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Best way to find a Domme - 6/2/2015 7:33:43 PM   
MaxS72


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/3/2014
Status: offline 		Hello all,

What is the best way you have found for subs to find a Domme?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/2/2015 7:53:38 PM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline 		Why, I would suppose right here in Ask a Master. They lurk there quite a lot. I cannot think why. But don't ask why. Instead do and one might write you and say "Luke, I am your Master" deep breathing sounds.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to MaxS72)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/2/2015 9:06:31 PM   
Tumbler


Posts: 45
Joined: 9/15/2014
Status: offline 		First you post a personal ad that looks like a question to the ask a mistress section of collarspace.

Then you run a search for all dommes within 500 miles and you send each of them a personally crafted message asking them the same thing (change the name at the Dear Mistress/Goddess/Ms XXX----XXXX part, as it's a dead giveaway when you leave the x's in place).

Then you point your web browser to http://www.bdsmstreak.com/videos?c=3 and watch femdom videos for hours and hours, or until the dommes start writing you back.

When one writes back, you solicit her with the script of the current femdom video that you're watching at that very moment (the inherent randomness helps in this process of finding just the right domme).

If she likes it, you're in like stink!

If not, there's always anothre fish in that fetish filled ocean we call earth.

(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/2/2015 11:41:04 PM   
dreamlady


Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline 		50 ways to guarantee that no relationship-oriented Domme would want to touch you with a 10-foot pole. . .

Wait, that's not the topic here, is it? I must have gotten it confused with the hundreds of other vanilla wannabe-a-sub/wanna-find-me-a-Mistress-pronto threads that have glutted these message boards.

First of all, what makes you think that going about finding a Dominant woman is much different from appealing to any other available woman on line, or how you would stand out on a vanilla dating site or any other searching-for-Ms.-Goodbar site which is swarming all over a specialized category of female who is being sought after by hordes of other men?

What makes you a special catch? What do you offer to bring to the table in an interpersonal relationship? If you were a woman, would you want to date you?

You seek a Keyholder Mistress. Like the vast majority of male fetishists, you don't really have much to offer relationship-wise, do you? Let's just be honest about this. You want to feed your fetish, you want your kink scratch itched.

This has nothing to do with male submission, and everything to do with your own fantasy script that plays over and over again in an endless loop in your head. How do I know this? Because you say in so many words right in your profile that your marriage broke up due to sexual incompatibility with a wife who refused to be your Keyholder. No doubt, not the only reason, but more than likely the straw that broke the camel's back.

A small tip to a grown-ass man who's nearing middle age. Don't ever refer to a grown woman as a "girl who knows her way around a riding crop," particularly not a Domme.

At this stage in your voyage of self-discovery, you aren't suitable partnership material for a lifestyle Domme, none of whom would be the least bit interested in volunteering to fill this singled-out position for you. You want to play? Be prepared to pay. You'll have to go the route of hiring a Keyholder provider, and that's if she has an opening for a chastity slave and feels you are worth her valuable time and effort.

DreamLady

(in reply to MaxS72)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/3/2015 2:19:53 AM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaxS72

Hello all,

What is the best way you have found for subs to find a Domme?


Speaking as a Domme...by not beginning their profile with kink. After reading a few profiles that are nothing but "blah blah kink, blah blah blah hard limits", most of the guys sound all alike. What stands out (for me) is when someone's writing is mostly about vanilla stuff, what they like to do in their daily life, hobbies, pets, and stuff like favorite tv shows.

I'm more interested in the men who write to me like I'm a person first, rather than my being their potential Drive Thru McDomme.


(in reply to MaxS72)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/3/2015 8:44:09 AM   
MiaCastle


Posts: 72
Joined: 5/4/2015
Status: offline 		I love telling a man what I want and what to do, but I don't like building him up from bottom feeder to my man; Olympic male stud with a brain. (At least he's that to me.)

If you have to ask, don't try. It could be very discouraging and with some women; dangerous.

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/3/2015 7:43:10 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaxS72

Hello all,

What is the best way you have found for subs to find a Domme?


2,400 bucks, and a car

(in reply to MaxS72)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/3/2015 9:10:33 PM   
subincalif


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/3/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaxS72

Hello all,

What is the best way you have found for subs to find a Domme?


Be genuine.
Be yourself.
Approach a domme as just another human being.
Look for a connection of values before a connection of kink.
Look for someone whose company you enjoy apart from anything to do with BDSM.
Make the fact that she's a domme the last reason you seek her company, not the first company.
Take your time. And expect the process to take time.
Don't get desperate because that can lead you to pretend to be what you think someone wants rather than what you are.

(in reply to MaxS72)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/4/2015 1:47:14 AM   
ThePrincessKali


Posts: 424
Joined: 9/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady

50 ways to guarantee that no relationship-oriented Domme would want to touch you with a 10-foot pole. . .

Wait, that's not the topic here, is it? I must have gotten it confused with the hundreds of other vanilla wannabe-a-sub/wanna-find-me-a-Mistress-pronto threads that have glutted these message boards.

First of all, what makes you think that going about finding a Dominant woman is much different from appealing to any other available woman on line, or how you would stand out on a vanilla dating site or any other searching-for-Ms.-Goodbar site which is swarming all over a specialized category of female who is being sought after by hordes of other men?

What makes you a special catch? What do you offer to bring to the table in an interpersonal relationship? If you were a woman, would you want to date you?

You seek a Keyholder Mistress. Like the vast majority of male fetishists, you don't really have much to offer relationship-wise, do you? Let's just be honest about this. You want to feed your fetish, you want your kink scratch itched.

This has nothing to do with male submission, and everything to do with your own fantasy script that plays over and over again in an endless loop in your head. How do I know this? Because you say in so many words right in your profile that your marriage broke up due to sexual incompatibility with a wife who refused to be your Keyholder. No doubt, not the only reason, but more than likely the straw that broke the camel's back.

A small tip to a grown-ass man who's nearing middle age. Don't ever refer to a grown woman as a "girl who knows her way around a riding crop," particularly not a Domme.

At this stage in your voyage of self-discovery, you aren't suitable partnership material for a lifestyle Domme, none of whom would be the least bit interested in volunteering to fill this singled-out position for you. You want to play? Be prepared to pay. You'll have to go the route of hiring a Keyholder provider, and that's if she has an opening for a chastity slave and feels you are worth her valuable time and effort.

DreamLady



It's pretty much the same on vanilla dating sites except you substitute "Domme" for "girl who will agree to have sex with me before we've chatted at all or met."

(in reply to dreamlady)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/4/2015 11:56:50 AM   
masmiss


Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline 		You left your wife because she wouldn't be your keyholder? She's lucky to be rid of you.

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to MaxS72)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/4/2015 9:28:21 PM   
DommeShilo


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/26/2013
Status: offline 		Findca local munch group with the intent of learning about the lifestyle. Invest in you education in that way so you have something to offer other than a set of fantasies you cultivated on porn and online chat with a bunch of other people that havent bothered to take advantage of the educational opportunities the community has to offer. Then once you have some actual lifestyle experience...detail that in your profile.

(in reply to MaxS72)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/6/2015 4:47:56 PM   
Snitch


Posts: 105
Joined: 1/27/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaxS72

Hello all,

What is the best way you have found for subs to find a Domme?


The most accurate answer was the 2400 bucks and a very nice car.

(in reply to MaxS72)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/8/2015 7:00:42 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaxS72

Hello all,

What is the best way you have found for subs to find a Domme?


There's actually an ATM in Carson City (just 6 miles outside of Reno). "$5.00.00? $50.00? $500.00? $2,500.00. Domme?"

(It's enclosed, so there's requisite privacy).

(in reply to MaxS72)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/11/2015 7:47:11 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamlady

50 ways to guarantee that no relationship-oriented Domme would want to touch you with a 10-foot pole. . .

Wait, that's not the topic here, is it? I must have gotten it confused with the hundreds of other vanilla wannabe-a-sub/wanna-find-me-a-Mistress-pronto threads that have glutted these message boards.

First of all, what makes you think that going about finding a Dominant woman is much different from appealing to any other available woman on line, or how you would stand out on a vanilla dating site or any other searching-for-Ms.-Goodbar site which is swarming all over a specialized category of female who is being sought after by hordes of other men?

What makes you a special catch? What do you offer to bring to the table in an interpersonal relationship? If you were a woman, would you want to date you?

You seek a Keyholder Mistress. Like the vast majority of male fetishists, you don't really have much to offer relationship-wise, do you? Let's just be honest about this. You want to feed your fetish, you want your kink scratch itched.

This has nothing to do with male submission, and everything to do with your own fantasy script that plays over and over again in an endless loop in your head. How do I know this? Because you say in so many words right in your profile that your marriage broke up due to sexual incompatibility with a wife who refused to be your Keyholder. No doubt, not the only reason, but more than likely the straw that broke the camel's back.

A small tip to a grown-ass man who's nearing middle age. Don't ever refer to a grown woman as a "girl who knows her way around a riding crop," particularly not a Domme.

At this stage in your voyage of self-discovery, you aren't suitable partnership material for a lifestyle Domme, none of whom would be the least bit interested in volunteering to fill this singled-out position for you. You want to play? Be prepared to pay. You'll have to go the route of hiring a Keyholder provider, and that's if she has an opening for a chastity slave and feels you are worth her valuable time and effort.

DreamLady



Thinking Dream Lady is cool, honest and on target!

OP ... coming here on your lunch hour, cheating on your vanilla whatever, and thinking you will get your way, doesn't work.

Trust me, you can talk with and meet the most wonderful Dommes in the world here; if you swallow your ego, are considerate of Her, listen to Her and strive to please ...

Nothing more then that

So like get to the advice Dream Lady gave you. It will work in time!

Until then, this is another dumb question that has been answered multiple times in the last decade. Thus I say ... good luck, jerk!





_____________________________

Got my second paddle! Finally! :-)

Heck I had one in 2010 .. now in 2013 another! Yes you can say, i am just a gifted slow learner!

(in reply to dreamlady)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/21/2015 2:38:13 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		The same way that you hunt for wabbits...with a stick and a carrot.

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/29/2015 8:24:59 PM   
LadyAlexIndy


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/10/2014
Status: offline 		I found both mine on here. They both contacted me first, and wrote me thoughtful responses that showed their personality and character, and kept doing so. I am an early meet-up person; public place, nobody's going to get to play or anything, just to see if we get along in person and we're both real. We were compatible. I have been dating my boyfriend, who is a solitary character and lives by himself and likes it, for just on two years; our third anniversary is this weekend. My girl is new; it was intended to be a non-sexual service submissive arrangement, but she found my husband and I attractive, and so with pleasure on both sides we converted it into sex and service, and she just moved in last weekend.

Sometimes it takes a while to find someone who wants what you want. And small things can derail it; probably some guys who got in touch with me here were people who would have worked but who don't write well. Probably some saw "I have cats, " and were allergic, and moved on. Some probably saw that I do neither bondage nor strapon play and moved on. And some probably saw that I want friendship with BDSM play and sex, and just wanted either a zipless fuck or a pro to beat them. And that's all right. Because it was worth waiting to get the people in my life whom I love and whom I want to spend the rest of my life in relationship with.

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/29/2015 11:46:01 PM   
disgaldrar


Posts: 37
Joined: 6/28/2015
Status: offline 		I'd say local munches, but, that is based off my personal preference.

(in reply to LadyAlexIndy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/29/2015 11:46:14 PM   
MsLethal


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/26/2015
Status: offline 		OP - you don't want a Domme. You want a service top.

Be prepared, as stated above, to pay.

(in reply to LadyAlexIndy)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 6/30/2015 12:34:34 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline 		The best way is to write me. I have a list of referrals. I do not take insurance or checks.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to MaxS72)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Best way to find a Domme - 7/3/2015 12:29:09 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		if youre searching online my best advice is READ READ READ READ READ HER PROFILE!!
I cant tell you how many subs write me and Im lookng at their message like "this fool didnt even read my profile"
Dont be that fool.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Arturas)
Profile   Post #: 20
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