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trying to find my way - 5/3/2015 9:10:28 PM

TigerKittenBBW

Posts: 6
Joined: 4/23/2015
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Time to change. I'm a lost, broken girl who doesn't know herself very well. I'm a scared runner who doesn't like to follow others and is obstinant and stubborn and sometimes manipulative. I chase cock and kink and revel in it for the moment, but no lasting peace or happiness exists. I had the opportunity to learn from a very wise daddy Dom who was willing to teach me, but I was too stubborn to leave my dark, unlit path to follow him. I've never been a sub before and didn't understand the commitment he needed and how to make that commitment within the confines of my marriage. His rule was simple, bit I interpreted it the way I wanted to and not the way he intended. Now I lost him and My heart is broken and I would do anything for a second chance, but he said I'm not ready and may never be.

So he gave me some advice - to go online and read, find sub's to talk to and learn their minds and hearts and find out if that is who I am, or a part of who I am. Can it make me happy? why do I do what I do (I.e. chase cock and kink) and what does it mean to me? I am currently abstaining - no cock, no pussy, no kink and no orgasming. It is time to let go of those things and think and meditate and find my way. It is a time to reflect and grow - I don't want to be a running, lost, broken girl anymore. I want to find happiness and heal the broken girl -- I truly hope I can do that without my mentor and teacher to help me.

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RE: trying to find my way - 5/4/2015 3:54:42 AM

NookieNotes

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Joined: 11/10/2013
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Welcome, and good luck. Finding yourself is the most rewarding process I can think of.

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RE: trying to find my way - 5/4/2015 5:05:30 AM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
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"Lost Broken Girl"... that would be a good name for a TV series.

Welcome! I look forward to seeing you in the forums.

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RE: trying to find my way - 5/4/2015 6:08:37 AM

Moderator3

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Welcome TigerKittenBBW,

You have posted in a section that requires forum users to respond according to section or forum guidelines. (Found at the top of each section and within Administrative Announcements section.) They may only say nice things in Introductions and answering serious topics or questions could lead them down a pathway to a moderator and gold cmail. All that other forum users can do here is be aware of how you feel or your experiences, but cannot address the things you have shared. I do believe you shared some of this in another thread prior to this, so if that is a thread you started, they can address it there or privately.

Good luck to you and enjoy the site.

M3

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RE: trying to find my way - 5/4/2015 8:41:55 AM

TigerKittenBBW

Posts: 6
Joined: 4/23/2015
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Yes, thank you, it is intended as an introduction only. I have found several other forums that seem to be a gift for for discussing questions, thoughts, ideas about what it is to be a sub and my own personal journey. All of the posts I've read have been very respectful and open-minded and nonjudgmental. This is a very good site for people like me trying to find their way and or those who have found it and live it to the fullest each and every day.

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RE: trying to find my way - 5/10/2015 4:15:08 AM

Granitel

Posts: 8
Joined: 3/28/2015
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The journey of self discovery is a lonely one indeed. Hold on tight and keep your conviction up. Life will test your resolve and I hope you are able to keep it. As far as learning from others goes, take criticism with a grain of salt and remember that everyone has something to offer. Never shut someone out completely and at the same time keep a safe distance as well. Finally remember to forgive yourself for your own mistakes, only then can growth begin.

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RE: trying to find my way - 5/12/2015 9:22:37 PM

MisterDutton

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/25/2015
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Hi- Your honesty, self awareness and note are appreciated. Would love to connect.

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