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Am I an odd Dom? - 5/6/2015 1:08:26 PM

PyreOfThePhoenix

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For me I am a Dom at heart. I am also a switch. But my question is this. Do most Dom's have a standard of how they treat all their sub's? I like all kinds. Sub or slave, sex, service, baby girl, little, torture, humiliation, etc.

For me it's finding what they are searching for. Their wants, desires, what gets them going and even their hard/soft. I love to watch them grow over time and develop into the person they want to be as well as the person I know they can be. With my own sick and twisted items thrown in for fun.

Post #: 1

RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/6/2015 1:18:51 PM

NookieNotes

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I don't find that odd.

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RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/6/2015 4:23:02 PM

FelineRanger

Posts: 658
Joined: 9/4/2012
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Isn't developing and encouraging the sub the way you're supposed to do it?

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RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/6/2015 6:23:03 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
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I see nothing odd about this. In fact, it's very common.

My question is, what do you think the norm is, and how do you feel you differ?

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RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/6/2015 7:17:38 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Are you saying you have no desires of your own? That what you want changes completely with every new partner.
That wouldn't work for me. I need to know that my partner isn't that fluid or malleable. That if we're in tune today, we're going to still be compatible next week or year or decade.

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RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/6/2015 7:25:16 PM

SweetlySadistic1

Posts: 74
Joined: 5/25/2014
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

I don't find that odd at all. I know male Doms who are Daddies to some and non-Daddy types to others. Myself I'm a Mommy Domme to my boy but I'd be equally comfortable being a non-Mommy Domme to another submissive of either gender were I to have a second(I'm poly).

SweetlySadistic1

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RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/6/2015 7:42:35 PM

PyreOfThePhoenix

Posts: 3
Joined: 4/26/2015
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Thank you all for your replies. I definitely have my own agenda requirements and if I'm not happy it can not work.

It's nice to sometimes have a gut check.

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Post #: 7

RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/6/2015 8:32:20 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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I believe some D-types a particular stereotype they seek as a relationship partner, while others are more flexible. I never got an statistical impression on whether it is "most" or not. But having flexible tastes is common enough that it certainly isn't "odd".

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RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/8/2015 3:36:26 PM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PyreOfThePhoenix

For me I am a Dom at heart. I am also a switch. But my question is this. Do most Dom's have a standard of how they treat all their sub's? I like all kinds. Sub or slave, sex, service, baby girl, little, torture, humiliation, etc.

For me it's finding what they are searching for. Their wants, desires, what gets them going and even their hard/soft. I love to watch them grow over time and develop into the person they want to be as well as the person I know they can be. With my own sick and twisted items thrown in for fun.

I relate. This seems normal.

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Post #: 9

RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/9/2015 1:54:13 AM

sweetieDA

Posts: 129
Joined: 4/3/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PyreOfThePhoenix
For me it's finding what they are searching for. Their wants, desires, what gets them going...

To me this seems more of a switch or submissive impulse. I find it difficult when a Dom bases our activities around my wants and desires because my wants and desires are to satisfy HIS wants and desires, so we end up going around in circles, both of us trying to please the other, neither really dominating or submitting, and neither fully satisfied. I prefer a Dom who knows his own wants and desires, and then I can adapt to him and learn to please him.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with paying attention to what your sub prefers, but basing the D/s on it is bottoming from the top, imo.

(in reply to PyreOfThePhoenix)

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RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/9/2015 3:15:52 AM

NookieNotes

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Joined: 11/10/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetieDA
Of course, there is nothing wrong with paying attention to what your sub prefers, but basing the D/s on it is bottoming from the top, imo.

As a dominant, I base the ACTIONS on what my sub likes, because I am into most anything that is fun. My D/s is always me, with everyone.

Because I am a primarily mental dominant, playing in my sub's head is my primary kink, and making them happier and healthier to continue to serve me is my focus.

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RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/24/2015 11:40:44 AM

MasterDrakkula

Posts: 29
Joined: 4/6/2015
Status: offline

If your name is Seven, then you are an odd dom.

I am fluid depends on the person I don’t have rigid lists or 10 steps to becoming a better wench for this errant loon.

1. You will fall to your knees and weep salty, but delicious tears , as wench beholds my awe and intriguing man musk; hint o’cat, cheap chardonnay and distant echoes of numerous muffin frenzies
2. I am abomination to mankind *sick and twisted I am not* but an evocative being who devours the most delicious soul and thrashes them into next week with a whisk, taped to a soup ladle, which in turn is welded to an anvil
3. Etc

There are too many bad stereotypes out there it is perfectly normal to not fall into these strange, wonderous, oft scaree caricatures

(in reply to NookieNotes)

Post #: 12

RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/24/2015 3:24:37 PM

DerangedUnit

Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
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I think it's common though it's not something I would consider in a dominant. I require rigidity, someone who knows their personal boundaries and doesn't change based on my whims. Solid ground I can flow around. It's about what I would be capable of respecting in the long term. Someone who will beat me because I won't say stop. Signals around lack of self control, like a pigeon that eats itself to death. Clear and concise moral boundaries and the ability to hold them under duress is a must for me. Self control being a most respected trait.

(in reply to MasterDrakkula)

Post #: 13

RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/24/2015 5:19:26 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I like that type of Dom.

Being flexible and not mired in "true dominants only do x, y or z" is refreshing.

Basing things on what we both like is the only way for me.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 5/24/2015 5:21:02 PM >

(in reply to DerangedUnit)

Post #: 14

RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/24/2015 6:43:51 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I will say that The Man, although wedded to certain activities, in others it's all about eliciting the response he wants. So if X doesn't give him that response but Y does, then he'll happily change activities.

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Post #: 15

RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 5/26/2015 8:20:45 AM

LilithMorrigan

Posts: 11
Joined: 5/19/2015
Status: offline

I think this is fairly common.

I don't feel one lacks rigidity by changing style with the submissive or by adapting your relationship to their needs as well as your own. Just don't flip flop your dynamic with them constantly. ;)

In my personal life, I'm drawn to multiple kinds of D/s dynamics, and which kind of dynamic I want varies by the partner. And that absolutely requires consideration of their needs. I'm not going to force a kind of dynamic on someone that wouldn't thrive in that dynamic - enabling them to explore their desires is important to me within and outside of kink. That said, I'm also not going to pursue a dynamic I don't want to be in regardless of their desires.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 16

RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 6/9/2015 8:18:52 AM

polygynyman

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/12/2014
Status: offline

A sub to me must give all they are. Life limb heart soul body and mind.
The rewards ..... I'll promise nothing but between you and me my subs have no regrets in fact they will suffer losing me if I kick them to the curb...... subs so often come with so many rules and safe words .... Their demands most often are ridiculous..... More often than not the sub is truly the dom and the dom is not dom but submissive playing as if they were what they really wished they could grow up and be. I'm looking for 2 or 3 hot girls 18 to 25 that will commit everything giving up all identity. Devoting their lives to me. Willing to give their all sacrifice anything and everything to me. I am worth it, absolutely, certainly, worth it......
The desire to be lead to follow and be ruled is strong in almost all people, but at the same time the fear of the unknown is one of the greatest fears in people. People want to have the rules written down in advance because of this fear, they want to be ruled but with certain specific unchangeable rules
But there is the RUB you are not following if you wrote the rules. To me a real sub will commit everything without making any demands..... For me my sub is my slave and she must do anything I ask absoloutly any thing...... She can leave any time but if she does she will never come back because she failed me....... And those who have found themselves at the Curb are almost always begging to be accepted back because they are suffering withdrawl ...... The endorphines and emotions I bring out in them the feelings that they never dreamed of are gone ...... With me is loyalty and obedience above all other things. ?. You enter knowing the rules your free to go any time but if you do your not welcome back. ?... You might be accepted as a friend but those feelings I will not give them to you again ever..... You knew the consequences of your actions .....

a woman's place in on her knees serving me

(in reply to LilithMorrigan)

Post #: 17

RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 6/9/2015 2:23:41 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: online

Dude. Paragraphs are our friends.

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Post #: 18

RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 6/9/2015 3:33:27 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: polygynyman

A sub to me must give all they are. Life limb heart soul body and mind.
The rewards ..... I'll promise nothing but between you and me my subs have no regrets in fact they will suffer losing me if I kick them to the curb...... subs so often come with so many rules and safe words .... Their demands most often are ridiculous..... More often than not the sub is truly the dom and the dom is not dom but submissive playing as if they were what they really wished they could grow up and be. I'm looking for 2 or 3 hot girls 18 to 25 that will commit everything giving up all identity. Devoting their lives to me. Willing to give their all sacrifice anything and everything to me. I am worth it, absolutely, certainly, worth it......
The desire to be lead to follow and be ruled is strong in almost all people, but at the same time the fear of the unknown is one of the greatest fears in people. People want to have the rules written down in advance because of this fear, they want to be ruled but with certain specific unchangeable rules
But there is the RUB you are not following if you wrote the rules. To me a real sub will commit everything without making any demands..... For me my sub is my slave and she must do anything I ask absoloutly any thing...... She can leave any time but if she does she will never come back because she failed me....... And those who have found themselves at the Curb are almost always begging to be accepted back because they are suffering withdrawl ...... The endorphines and emotions I bring out in them the feelings that they never dreamed of are gone ...... With me is loyalty and obedience above all other things. ?. You enter knowing the rules your free to go any time but if you do your not welcome back. ?... You might be accepted as a friend but those feelings I will not give them to you again ever..... You knew the consequences of your actions .....

a woman's place in on her knees serving me

Dude, your idea of a "real" sub is just your idea, no one here has to agree with you. A sub is not a slave, so that's the first thing.

Next, of course subs come with rules of their own. Or do you want a mindless blow up doll who has no needs?

You sound like you live in a fantasy world. Seriously, at 50 you should know better.

It was amusing to read, though. Endorphins and emotions? Everyone gets that in their relationships.

(in reply to polygynyman)

Post #: 19

RE: Am I an odd Dom? - 6/9/2015 4:05:39 PM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: polygynyman

A sub to me must give all they are. Life limb heart soul body and mind.
The rewards ..... I'll promise nothing but between you and me my subs have no regrets in fact they will suffer losing me if I kick them to the curb...... subs so often come with so many rules and safe words .... Their demands most often are ridiculous..... More often than not the sub is truly the dom and the dom is not dom but submissive playing as if they were what they really wished they could grow up and be. I'm looking for 2 or 3 hot girls 18 to 25 that will commit everything giving up all identity. Devoting their lives to me. Willing to give their all sacrifice anything and everything to me. I am worth it, absolutely, certainly, worth it......
The desire to be lead to follow and be ruled is strong in almost all people, but at the same time the fear of the unknown is one of the greatest fears in people. People want to have the rules written down in advance because of this fear, they want to be ruled but with certain specific unchangeable rules
But there is the RUB you are not following if you wrote the rules. To me a real sub will commit everything without making any demands..... For me my sub is my slave and she must do anything I ask absoloutly any thing...... She can leave any time but if she does she will never come back because she failed me....... And those who have found themselves at the Curb are almost always begging to be accepted back because they are suffering withdrawl ...... The endorphines and emotions I bring out in them the feelings that they never dreamed of are gone ...... With me is loyalty and obedience above all other things. ?. You enter knowing the rules your free to go any time but if you do your not welcome back. ?... You might be accepted as a friend but those feelings I will not give them to you again ever..... You knew the consequences of your actions .....

a woman's place in on her knees serving me

Dude, your idea of a "real" sub is just your idea, no one here has to agree with you. A sub is not a slave, so that's the first thing.

Next, of course subs come with rules of their own. Or do you want a mindless blow up doll who has no needs?

You sound like you live in a fantasy world. Seriously, at 50 you should know better.

It was amusing to read, though. Endorphins and emotions? Everyone gets that in their relationships.

what the lady said

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