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dreamlady -> RE: Is it better to create & maintain a single switch or two different profiles? (5/6/2015 9:21:55 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RockaRolla
I don't find anything complicated about switches, any more than I find anything complicated about bisexuals.
(But I may be biased.)
It sounds like you're too worried about making yourself look better to people who aren't potentially interested in what you have to offer. Stop that. They're not your target audience.
Not only that, but for any man on line approaching a woman, you don't ever want to appear as if you are trying to be deceptive. If we sense you're hiding something, that you're married and just looking to fool around, more women than not will immediately become suspicious of you. Giving more justification for us to doubt your sincerity will get you deep-sixed in a heartbeat.
Now, if you (plural) actually are a married cheater or a playa, and/or you actually are playing the field and hedging your bets trying to get A woman, ANY woman interested in you for an NSA rendezvous, then play your little wannabe Dom-switch-sub games to alert us to the shallowness of your intentions. [:D]
quote:
ORIGINAL: RockaRolla
. . . You look like yet another dudebro trying to get his rocks off any way possible.
I recommend keeping one profile, making your switch tendencies known, and going from there.
So you won't get the people who aren't looking for switches. That's because these people aren't interested in switches. Making two profiles hides your switch tendencies and you're being dishonest with your partner from the start. If she's not interested in a switch, she has a right to be, and you should respect that preference.
When I had a Domme profile, it bothered me when men approached me with both profiles, or when a switch who came up on my viewing list suddenly became a sub with his intro message, touting the subbliness of his "x" no. of years experiences. I could often connect the dots, and if I had to inquire about both profiles before someone disclosed this in advance, then that was already a strike against him.
I will admit there was a time when I wouldn't have considered a switch for all the tea in China. This was because at least 40% of them were bisexual and/or poly, and that wasn't what I wanted; the rest were suspect. [8D] Why? They wanted "forced" bi or were primarily interested in getting pegged and being some Dominant woman's bitch (their terminology at first, not mine). In other words, they weren't much different than the male Doms who occasionally contacted me because they wanted to get Topped and had no intention of forming an enduring relationship of any kind -- other than that of BDSM bottom play partner on the side.
Then I made friends with a few switches who weren't like that, and I discovered that there are many different kinds of switches. I also made friends with a few male Doms who weren't sadistic and learned they did not enjoy acting the part of a service Top, but didn't want to get lumped into the male switch category. So while I don't want a male Dom, I came to see that some of them have switch tendencies and aren't seeking a one-sided D/s, or tried it out and found out that this wasn't what they actually wanted. (Then there are those who think that calling themselves a Dom will get them instant nookie and bj's on demand, but that's beside the point.)
I wholeheartedly identify with tj444 in a post she made recently (except I can't recall on which thread, and to paraphrase) that she's Dominant in her intimate relationships but not hard core into BDSM, so she calls herself a switch. I couldn't find what I was looking for as a Domme, and both times I found compatible subs (who weren't hiding shit from me that would make us an unsuitable match) were on vanilla dating sites. Like tj, I don't actually switch my D/s orientation to being submissive or have any desire to be dominated -- hell no. It has taken well over a year of soul-searching for me to finally come to terms with giving myself the latitude to just. be. me. Personally, I haven't completed transitioned away from noting in much older profile(s) that I seek a long-term FLR and only just took out my D/s references on a couple of other dating sites, because I still do want my man to have submissive characteristics.
The problem I've run into with having a switch profile here is that my Interests list can be misconstrued, and having to clear that up causes communications to become overly sexual in content. That's one big drawback which is nearly unavoidable.
Dunno if that helps you any, OP.[sm=dunno.gif]
DreamLady
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