Update: Grieving Pets... (Full Version)

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shiftyw -> Update: Grieving Pets... (5/27/2015 8:21:38 PM)

So...I have to thank everyone for their great tips and advice a while back regarding my grandmother's very confused pets upon her having to be moved into a home.

They are all doing better.
Both cats have taken to sleeping with my aunt at night. The one outside kitty is very grateful it is finally summer and he can get out of the house a bit more. He is the older of her two cats- and he has certainly been asking for more attention than previously. He would walk with my grandma outside- just like a dog and I think we all miss that. The other has adapted pretty well. Although they are both still sleeping on the blanket my gram left behind- it seems they have both calmed down and discovered a new routine.

My parents dog is doing ok. She is still being a bit too protective when she is over at my grandmother's old house. We haven't been allowed to bring her to the nursing home yet [:(] because they wanted my grandmother to get used to a routine there and not interrupt it too much these first few months. But it is still in the works.

Thanks for all your support and advice all!



bamabbwsub -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/27/2015 8:34:53 PM)

I think it's wonderful that your family is caring for your grandmother's pets. So many people don't want to be bothered and will either give them away to just anyone, or will have them put to sleep.

Animals are very resilient, but they definitely grieve for their caretakers. Kudos to you for recognizing that and for showing them love and patience as they adjust.

I hope your grandmother's cats continue to settle in with your aunt, and I hope that your grandmother will be allowed to visit with the dog in her new home. I think it would do both of them a lot of good. :)



shiftyw -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/27/2015 8:42:26 PM)

Oh my gosh- getting rid of them would never be an option! I understand those that can't care for a loved ones pets- but since we have the means and time- we are certainly more than willing. We love them all too.



littleladybug -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/27/2015 9:10:21 PM)

So glad to hear that things are coming along well with them. [:D]

Hopefully the dog will be able to make a trip soon to see her. I'm sure that will do both of them good.



DaddySatyr -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 2:19:00 AM)


I don't know that I believe that pets really grieve. I've seen too much (with my own eyes) to suggest that, if they do, it doesn't last very long (I'm trying not to be too graphic).

That said, I recently adopted a runt of a litter because that's where my heart and my head were at. I didn't want a fuckin' dog, no matter what but when I heard he was the runt, I agreed to look and when I looked, I couldn't take a chance that he might not get to the teat, enough.

Why do I bring this up? Because he's not a large dog, there's a very real chance that he'll out-live me. I have made arrangements with my neighbor that when the time comes, he'll be taken care of.

I still don't know about him, "grieving" my loss but he is turning out to be a very good (and smart) companion, already. He's a lover and he loves messing with me so, how could I not dig him with a shovel?



Michael



JstAnotherSub -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 4:32:33 AM)

Thank so much for the update, glad it is going well.



entrigued -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 8:56:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


I don't know that I believe that pets really grieve. I've seen too much (with my own eyes) to suggest that, if they do, it doesn't last very long (I'm trying not to be too graphic).


Yeah, they do grieve - and yes it can last a very long time. I have photographs and video of my dog mourning the loss of her 'puppy', a dog I rescued at 2 months of age whom she raised as her own. Watching her go through that broke my heart. She went from a vibrant, athletic, and fun-loving dog to old overnight. She lost so much weight and so fast, I thought I was going to lose her, too. I nursed her back with bread soaked in broth and long walks and lots of time spent cuddling, but she was never the same. She passed away a few months ago after a valiant fight with bone cancer. But no - she never 'forgot'.





DaddySatyr -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 9:00:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: entrigued


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


I don't know that I believe that pets really grieve. I've seen too much (with my own eyes) to suggest that, if they do, it doesn't last very long (I'm trying not to be too graphic).


Yeah, they do grieve - and yes it can last a very long time. I have photographs and video of my dog mourning the loss of her 'puppy', a dog I rescued at 2 months of age whom she raised as her own. Watching her go through that broke my heart. She went from a vibrant, athletic, and fun-loving dog to old overnight. She lost so much weight and so fast, I thought I was going to lose her, too. I nursed her back with bread soaked in broth and long walks and lots of time spent cuddling, but she was never the same. She passed away a few months ago after a valiant fight with bone cancer. But no - she never 'forgot'.



I am really trying not to be too graphic but, I think you mistook my point. There is no doubt in my mind that a lot of animals grieve the loss of their own kind with whom they've become close.

I question them, grieving their human companions for any great length of time.

I'm sure your dog was a great dog.



Michael



littleladybug -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 10:43:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

I still don't know about him, "grieving" my loss but he is turning out to be a very good (and smart) companion, already. He's a lover and he loves messing with me so, how could I not dig him with a shovel?



The only "grief" I've seen from a dog is with my partner's dog. After my partner died, I took him, and it took about 2 weeks for him to get back to himself. (This dog was at my partner's side for a solid 10 years.)

I believe that a lot of his resiliency has to do with the fact that he had known me, my dog and cat, and my place for most of his life. So, kudos to you, DS, for already having a contingency plan in place for your little buddy.

Sight and hearing "memory" leave relatively quickly, but smell lasts forever. So, it's not surprising to me that shifty's grandmother's cats are gravitating toward the blanket. And, I have no doubt that if my partner came walking down the street tomorrow, his dog would run toward him, once he got the smell.



RockaRolla -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 12:32:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


quote:

ORIGINAL: entrigued


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


I don't know that I believe that pets really grieve. I've seen too much (with my own eyes) to suggest that, if they do, it doesn't last very long (I'm trying not to be too graphic).


Yeah, they do grieve - and yes it can last a very long time. I have photographs and video of my dog mourning the loss of her 'puppy', a dog I rescued at 2 months of age whom she raised as her own. Watching her go through that broke my heart. She went from a vibrant, athletic, and fun-loving dog to old overnight. She lost so much weight and so fast, I thought I was going to lose her, too. I nursed her back with bread soaked in broth and long walks and lots of time spent cuddling, but she was never the same. She passed away a few months ago after a valiant fight with bone cancer. But no - she never 'forgot'.



I am really trying not to be too graphic but, I think you mistook my point. There is no doubt in my mind that a lot of animals grieve the loss of their own kind with whom they've become close.

I question them, grieving their human companions for any great length of time.

I'm sure your dog was a great dog.



Michael

When someone I know lost his wife, their five birds grieved with him. Two of them did not live much longer. One refuses to form bonds with anyone new, having lost too many people in her lifetime.

Granted, birds and dogs are worlds apart, but there's an example. I do know that pets of all kinds get attached to their owners, feel love, and miss them when they're away. But I think it's more a lack of understanding, rather than a lack of grief, that comes into play when a pet fails to show mourning. All they know is their human's been gone for a long time.



epiphiny43 -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 12:47:22 PM)

All social animals that form strong bonds with each other or with humans can grieve the lost partner/s.Particularly human imprinted ones, such as hand fed-as-babies anything. Many parrots form pair bonds with humans and may never be quite the same after being separated from their first 'mate'. How apparent this is to us is more a measure of how well an individual observes pets than whether it happens or doesn't. Dogs declining after the loss of a loved human has been in the literature for centuries if not longer.
Actively breeding individuals (in pair bonding species) with current options to replace a mate are much more adaptable as the drive for reproduction isn't gone and has an outlet.



DaddySatyr -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 12:57:23 PM)


... and dogs and cats, both, will eat the corpse of their human, once they get hungry enough.



Michael



RockaRolla -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 1:56:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr


... and dogs and cats, both, will eat the corpse of their human, once they get hungry enough.



Michael

Humans have been capable of the same. Yet we still feel grief.



shiftyw -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 2:20:24 PM)

I mean- I don't know what exactly to call it. They were depressed, grieving, sad, confused, lonely- whatever.

Being the only living things with such a great ability to reason and depth of feeling, I think makes grieving much harder for us than them- but they were all still effected by her leaving and the suffering we went through because of it- whatever it was.



kallisto -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 4:44:27 PM)

Happy to hear they are adjusting well ....

And I think animals do grieve the loss of their "human family". Just my opinion. No scientific evidence to throw out ...



DesFIP -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 6:03:35 PM)

Dogs love, so why wouldn't they feel hurt when their loved one disappears?
Obviously they don't understand that the person died but I believe they mourn.

Anyway, for people who want to know more about what a dog's brain is and isn't capable of, I recommend this:
http://www.amazon.com/How-Dogs-Love-Us-Neuroscientist/dp/1491575689



LipstickLeuger -> RE: Update: Grieving Pets... (5/28/2015 6:12:56 PM)

Pets do grieve.

We had 2 cats. My older cat Razz, had kidney shutdown, and we put had to put him to sleep. Miya, our other cat, did nothing but call for him, eat and sleep. She put on 5 lbs, which is a lot for a 8 lb cat.(she was rotund at 12 lbs) She was like a little depressed human. This went on for over 4 weeks. So, finally, we got her a companion and she took to him, grooming him and loving him. They sleep together and everything. She started to sleep less and lost that weight. So, no one will convince me that they don't grieve. Maybe not as we do, but they do mourn.



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