Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/7/2015 3:30:32 PM   
MasterG2kTR


Posts: 6677
Joined: 8/7/2004
From: Wisconsin
Status: offline 		THIS says it all

_____________________________

Did you know.....
Two wrongs don't make a right,
but three rights make a left
....think about it
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/7/2015 3:54:16 PM   
tj444


Posts: 7574
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterG2kTR

THIS says it all

Its a "War"????

Don't we have enough "Wars" already? every time the govt wants to scare people into compliance or violate rights en masse, they call it a "War"..

_____________________________

As Anderson Cooper said “If he (Trump) took a dump on his desk, you would defend it”

(in reply to MasterG2kTR)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/8/2015 6:49:23 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterG2kTR

THIS says it all


Genius.

(in reply to MasterG2kTR)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/11/2015 1:30:08 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline 		How about merely expecting kids to pick up and implementing consequences instead (can you say "teenage has no phone for a week") when the kid actively ignores you when you expect to be able to reach it?

Seems like as soon as you put forward that you need 'tricks' in order to get compliance, you already lost, because you already acknowledge that you have no power at all.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/13/2015 6:27:33 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Because teenage male minds don't think about consequences. The frontal lobe is not sufficiently developed for them to register in time.

I have to assume you don't have a teenaged boy.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/13/2015 7:07:09 PM   
SirMatty1


Posts: 27
Joined: 2/22/2015
Status: offline 		The fewest people ever consider the consequences of their actions.

That is why the world is such a mess.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/13/2015 7:10:57 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Because teenage male minds don't think about consequences. The frontal lobe is not sufficiently developed for them to register in time.

I have to assume you don't have a teenaged boy.

Developed or no, the male doesn't magically learn how to think of consequences at age 20. They have to be taught, and that wont happen if you're resorting to cheap tricks.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/13/2015 7:51:04 PM   
InHisHeart


Posts: 630
Joined: 3/22/2014
Status: offline 		~FR~

My sons were once teenagers, they learned to think of consequences when they had privileges taken away from them. It didn't take much before they figured it out. My son does the same with my grandson who is 13, don't follow the rules, lose a privilege for X amount of time.

_____________________________

I don't have a bucket list but my fucket list is a mile long.

I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.


(in reply to RockaRolla)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/13/2015 9:40:07 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Because teenage male minds don't think about consequences. The frontal lobe is not sufficiently developed for them to register in time.

I have to assume you don't have a teenaged boy.


No, I have two quite a few years younger than that (and thus even less developmentally advanced in the subject) and they do just fine.

People have been telling me: "you can't expect a child X years old to follow rules, they're not yet ready for that!" since they were 6 months old.
Oddly enough I still haven't caught up to an age where that actually turns out to be true. Unless I get lax and start being inconsistent, don't follow true on what I say, and fail to provide a lot of structure... then stuff quickly turns into exactly what people claim it ought to be.

Shift back to normal fast enough too when you get on top of thing again though.

PS: Point in case: A while back my 7 year old boy started to misuse the voice feature in the message app on his iPad. Specifically by sending dozen of short 2-3 second messages playing around with the feature, to a bunch of people. It was rather annoying, immature, and a clear mis-use of the technology.
So he was told that he was no longer permitted to send voice messages.
He was clearly very disappointed, cause he was enjoying it, but acknowledged that he understood the prohibition.

He hasn't done it since. I don't expect him to do it either. In fact, I'd be absolute shocked if he does.
Just like I'd be shocked if, in a couple years from now, he would deliberately refuse to pick up his phone if he had been told that he was expected to pick it up.

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 6/13/2015 9:58:43 PM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/14/2015 1:33:06 AM   
MariaB


Posts: 2969
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		I think its a great app, especially for parents who do have difficulty contacting their teenage son/daughter. If there is never a problem then parents don't need the app but if there have been problems, this could be a solution. There is nothing more stressful than worrying about your child/teenager that for some reason you can't get in touch with. Yes, there are consequences but you, the parent have already had to suffer the stress. It could also be used on a lost or stolen phone.

_____________________________

My store is http://e-stimstore.com

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/15/2015 7:17:23 AM   
ydd


Posts: 129
Joined: 10/27/2014
From: a special place of wine and music
Status: offline 		can I turn off his phone so he will study? he has diploma exams starting tomorrow and has yet to study. how about an app to turn off his xbox? oh, I know that one....its called a breaker box

_____________________________

the poster formerly know as yourdarkdesire

(in reply to MariaB)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/15/2015 7:38:52 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't need an app for that. I just sign in to my Verizon and suspend my sons phone until he calls me to find out why his phone isn't working. Nothing pisses me off more than to pay for a phone my son ignores me on. For me, it is a win/win. I don't pay for it when it's suspended and he learns to answer the damn phone.

(in reply to ydd)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/15/2015 10:48:17 AM   
Wayward5oul


Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I don't need an app for that. I just sign in to my Verizon and suspend my sons phone until he calls me to find out why his phone isn't working. Nothing pisses me off more than to pay for a phone my son ignores me on. For me, it is a win/win. I don't pay for it when it's suspended and he learns to answer the damn phone.


I like that. Question though-if the phone is suspended, how does he call you? Is there a feature that allows him to call only a pre-determined number?


(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/15/2015 10:55:59 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Usually he uses his girlfriends phone or one of his friends. They all have em.

(in reply to Wayward5oul)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/15/2015 10:58:08 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		(Sighs.) I don't know when I became so lazy I quit using ' for possessive. Just read it with those inserted as needed. Meh

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/15/2015 12:38:45 PM   
Wayward5oul


Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

(Sighs.) I don't know when I became so lazy I quit using ' for possessive. Just read it with those inserted as needed. Meh


I get lazy with casual online stuff. Not with emails, or if the person on the other hand hasn't had a chance to determine if I am intelligent or not. But with casual stuff, I figure if people can't mentally fill it in or are disturbed enough by it that they feel the need to point it out, then they are probably someone I shouldn't be chatting with anyway.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/15/2015 3:57:02 PM   
Casteele


Posts: 655
Joined: 12/10/2011
From: Near Sacramento, California, USA
Status: offline 		FR

Putting the whole phone app thing aside for a moment.. There's a WAR between parents and teens? No wonder some have problems with their kids.. Make them feel like they're an enemy that needs to be attacked and destroyed.. and they'll fight you. Wouldn't you feel the same? Wouldn't it be better to make them feel like you're their parent, trying to guide them in to becoming better adults, not trying to kill them as the enemy? There is no substitution or excuse for simple good parenting to begin with.

Add back in the whole phone app issue.. Yes, teens will be teens. And even with good parenting, sometimes, they see their friends do it to their parents and think it's okay if they do it to you. Such an app, IMO, would best serve as a reminder that "just because your friends suck, doesn't mean you have to suck, too!" So, used right, such an app can be a good tool in the parenting toolbox.. Just.. NOT a *replacement* FOR good parenting.


C.

(in reply to Wayward5oul)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/15/2015 4:23:40 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		FR

I think the app is a bit much for my taste, personally, but I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with it. Kids ignore phone calls just like they pretend not to hear mom and dad calling them from the front porch to come inside for the night. It's just a different medium for kids to ignore parents, and a different medium for parents to get their attention. Not better or worse, just modernized.

(in reply to Casteele)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/16/2015 9:57:29 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		And using the app is just as much of a consequence as taking the phone away.

YDD: re Xbox. I didn't take it away as a punishment. I told him that I knew he had difficulty focusing on homework with it there looking enticing. And therefore he should give me the controller Sunday night and take it back Fridays after getting the work done. It was set up as a helpful study guide which he accepted, and didn't feel angry about.

After a while, he'd get the work done early and then take the controller to his room for a couple of hours. Until he no longer needed the aid of it not being available to help him organize and study.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers - 6/17/2015 3:16:38 AM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		Sometimes it carries into the 20s. I used to pay for Lizard's cell phone but I stop doing it because my SSI is rather small. She got herself a new phone (Iphone 6 I believe) and she and her boyfriend pays for it. I am just waiting for some money on my end for her internet bill (told her NO MORE, especially with me trying to save money for an anime con at the end of the year). Once in a while I might have to order something for her but she tries to stay on top of her budget (she had to break down and sold some games when she realize her dad and I are refusing to cover her butt).

_____________________________

Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> A Win in The War: Parents vs. Teenagers Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094