirl

Bearlee -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 11:24:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Morpheus07 I absolutely love to maintain my submissive, it is one of the true joys of my life. I love to bathe her, brush her hair, listen to her thoughts and feelings, get her waxings/manicures/pedicures/spa days, take her to dinner and feed her from my plate, spank her bottom when she needs it, make her cum till she cries, etc, etc, etc... Oh yes, maintenance good....yummy High maintenance bad...yucky LOL … I’m finding I like Morpheus07! quote: ORIGINAL: babygirl005 I had a friend who had a Triumph sports car. It was a beautiful car. But what I remember most about it, was his legs sticking out from underneath it as he was fixing yet another problem. The car would run great for a few days, but invariably he was fixing something on it. That is high maintenance. There is always work involved in a relationship, but when it is all work, then what is the point! (bolding is mine) Wow… VERY good analogy! Good job! quote: ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub Just my opinion but, it seems to me the difference between high maintenance and low maintenance is simply the amount of time one needs, not wants, to spend to maintain it, whether it be a car, a haircut, or a relationship with another. (bolding is mine) Exactly! And what feastie said about those folks who need constant reassurance, praise for every little task completed; who constantly phone their partner for every little thing and are not able to make the simplest of decisions alone; or who perhaps require a steady stream of gifts to feel desired. Yes, THOSE kinds of ‘high maintenance’ people do just suck the energy out of everybody they’re around and anybody would get tired of just being with them. I’m with Level on this: quote: ORIGINAL: Level See, to me, low maintenance is someone that has a quiet confidence, knows what is expected of them, and takes care of those things, and sees to it that they are not a pain in the fundament . And such a person allows the time for genuine care and time to be spent with them; enjoying the relationship, spending the time to continue to develop the relationship, helping it continue to grow, rather than constantly ‘fixing’ every little thing. It’s the difference between time well spent and time going over and over the same ol’ things. I would say julia seems a 'low maintance' sub...and that would be a high compliment. MOO; MNSHO…………..YMMV …but, yes, the term is a subjective thing.

juliaoceania -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 12:57:21 PM)
Oh Bearlee.. my Daddy seems to think of me that way too...smiles .. I will take it as a compliment!

ClassAct2006 -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 1:41:29 PM)
It has many meanings. Some people can't seem to live but through their relationships. Their life is their relationship and they have no work, no hobbies, no family so have a kind of complete dependence on their other half. I expect that's hard to deal with if you're that other half. Others use it unfairly because they don't want to devote necessary attention. If I'm in a relationship with someone, even though I am very submissive, I won't continue that unless we're getting on, actually having time to meet and sufficiently into each other to give each other some attention. If that's high maintenance then it's not a critical term. Then being submissive and needing control that in itself brings a different kind of maintenance, orders, instructions, control which is delightful and necessary for dominant men into that and no burden at all but anyone pretending to be into that kind of power exchange/control it's not erotic but a burden. One avoids anyone who doesn't have a huge need to exercise that control.

Curiossdragnlily -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 2:03:03 PM)
i do agree with your definition of high maintenance. with respect, lily, collared and owned slave of Master Curios srn 308-692-331

Estring -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 5:03:55 PM)
It is funny how it seems to be mostly women who are having a problem with the definition of "high maintenance". If we were talking about anything else, cars, televisions, plants, computers, etc., and someone said the item in question was high maintenance, would that be a positive or a negative in your mind? And just because some people use the term when it isn't appropriate, doesn't change the definition.

juliaoceania -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 5:36:59 PM)
I have the desire to refinish an old house, possibly a beach bunglow, one day. It will take a lot of work to maintain and refurbish... it will definitely be high maintenance compared to a new home. I WANT this task to preserve history and authenticity of the community. It is worth it to me because of what I will get out of it.. so again, it depends on what you are talking about and how much you value it..smiles

justheather -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 5:41:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I have the desire to refinish an old house, possibly a beach bunglow, one day. It will take a lot of work to maintain and refurbish... it will definitely be high maintenance compared to a new home. I WANT this task to preserve history and authenticity of the community. It is worth it to me because of what I will get out of it.. so again, it depends on what you are talking about and how much you value it..smiles Exactly, Julia! One man's high-maintenance is another man's vocational (and maybe even kinky) dream.

MrThorns -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 5:48:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra What exactly does a person mean when they call another high maintenance? I've seen and heard people say this many times and I'd like to know exactly what is meant by it? Are they people with boundaries who refuse to "lower" them in order to live a happy and more fulfilled life according to their own standards? Or are they just leeches looking for a freebies? Also why are people who are considered high maintenance to be avoided like the plague? I'm curious as to others opinions of this phrase. To me high maintenance is someone who desires possessions and lots of spending cash. They can be extremely self centered and spoiled. I've seen it in both genders so I do not believe it is gender specific. Thoughts, opinions? ~Lashra Whipping asses since 1981 High maintenence is such a relative term. I guess...to throw out a few things that I see as being high maintenence: -Excessive use of "the pity pot" -Refusal to take responsiblity for one's actions (Okay..maybe this one is more of a pet peeve) -Complete and utter emotional dependancy -Consistant confusion between wants and needs -Consistant need to surround ones self with dramatic events Some people may be very comfortable with these types of behaviors and not see them as being high maintenence....but again, this is all very relative. ~Thorns

KnightofMists -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 6:03:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I have the desire to refinish an old house, possibly a beach bunglow, one day. It will take a lot of work to maintain and refurbish... it will definitely be high maintenance compared to a new home. I WANT this task to preserve history and authenticity of the community. It is worth it to me because of what I will get out of it.. so again, it depends on what you are talking about and how much you value it..smiles Refurbishing a House and Maintaining a House is two different things. One restores value to what it once was.... The other Maintains the value as it is. The other thing to consider is that one can go beyond Refurbishing or Maintaining and do Renovations That Enhance the value to the House beyond what it was or is. As I said in the Low Maintenance thread... I much perfer Power Enhancement Relationships. Refurbishing is great when it works... but sometimes the effort exerted or value expended will never meet the value gained Maintenance is always necessary else the relationship is likely to fall to dysfunction and a refurbishment woud be needed or it will just end. Of course, maintanence is just status quo and most people are about growth and change. So if most of your effort and value is put into Maintenance then you don't have much for the last thing Enhancement! As I said, most people are about growth and change. I seek to Enhance my relationships not keep them the same. I must beable to invest a significant effort and value that will result in growth. Growth that results in greater Happiness.

juliaoceania -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 6:13:44 PM)
If you are looking for a balance sheet for your investment I suppose one could lose one's ass refurbishing a Craftsman home, if you are looking for intrinsic value, that isn't going to happen, especially if you plan on living there for the rest of your life. Investments are more than tallying up assets, they are also about sitting on something and waiting to see if the value grows before you torch it and try to collect your insurance... lol.. Another example is my fitness regime, as I get older it is a high maintenance proposition. I think relationships can be this way too, because people believe they have a good enough foundation to laze off and not work on them anymore.. they put in the effort needed and they want to skate... as you know because of your alandra, it just doesn't work this way.

Caretakr -> RE: What is high maintenance? (7/17/2006 6:17:42 PM)
Or you can choose between the solid brick mansion, or the little shack that seems to be spontaneously combusting every few minutes. I know which I'd prefer.[:D]

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