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All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Moving from online to "face to face"

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[Poll]

Moving from online to "face to face"

It's never happened to me

17% (3)

I was the one who didn't feel the "spark"

47% (8)

The other person was the one who didn't feel the "spark"

0% (0)

Neither one of us felt the "spark"

35% (6)

Total Votes : 17

(last vote on : 4/13/2016 1:13:48 AM)
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Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 2:11:57 PM

smileforme50

Posts: 1623
Joined: 1/24/2013
From: DelaWHERE(?)
Status: offline

In light of a recent experience I had, I've been talking to a lot of people about their experiences when then finally met someone they had been talking to online.

A few people have told me how they had a similar experience to mine....where they got along wonderfully with someone while talking to them on the phone, but when they finally met, it all fell apart. There was no spark or chemistry.

So....has this ever happened to you? Were you the one who didn't feel the spark....or was it the other person...or was it mutual?

_____________________________

“Give it to me!” she yelled
“I’m so fucking wet! Give it to me now!”

She could scream all she wanted…..I was keeping the umbrella.

Post #: 1

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 2:42:38 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

I meet loads of people IRL... I have this charming slutty quality about me that suckers them right into meeting. That said, my expectation is to make a friend, always. I play a slut online, but in RL I am very fucking hard to get, and if you got me, and you lost me, you fucked up because you won't ever have me again... you just become another ding in my inbox on holidays and special occasions.

So, I am a deplorable flirt, always open to meet new people. I am relationship orientated, I spell that out a lot, and the odds of you getting any further than the friend zone is going to depend on the chemistry. Rather than being disappointed in a RL meeting, I am always eager to "keep" the friend that I made online, and keep them in the friend zone if the chemistry isn't there. Does that create awkward moments when they do not want to be in the friend zone... sure it does, but Oh fucking well, you knew what this was before we met.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 2

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 2:45:12 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I only met one and we're still together a dozen plus years later.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 3

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 2:56:16 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I only met one and we're still together a dozen plus years later.

I'm wearing you down though, I know I am :)

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 4

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 4:48:02 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

Sure. I met one guy in person that was a long time online friend and he was like a huge black hole chemistry wise.
I was surprised, we had such fun online but in person there wasn't even dislike. Just a big fat nothing.

The most recent guy I met off collarme, we couldn't get away from each other fast enough. Well, he wanted me to go to one of the houses he inspected. Once he realized I wasn't going to some empty house in the middle of nowhere with him; he couldn't get away fast enough. I did enjoy a nice meal at Applees though. Maybe he sensed my revulsion? I dunno, but the guy seriously squicked me out. He blocked me on both collarme and Fetlife so I guess it was mutual.

The last guy I had a relationship, we met off Collarme. I happened upon his profile and he seemed nice so I invited him over for tea or coffee. The chemistry was off the charts.

Chemistry is a fickle bitch.

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 5

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 4:54:46 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

Thats the way it goes. I had a sleep over a few weekends ago with a Fet girl. We got along famously online, still got along famously in real life, but there was no chemistry there. She still slept in my bed... but I didn't put out... the bitch didn't bring flowers or chocolate or nuthin.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 6

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 5:16:01 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

I met one guy in person from here roughly a year ago. I knew from the start it would be a hard sell, as he lived in another country and it would require one of us to relocate in the future if it worked. I was open to the idea with the right person, but it turned out he wasn't that right person.

I was the one who didn't feel the spark. I suspect he didn't either, but I can't say for sure. He did admit later he liked me and invited me to come visit him in his country. I can't imagine he'd do that for someone he didn't feel serious about. But when here, it felt like I had to be the one initiating everything. That's not something I'm used to.

So it didn't work out, and I met someone else closer to me. I'm a lot happier.

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~Roxie

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 7

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 5:33:35 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Thats the way it goes. I had a sleep over a few weekends ago with a Fet girl. We got along famously online, still got along famously in real life, but there was no chemistry there. She still slept in my bed... but I didn't put out... the bitch didn't bring flowers or chocolate or nuthin.

*shaking my head ....

what is the world coming to ... no flowers, no chocolate, no nuthin ....

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 8

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 6:10:54 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Thats the way it goes. I had a sleep over a few weekends ago with a Fet girl. We got along famously online, still got along famously in real life, but there was no chemistry there. She still slept in my bed... but I didn't put out... the bitch didn't bring flowers or chocolate or nuthin.

*shaking my head ....

what is the world coming to ... no flowers, no chocolate, no nuthin ....

Yeah! Preaching to the preacher, sister and toasting the toastmaster of the immoral majority!

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to kallisto)

Post #: 9

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 6:16:11 PM

InHisHeart

Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline

We started on-line and before we met face to face, we both decided that if everything we needed to feel was there for both of us that would be great and we'd see where it goes from there even though it would be a LDR for a while. That was 8 years ago, the chemistry was definitely there. We also greed if it wasn't working for one or both of us, that would be okay, we'd go our separate ways but we'd remain friends.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 10

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 6:34:21 PM

dreamlady

Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline

OP, I know it wasn't your focus to hear about success stories, but I would have liked to have seen 1-2 positive options where there was in-person chemistry -- one where the relationship endured, another where it didn't work out or else still ended up crashing & burning.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExiledTyrant

Thats the way it goes. I had a sleep over a few weekends ago with a Fet girl. We got along famously online, still got along famously in real life, but there was no chemistry there. She still slept in my bed... but I didn't put out... the bitch didn't bring flowers or chocolate or nuthin.

Hmm, I always find that interesting, when men decide not to put out with a willing, fairly attractive female. With my men friends, it's understandable because they tend to be more on the sensitive, romantic side.

Not to get personal, but I know a guy who should have been appreciative of being given a birthday fuck by a somewhat younger rich-bitch divorcée who had her pick of Hollywood studs.
He couldn't get into it with her, and he normally doesn't have any problems in the bedroom (so he claims).
This was due to (a) her self-entitled attitude that she was doing him a big favor, (b) she didn't think she had to do any work as an attentive lover, and (c) she showed him no affection, which made him feel used -- not ordinarily a problem with him either.

Back to your OP. . . it's so hard to find that spark of sexual attraction for some of us. Depending on how much time was spent bonding on-line, you would think in-person results would have a higher success rate.

I've had pre-meet letdowns. Dude doesn't know his size (yeah, right) and thinks it might be between 5-6 inches. Don't bother to be precise, is what I told him.

(It being a moot point already.) I do make an effort not to be shallow about this HUGELY IMPORTANT DEAL BREAKER, and if dude doesn't offer up his stats or volunteer a pic, I'll wait a couple weeks before inquiring.

DreamLady

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 11

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 6:44:54 PM

ExiledTyrant

Posts: 4547
Joined: 12/9/2013
From: Exiled
Status: offline

Well, I'm a weirdo and I am just not interested in getting involved or giving an illusion of involvement with someone that isn't the person(s) I am looking for. I have an insanely busy life and for me to interrupt my schedule it has to be with some one that is a part of my permanent future.

I plan on moving back to Hawaii in October and I still have to finish this house, build the cottage on the lot behind this house, and put some final (serious) touches on the house I own down the street. I have a lot to do and I am doing it on my own, so I really don't have time for any distractions. I am so homesick it is pathetic and I am just so finished with being on this continent it is beyond words.

_____________________________

Gnothi Seauton
To lead, first follow: Aurelius, Epictetus, Descartes, Sun Tzu, to name a few.

Semper fidelis (which sometimes feels like a burden)

(in reply to dreamlady)

Post #: 12

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 7:03:11 PM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

I was online with my pet for three years before we met face to face. ALtho we arent together 24/7 the chemistry was and is still there, I met him face to face october 11 2001. Im going to see him the second week of june for a week. Im so excited right now. We get to see each other 3-4 times a year.

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(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to ExiledTyrant)

Post #: 13

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/17/2015 7:06:39 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

I have met a lot of people from online over the years. Very rarely does it misfire. When it has misfired, it's was more a life compatibility issue than lack of animal passion (spark)... i.e they confused part-time fantasy slave role play for slave lifestyle and I don't want to proceed and waste either of our time.

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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to smileforme50)

Post #: 14

RE: Moving from online to "face to face" - 5/18/2015 1:53:00 PM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

I've had it go both ways. I've met people from online which has led to long term relationships, and others where I'm left with thinking "WTF happened"?

Just the nature of the beast, I suppose.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 15

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