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Testing Testing 1 2 3 - 7/15/2006 5:53:18 PM

KennelDeSade2

Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
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I would like to hear from other folks who have “tests” they use to determine things like the veracity, suitability, and comprehension of those they meet online. Only time proven rules, with a better than 80 percent success rate. Anybody who has posted about their terrible luck in getting anybody to show up ever, having been stood up multiple times, or complained about all the fakes they have met, won't make the final cut.

Real time demands a lot more of me than conversation, so I like to be sure it does to whoever I'm thinking of meeting as well.
I am trying to create a short list of the ways to people who have done well have used in making the transition from online to a real time meet, low drama/high quality.

Everybody has a sad, sad, tale. But please, save it for another thread. We all have tales of wonder. Again, please, not this time. I am going to encourage one line posts that are short and to the point. (like I usually don't write myself) I'll even kick it off with a few examples of the things I use and have used, just to get the ball rolling.

Deal Breakers: If it can't be done or there are problems with it, it's time to stop talking.

If I'm going to drive more than 30-minutes to meet somebody, they can at least confirm with a *67 phone call.
If I am going to fly to meet someone, I will first have the number of a wired phone that they would be able to answer at 3AM their time.
If they are living with a roommate, I want to be able to call and have said roommate willing to take a message.
Every pervert on earth has a picture. Don't show me one with the stereo I owned in 1985 in the background. If you are so worried about exposure that you cannot provide a recent pic, then you have issues far beyond those I feel comfortable becoming involved in.
Don't claim to be something you don't know the definition of. Most ridiculous example I can come up with on short notice, is claiming to be a toilet slave, then going nuclear that “golden” is a hard limit.

edited for clarity

< Message edited by KennelDeSade2 -- 7/15/2006 6:37:40 PM >

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RE: Testing Testing 1 2 3 - 7/15/2006 6:00:49 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Take a step back and listen to what the person is really saying. People will reveal a lot about themselves without them even realising it.

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RE: Testing Testing 1 2 3 - 7/15/2006 6:11:26 PM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
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Your post is way confusing. Here's you, "I'm looking for only those that have proven to work with better than an 80 percent track record, over a period of years." And then heres you again, "the only qualification I have is that they be a good corespondent."

Im not sure then, what you are asking.

If you're asking, how do you discern between people that will and people that wont, the answer is, experience. Have 180 people write to you, and you learn to seperate the wheat from the chaff. Nobody can really give this answer. It must be gotten through one's own experience.

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RE: Testing Testing 1 2 3 - 7/15/2006 6:26:50 PM

KennelDeSade2

Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

Your post is way confusing. Here's you, "I'm looking for only those that have proven to work with better than an 80 percent track record, over a period of years." And then heres you again, "the only qualification I have is that they be a good corespondent."

Im not sure then, what you are asking.

If you're asking, how do you discern between people that will and people that wont, the answer is, experience. Have 180 people write to you, and you learn to seperate the wheat from the chaff. Nobody can really give this answer. It must be gotten through one's own experience.

Nothing I hate more than being unclear. I will go back and edit that.
One of my worst problems is the "Stephen King Syndrome" of wanting to put in far more description than is a good idea.
Thanks.

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RE: Testing Testing 1 2 3 - 7/15/2006 6:34:40 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I never had any test for online. I just trusted my instincts and experience. I knew what I wanted and I only pursued those seemed that fit my expectations. They didn't always pan out, but I only needed one to be successful. And I found her.

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RE: Testing Testing 1 2 3 - 7/15/2006 6:37:13 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

Take a step back and listen to what the person is really saying. People will reveal a lot about themselves without them even realising it.

I would completely agree with this. If someone is worth while they will be consistent.. listen for inconsistencies.

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Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Testing Testing 1 2 3 - 7/15/2006 7:17:19 PM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
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I guess it depends on what you consider a successful track record...if it is getting the person to show up...100% over the last two years. If it is having some semblance of a good time, then 100% over the last two years. If it is forming some type of relationship that continues past the first meeting, then 100%. If it forming some type of relationship that exceeds 6 months from the initial meet up, then 80%. Good enough credentials?

Upon initial online meeting...i have a silent three strike rule. Three off key remarks over the course of emails or im's...i'm done and gone.

Once i am confident feel secure that they aren't even coming close to a strike, i move forward to thinking real meet up. My first determination is if there is something about them that warrants meeting up or are they simply someone I can drop an occasional email to and it would result in the same outcome. Something has to spark my curiosity.....Interesting conversation that i would like to partake in face to face, maybe something they are holding back that a face to face might detect, maybe they make me laugh and a meet up sounds like a fun outing. A few times i have been caught off guard and on impulse, agreed to meet for a drink.

Deal breaker...ultimatums to meet. I'll meet when i feel comfortable and not because someone doesn't think i'm "real" if i don't drop everything and meet them right then and there. I don't care if i am driving half a block...i want a cell phone number that i can get ahold of them with. Pictures aren't that important...i personally take crappy pictures and hate having mine taken...i am more interested in who the person is, not what they look like. It is made very clear prior to meeting, this meet will probably be the most vanilla thing you've done all week. I don't want to hear about what awesome things you did with a sub last week. I want to know what makes the person tick inside. Lastly, this is simply an introduction meeting....period.

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RE: Testing Testing 1 2 3 - 7/15/2006 7:59:25 PM

kisshou

Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
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I think it should move offline very quickly. I would give about a week chatting and emailing online but then expect it to proceed to phone calls and then meeting in person in a public place.

If they have all kinds of weird reasons they can't or won't meet then I consider them to be someone looking for an online only relationship.

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RE: Testing Testing 1 2 3 - 7/15/2006 8:10:39 PM

deltadawn

Posts: 224
Joined: 7/15/2006
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Though I did not meet my Master online, I have the answer..........

PATIENCE.

Learn to take your time, really talk to the person and do not expect things to happen over night.

I am told most find that one person they seek when they are really not seeking at all.

dawn

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RE: Testing Testing 1 2 3 - 7/15/2006 8:17:04 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
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Julia, yup, consistancies. That's a good way to tell about someone.
And being honest and upfront with you from the beginning!
I've talked to some women at length and the minute I suggest a meeting, after a week or two of online chat "something" comes up!
Or "Oh, I don't want to talk on the phone" (A man posing as a woman?)
An honest person will chat for a week or two, then talk by phone for a bit then progress with a live meeting in a public place and yes that meeting will be vanilla.
Game players won't do those things.

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