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Cheating - 7/15/2006 9:15:34 PM   
alwaysobeyingyou


Posts: 20
Joined: 4/13/2006
Status: offline 		Hey - I am dealing with a problem right now. I started talking with this guy and he was seeming pretty decent, flirty, like we could have a fun time together. Then I messaged this girl and she and i were talking about our collarme experiences, she mentioned that she had met some and that they were dating each other exclusively. She told me the name...and it turns out it was the guy that I was also talking to. I am still talking to him 'normally', but she knows and is completely distraught. Do I call him out on it? This guy has said that he and I should go out for drinks and talk on the phone - and when i discreetly asked him about this girl, he said basically that they had met once. When, as she tells me, they are dating and are together. I know she's telling the truth and I'm feeling pretty upset by the whole thing. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do about him, and what she could do? 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Cheating - 7/15/2006 9:16:41 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		Sure, post it in a public forum, so everyone can be as outraged as you are.

(in reply to alwaysobeyingyou)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Cheating - 7/15/2006 9:26:54 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Are you sure she is not over stating the issue?  Is it possible she was talking to him and wants him so made up the more serious relationship to throw you off?  Either way, seems like too much drama for me to deal with before even meeting.  I would just let it go.  As far as she is concerned, that's between the two of them.  If she knows, she will need to handle it however she feels is appropriate to. 

If he is involved with this girl and there is cheating involved, do you really want to go there?

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Cheating - 7/15/2006 9:28:25 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		Nodding,I have passed on girls who mentioned dating others......told them to come back when they had cleaned thier plate.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Cheating - 7/15/2006 9:32:55 PM   
alwaysobeyingyou


Posts: 20
Joined: 4/13/2006
Status: offline 		oh NO! I am definately not getting involved with him, I put the kabash on that. They definately are dating, she's gone and stayed at his house and talk on the phone everynight kind of thing. She said they both agreed that it was exclusive. She also said that hetold her he doesn't even talk to people on here, which is obviously a lie. 

(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Cheating - 7/15/2006 9:40:02 PM   
QuietDom


Posts: 255
Joined: 7/10/2004
Status: offline 		Okay, you're not getting involved with him.  Problem solved.  Over and done with.

You can't fix every dishonest guy out there; you probably can't change even one.  So just walk away and don't waste any more thought on it.

(in reply to alwaysobeyingyou)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Cheating - 7/15/2006 9:43:01 PM   
Irishblu


Posts: 61
Status: offline 		Just take yourself out of the equation.  Seems he is nothing but a liar and only thing that is going to happen is, someone is going to get hurt, do you want that to be you?

Simply tell him that you know he has been lying to you and you don't need to get in the middle of all the drama.

Just my take on it



_____________________________

Be safe and be well,
irishblu

"For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice--no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service." -John Burroughs

(in reply to alwaysobeyingyou)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Cheating - 7/15/2006 9:48:16 PM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alwaysobeyingyou

oh NO! I am definately not getting involved with him, I put the kabash on that. They definately are dating, she's gone and stayed at his house and talk on the phone everynight kind of thing. She said they both agreed that it was exclusive. She also said that hetold her he doesn't even talk to people on here, which is obviously a lie. 


You say you KNOW what she is saying is true.. how do you Know this for sure just because SHE is saying it doesnt make it true girls do lie aspecially when they like a guy who may not be interested in them all I am saying is do you have any realy pruff that she is telling the truth or is it a he said she said thing.. because she can tell you anything she likes aspecially if she likes this guy and she feels thretend by you.

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to alwaysobeyingyou)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Cheating - 7/15/2006 9:51:52 PM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Irishblu

Just take yourself out of the equation.  Seems he is nothing but a liar and only thing that is going to happen is, someone is going to get hurt, do you want that to be you?

Simply tell him that you know he has been lying to you and you don't need to get in the middle of all the drama.

Just my take on it




see now you are jumping to conclutions how do you know HE is the one lieing.. Im not takeing sides but honestly there is his side her side and the truth you cant go around passing judgments when you dont have all the facts which is the bigest problem here on these boards

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to Irishblu)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Cheating - 7/15/2006 10:04:51 PM   
Irishblu


Posts: 61
Status: offline 		Maybe I should have just said, since there is dishonestly somewhere in this, why continue?  I am not passing judgements, and only going off of what the OP said, which is all we can do.  If it seems I was jumping to conclusions, I apologize that was not my intent.



_____________________________

Be safe and be well,
irishblu

"For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice--no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service." -John Burroughs

(in reply to enigmabrat)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Cheating - 7/15/2006 11:17:47 PM   
neverstop


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/1/2006
Status: offline 		they are a mess, he is not worth it and she should call him on it, not you.
a better thing would be to trick him into a night with the two of you and punish him the way an ass should be

(in reply to Irishblu)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Cheating - 7/15/2006 11:29:36 PM   
GothiqueKajira


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline 		Unfortunately, I was in a similar situation. I met a guy on this site, met him in real life.. and things went on smoothly for a few months, and then about seven months in, I moved in with Him. Two months after that I find out that Not only did he lie about his status and race, but also his name and age as well.. -- He said he was single.. He's married, he said that he was italian, and was cuban (not that race matters, it's just the whole point that he lied) His given name, and real name aren't being disclosed, and he mentioned that he was 27, and was in fact 34.

It just goes to show you that people -can- be very cruel, and decietful, and after little over a year,  I found that out.

However, I'm leaping back on the wagon, so to speak, and I wish You all the best of luck. :)

(in reply to neverstop)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Cheating - 7/16/2006 12:54:27 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		No matter who is lying, there is way too much drama going on.  Step out of it and move on - and honestly, I'd stop talking to her too ... unless there is absolute proof that she is the one telling the truth.

(in reply to GothiqueKajira)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Cheating - 7/16/2006 2:04:04 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		Think about it! You could have found out about this much later when you had fallen for the bloke and been left distraught. You are lucky that you have found out now. I'd get out but if you want fun, at least you know what he is like so don't expect him to act differently towards you in any future relationship.

Myself, I wouldn't cause myself any drama and just leave them to it.

(in reply to alwaysobeyingyou)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Cheating - 7/16/2006 3:46:43 AM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		How about you "all" go out for drinks..could be interesting.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to alwaysobeyingyou)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Cheating - 7/16/2006 3:54:11 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

How about you "all" go out for drinks..could be interesting.


Hey, this could then turn into a much more interesting poly thread!

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Cheating - 7/16/2006 3:58:07 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver
Hey, this could then turn into a much more interesting poly thread!


Cheating isn't poly.... he has been outed as a cheat... cheats can not be trusted and without trust, what sort of relationship of ANY kind can really be had? Maybe something you could live with, I've no idea, but certainly nothing worth having from where I stand.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Cheating - 7/16/2006 4:08:01 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		My response was to scooter's (I assume tongue in cheek) suggestion they all go out for drinks.

No one really knows if the bloke is cheating or not because no one knows what his perception of the situation is. The woman might have assumed their relationship was more serious than it was, after all they had only seen each other once, hardly enough for any relationship to be taken seriously.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Cheating - 7/16/2006 4:08:07 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		*fast reply*

There's nothing more you can do.  You've killed any chance of a relationship between you and the guy, you've told the girl.  It's up to her what she does with the information.  It's up to you to decide whether to stick around her during the drama.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Cheating - 7/16/2006 4:19:16 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver
No one really knows if the bloke is cheating or not because no one knows what his perception of the situation is. The woman might have assumed their relationship was more serious than it was, after all they had only seen each other once, hardly enough for any relationship to be taken seriously.


I'll never meet any of the people so not 'judging' the individuals. Mearly responding to the 'scenario' as presented in the OP. For her, the situation IS proven... she stated she KNOWS the girl to be telling the truth, her mind is made up, case closed from her PoV, therefore, to her, he is a proven cheater and not someone to be trusted.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 20
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