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How do you take charge in a session? - 6/9/2015 10:57:31 AM   
johnsk


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/2/2011
Status: offline 		I seek a domme for a fairly serious spanking session maybe more. I have had my bottom tanned by a few females, yet none seems to know what I need...its for HER to take absolute control from moment one. How do you do that with your subs? or slaves?
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RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 6/9/2015 11:24:48 AM   
MiaCastle


Posts: 72
Joined: 5/4/2015
Status: offline 		I believe you are missing something in this. After reading your profile, it seems you are looking for a casual situation which is fine, but if I were to do casual, I sure wouldn't put myself in a situation where I could give you all I had which could be considered assault. I would need to know you very well before I ever went so far that I could be arrested. One reason why I won't do casual.

You mentioned rewarding someone for a good spanking and yet have an issue with young findoms that call submissives pay piggies. You must realize that the mention of rewards is going to bring the findoms right to you.

What it seems that you want is an ongoing casual agreement or arrangement and that can happen. What you might look into is a prodom. There is a big difference between a findom and a prodom, but you will pay top dollar for the good ones. What's it worth to you?

Lifestyle dominants might do something like this, but in my experience, that would be a rare. Perhaps you could go to a munch or event and make some connections. You might find someone that would love the arrangement you are interested in.

When you state that its for her to take full control, I shake my head. Look at the words. IT IS FOR HER to take control. To me that sounds like a preconceived expectation or even a demand that you want this and expect this. You might need to prearrange something like that. When men demand or expect anything but trust and a relationship we work out, I tend to laugh and walk away. No one expects play from me or demands anything. So don't be surprised if you run into other dominant women that will note how you speak and what might be behind the words.

I wanted to add that a dominant will take control, their way. If you have a need for a certain type of control, you may need to discuss it. Just leave out that it is for her or her place to take control. Maybe I'm pickier than other dominants, but that is a part of who I am and from experience with men and seeing men expecting things from women on a casual basis as if she is there to supply for his needs and that or dinner and a gift card is enough for her. We used to say men take us to dinner and then expect to hop into bed. As if we could be bought for a dinner. Some of us cannot be bought, will buy our own dinner and tell the expectant guy to ---- off.

< Message edited by MiaCastle -- 6/9/2015 11:44:40 AM >

(in reply to johnsk)
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RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 6/9/2015 3:26:41 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
Ah, the irony though.

To take full control, a sadist would deny you the spanking. Period.

And, instead, do the sadistic things that get HER off.

You up for that? Never a spanking again. Ever.

If you want to dictate how long, how hard, etc., then you have to find a partner that is willing to bend to your will or isn't impacted/distracted by possibly feeling objectified.

Akasha

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(in reply to johnsk)
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RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 6/9/2015 5:24:05 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		You appear to be a Dominant masochist. You want to be spanked your way, on your terms. What you are looking for is a submissive sadist, one who will spank you as you like and enjoy giving you that pain.

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Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

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RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 6/12/2015 8:32:27 PM   
FieryOpal


Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Ah, the irony though.

To take full control, a sadist would deny you the spanking. Period.
And, instead, do the sadistic things that get HER off.

You up for that? Never a spanking again. Ever.

If you want to dictate how long, how hard, etc., then you have to find a partner that is willing to bend to your will or isn't impacted/distracted by possibly feeling objectified.


Hahahahaha...
These spankees don't want a real sadistic Disciplinarian, they want a serve-up-to-order spanking service Top.

He should get strapped to a wooden spanking block - none of this frou-frou OTK skin-on-skin contact - and get his ass beat until it turns purple.

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

You appear to be a Dominant masochist. You want to be spanked your way, on your terms. What you are looking for is a submissive sadist, one who will spank you as you like and enjoy giving you that pain.

Yeah OP, good luck finding one of those sadistic subs, and a female one is rarer than a unicorn. Actually, what OP describes sounds very much like how "sub" clients act with their 2-page BDSM scripted checklists from what I hear.

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(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 6/16/2015 10:52:58 AM   
johnsk


Posts: 40
Joined: 9/2/2011
Status: offline 		I would always have a safe word agreed upon, I think. But outside of that, in an extreme case, I would want the domme to be in total control.

(in reply to FieryOpal)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 6/18/2015 11:41:54 AM   
Miyani


Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline 		And if she wants to check in with you, not go full force with a new bottom, be a considerate and caring domme... shouldn't she have the right and ability to do that? Isn't that part of what being in control means?

(in reply to johnsk)
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RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 6/19/2015 2:22:18 PM   
MissKatya


Posts: 341
Joined: 12/21/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:


Hahahahaha...
These spankees don't want a real sadistic Disciplinarian, they want a serve-up-to-order spanking service Top.



Welcome to McSpankers, can I take your order?

Would you like that happy meal "spanker sized" for 40 cents more?

Drive through :)

_____________________________

"The desire to inflict pain, that is all that is uppermost"-Albert Fish

(in reply to FieryOpal)
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RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 6/19/2015 2:41:55 PM   
MissKatya


Posts: 341
Joined: 12/21/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline 		After reading the feedback here and reviewing your profile, I have to agree with the general concensus. It seems that the Domme being in control is more for your fantasy and not the reality. You want her to be in control but on your terms, not hers.

My advice would be to either attend some munches and form a friendship with someone who is interested in spanking and understands what you need (as someone said-an "Unicorn") or save the milk money and visit a Pro-Domme/Disciplinarian who specializes in what you are seeking. You will have to pay for the services but chances are, you will get a more accurate description of what you are seeking.

And I would also drop the "control" thing as it's not exactly what you want. You want a service top who can feed into your fantasy. The sooner you understand this, the easier it will be for you to find someone compatible.

_____________________________

"The desire to inflict pain, that is all that is uppermost"-Albert Fish

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 6/22/2015 1:33:08 PM   
LilithMorrigan


Posts: 11
Joined: 5/19/2015
Status: offline 		"I treat women well, and will reward your kindness with nice meals or gift cards..."

Hi... findom here. I'm gonna take a moment to echo what was said above in that this sounds a lot like you're looking for a findom arrangement despite that you aren't. I did just sell a pair of panties in exchange for a gift card.

I have a pro/fin domme profile here because I use this site for work. But I'm also a lifestyler. I wouldn't agree to scene with you because:
1. Your journal entries are EXCLUSIVELY you complaining about other people, and in several cases, complaining that they aren't giving you what you want when they have no obligation to.
2. The amount you complain about fin dommes, employing ageism and kink-shaming to do so (because findom IS a real kink, thanks, and some men like being called pay piggies and that's okay, and even if I was inexperienced I knew I was kinky before I was an adult, so while I agree there are people doing it for a quick buck it's pretty hurtful to those of us legitimately into it - I might agree to spank someone for fun, but it's not gonna be someone who insulted something else I'm into).
3. Your entire profile is about kink, and I don't pursue lifestyle dynamics with people who reduce themselves to kink (especially after your comment at findoms suggesting they should make themselves look like "decent human being(s)")

I don't know what your initial messages look like. Maybe they're great. But you're not going to attract people who are going to treat you like a person when your entire profile seems to be representing you as someone desperate to get something you want who whines when you don't get your way and blames it on everyone else. You say you want to be "controlled" but you're not coming off as someone who wants to make kinky friends so much as someone seeking a service top. Which, you know, is fine, but admit that. And maybe go pay a pro-domme to provide it for you.

< Message edited by LilithMorrigan -- 6/22/2015 1:34:22 PM >

(in reply to MissKatya)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 6/22/2015 6:09:28 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline 		1. It can take a while to find a domme. Since you are really narrow in what you seek,and very focused on what you want, it will take much longer.
2. Threads that ask women to discuss your fantasy/fetish tend to burn out fast.
3. I looked at your profile. Your journal is an unending string of complaints about collarspace and dommes in general; you are shooting yourself in the foot.

Good luck.

(in reply to johnsk)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 6/23/2015 12:42:35 PM   
MasterMuffin


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/17/2015
Status: offline 		A few – yes I am very sure. Whilst the partner is away I says hypothetically malarkey will be malarkey.

So in conclusion these wenches are no keepers (Really not one?), or you are no keeper.

Have you tried self thrashing with a mace? Given that none of these made up mere mortals could live up to your be thrashed into next week expectations – details are bereft, I cannot help but notice you omitted the hullabaloo of why the failed your thrashing area, and what it would take for thy to bestow your pass marks unto these mere mortal beings

Have you tried advertising for a to be thrashed competition and what wondrous rewards they would be bequeathed by your fine self I doth wonder. try on here you will get zerpo offers. A reflection of you, or them *the reader may decide*

(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 6/30/2015 2:03:09 AM   
Kinkcouple05


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/16/2015
Status: offline 		Well said

(in reply to MissKatya)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 7/4/2015 3:28:21 PM   
BlueRoses1111


Posts: 48
Joined: 5/3/2015
Status: offline 		Does it have to be a Domme? Just go to one of the spanko parties and enjoy being spanked by men and women that love to give and receive. With your fantasy style service top desires I think a Pro would work as well.

(in reply to Kinkcouple05)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How do you take charge in a session? - 7/6/2015 4:35:17 PM   
lthrpup


Posts: 125
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline 		Hire a professional dominatrix.

(in reply to BlueRoses1111)
Profile   Post #: 15
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