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Orgasm during anal - 6/1/2015 1:39:12 PM

MistyBlitz

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/17/2008
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Hi. I'm new here so please excuse me if I've put this question in the wrong section.

I have been learning to accept anal sex. It was tricky at first but I am enjoying it now. The thing is, that when my man is up my ass from behind, he likes to put his hands between my legs and masturbate me until I cum.
Normally I would not consider an orgasm to be a problem, but when I have a cock in my ass, the orgasm completely changes how the anal penetration feels. Its hard to explain how it changes, but before orgasm it feels sexy, sensual and involved. And after orgasm it feels awkward, painful and like he's forced himself in.
I have never heard any other woman comment on this. I cant find any reference to anyone saying similar on the web. Am I the only one who feels this?
I dont want to tell my guy as he REALLY enjoys anal and loves to make me cum as much as he can. If I tell him it'll change things and I don't feel its my place to dictate to him how he enjoys me.
But it ruining my enjoyment of anal. For the first time in my life I don't want to cum.

Does anyone else experience this? Does anyone have any ideas?

Misty

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RE: Orgasm during anal - 6/1/2015 7:33:15 PM

InHisHeart

Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
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I love anal and don't have any problems when I cum during anal so can't help you out with what's going on with you. Explaining to him how you feel and what goes on isn't dictating anything to him, it's simply telling him. It's still his choice whether or not he changes things up. That's just my take based on my experiences with my Master who wants to know what goes on with me, he wants feedback, what I enjoy, what I don't enjoy, how good or not so good X, Y or Z is for me. What he decides to do is still completely his choice and it's not always the choice I would prefer.

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RE: Orgasm during anal - 6/1/2015 8:58:48 PM

shiftyw

Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
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I'm not a sub. But we enjoy anal a lot. The anus doesn't lubricate itself like your vagina. I think you'll find even if you weren't coming, you may end up with that feeling when any lube you used wears off.

I think telling him is the best way. Perhaps he can add more lube, or wait to make you cum, or make you come before starting anal- whatever it may be, I think it would be good to communicate to him what is happening.

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RE: Orgasm during anal - 6/2/2015 12:11:05 AM

MistyBlitz

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Thanks for the replies. And OK on the communication thing. I will tell him. Once I figure out the best way to word it :)
Its not lube related. Its a dramatic change right on orgasm. I fell that rush, then suddenly the anal is very different. Am I unique?

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RE: Orgasm during anal - 6/2/2015 1:38:11 AM

dreamlady

Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
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Umm, I thought that everybody who does anal knew that when the woman says Take It Out, you take it out. Ever so slowly. . . doesn't matter if the guy is still hard or just came. You could be doing it for years, for decades, before you ever get to the point where you don't need to eject anymore. (The same with not requiring extra lube, which isn't the issue here.)

I'm surprised you haven't heard this before. Your profile is hidden, so I don't know what age you are or why your girlfriends wouldn't have mentioned it to you unless this isn't a subject you ever discuss with the other women you know.

When you come, you have contractions. Vaginal, cervical, and anal contractions, so if you're not pushing him out at that point, then your silence as to your discomfort is not helping your man any. The fact that he masturbates you tells me that he wants you to enjoy it and that he is a considerate lover.

I'm not going to get into this whole concept of sub can't speak up and tell her partner, be it her Dom or a Top, what brings her pleasure and what doesn't. Speaking as a woman, you might as well be in the Dark Ages if you cannot find your voice as to what you enjoy in bed, and without that feedback, how does anyone expect their lover to be the best lover that he or she can be? Would you want him to not say what he doesn't like when you suck his cock, or would you rather he told you how he likes it?

If my sub just went along with the program (in his head, because uncommunicativeness is not what I want in my partner) and didn't give me continual vocal responses, or thought he was supposed to act like he was a mute village idiot - I actually had one like that whom I decided not to collar - I would be more ticked off about the lack of trust between us than anything else. Every woman is slightly different and no two bodies will respond identically. If you two haven't been together for very long, then the highly critical intimacy-building process is more important than your fretting about your unsubbliness or hurting your man's feelings. You're not doing him any favors, and this is exactly why some women fake orgasms, which is not what you want to start doing either once you keep going down that road you're on.

Just saying.

DreamLady

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RE: Orgasm during anal - 6/2/2015 4:04:30 AM

fetishandpain

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Joined: 2/15/2015
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I actually prefer anal with stimulation and finally orgasm, without it I don't enjoy it... And they are the best orgasm

Anna

< Message edited by fetishandpain -- 6/2/2015 4:05:56 AM >

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RE: Orgasm during anal - 6/2/2015 5:47:29 AM

InHisHeart

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Joined: 3/22/2014
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistyBlitz

Thanks for the replies. And OK on the communication thing. I will tell him. Once I figure out the best way to word it :)
Its not lube related. Its a dramatic change right on orgasm. I fell that rush, then suddenly the anal is very different. Am I unique?

Explain it to him just how you explained it in your first post. Communication is so important in a relationship, he's not a mind reader and being a Dom doesn't mean he doesn't give a damn about your comfort and enjoyment but unless you talk to him about it, you'll never know.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.

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RE: Orgasm during anal - 6/2/2015 7:54:41 AM

preytolife

Posts: 138
Joined: 11/29/2010
From: LaLa Land
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When you orgasm your muscles are compulsively tightening up. I know when I orgasm both during and afterwards anal can be difficult because those muscles seem to tighten as well. With practice you can probably learn to relax but if it's actually painful and you need to stop then tell your partner and stop right away. You can tearing if you are not relaxed enough.

As for what you can try... Try masturbation with smaller types of anal penetration. You can work on your muscle control and you can "train" your muscles better. You can also try anal stimulation, not always penetration, post orgasm. Giving yourself some positive connotations for after you cum can help. It may also be a lubrication issue, if you're using water based lubricants they can run dry faster and you can need to make sure you use more periodically during play. There's also other, better kinds of lubricant that can be used if you don't use condoms or toys during play -- but I'm fuzzy at the moment and I think I'd mix up which is which if I tried to list them.

If you keep on forcing yourself to do anal when it's painful you can cause damage and that may limit your activities in the future.

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RE: Orgasm during anal - 6/2/2015 2:07:05 PM

sweetieDA

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Orgasms change how the body processes sensations. After I have orgasmed, I just don't want any more sex of any kind. It also makes me perceive things as more painful afterwards.

If you don't want to tell him, then you could simply accept being used for his pleasure. If you can't accept that, then you're going to have to tell him! Either that, or hold off your orgasm until the end.

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RE: Orgasm during anal - 6/2/2015 3:21:12 PM

dreamlady

Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetieDA

Orgasms change how the body processes sensations. After I have orgasmed, I just don't want any more sex of any kind. It also makes me perceive things as more painful afterwards.

I'm not sure whether being maso (if applicable) would affect sensation-processing, but I think most if not all women in general become hypersensitive. Some don't even want to be touched right afterwards. Don't know how that factors in with women who enjoy the domination aspect of "forced" orgasms.

With me, I'm pretty much spent after three.

I can maybe do two with cunnilingus, better if they're spaced apart. The ideal trifecta is. . . one each, and then I don't get too sensitive in any one localized erogenous zone.

quote:

If you don't want to tell him, then you could simply accept being used for his pleasure. If you can't accept that, then you're going to have to tell him! Either that, or hold off your orgasm until the end.

The feeling I get is that her man is not that kind of lover, that he's not a selfish pig who doesn't care about her pleasure, so in her case I don't believe this is a viable option for her. Yes, she absolutely must explain this to him. He's going to want to know why she has altered and/or isn't getting into their lovemaking the same as she used to.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes, but to me this is a no-brainer no matter which side of the kneel you're on.
From the dominant perspective, putting yourself out there as being so-oo subbly that you're only about your partner's pleasure is a reverse form of sexually objectifying him or "forcing" him to sexually objectify you by assuming that that's what he would want from his sub without his input. He's not the one who gets to decide this when his sub resorts to an intentional act of omission. Now how is that being a *good* submissive?

DreamLady

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