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Love - 6/29/2015 5:34:41 AM   
maturemaster60


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/27/2015
Status: offline 		I am a Master. I have a question relative to protocol

Is it possible for a Master/Mistress to fall romantically in love with His or Her slave?

Master Thorn
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Love - 6/29/2015 6:15:32 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		I should hope so...

(in reply to maturemaster60)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Love - 6/29/2015 6:15:37 AM   
disgaldrar


Posts: 37
Joined: 6/28/2015
Status: offline 		I am an owned slave, and I am also in love with my Master - the love is assuredly reciprocated. So to anyone not aware of the fact that the dynamic started off as D/S more or less right away, we do appear to be co-habiting boyfriend and girlfriend. It's difficult to determine where the vanilla side ends and the kink-relationship starts, so interwoven are the two. So yes, it is certainly possible for a Master or Mistress to fall in love with a submissive/slave, and vice versa. I've never been in a D/S relationship or a relationship with hallmarks of BDSM in the sense of 'one dominant, one submissive or two switches' where there was not a romantic quality to it as well.

(in reply to maturemaster60)
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RE: Love - 6/29/2015 7:02:40 AM   
BiFVirgin


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/8/2015
Status: offline 		Absolutely yes.

Such is the state of Master and my relationship. We are involved as Master/slave and as friends/lovers/romantic partners. We have equal intensity in all versions of "us" and despite what some folks will claim, love, or being IN love, does NOT kill a M/s or BDSM relationship - at least not for us. Nothing is universal of course and "who" is involved plays into it more than any other factor. The argument I am most familiar with, given against love-based BDSM or D/s or M/s relationships that I have heard, is that love is perceived by some to have a way of softening the Master/Mistress, and their seeing the slave more through vanilla colored glasses and thereby evaluates all He/She does with her/him more cautiously. (as to how an act or a requirement may cause her/him to react, as opposed to how She/He might handle him/her were there no romantic component. )

For me anyway, I have seen nothing of that in Master/Daddy. He is as perverse, debauched, intense, insistent, and commanding a presence as a Dom, as He always was.

I am every bit the slave, obedient servant, devoted and debauched, salacious slut I always was and WANT to be :) I enjoy flowers and affection and his opening car doors for me as much as any vanilla woman would. The difference is I do not EXPECT that of him, which makes it all the more alluring when he DOES do it. There is something wonderfully decadent about receiving a rose based on His love, yet given with all the thorns on it and having it placed between your breasts and then watching Him tie them together and let the thorns do their work.

I hope you find it but if you don't that is ok. We're all different.

LA



(in reply to maturemaster60)
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RE: Love - 6/29/2015 8:34:51 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I would suppose a Master or Mistress can do whatever they please. That might include romantically loving their slave.

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Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to maturemaster60)
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RE: Love - 6/29/2015 8:47:34 AM   
moonbeast


Posts: 13
Joined: 8/12/2007
Status: offline 		*Cough* Isn't this the "Ask a Master" section? ;-)

But I agree with the ladies above: Yes, it's definitely possible.

But as BiFVirgin has pointed out: there are some caveats involved. If you start as a non-loving play couple, the dominant one might experience some additional guilt trips. Especially in the first or second relationship. It takes some time and experience to learn how to use your love and affection to your advantage. In my opinion this is the cruicial point. To really understand deep in your heart, that the things you do is something good for your loved one. Else it might be perceived by the submissive part as weakness.
And there are some subs around who can't tolerate that even a Dom might evolve and learn new things (including feelings ...)

On the other hand, if you explore the BDSM part from the base of an established romantic relationship, you might never run into these problems.

(in reply to BiFVirgin)
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RE: Love - 6/29/2015 10:36:16 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline 		*cough* per TOS anywhere can post anywhere in the forum.

(in reply to moonbeast)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Love - 6/29/2015 10:41:56 AM   
littleladybug


Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline 		I'll be a presumptuous submissive and answer this on behalf of my dominant partner.

Unequivocally, yes.

The "romantic", "love", "life partner" relationship is what he wanted from the outset. The presence of BDSM, or the lack of it, has jack all to do with it.

(in reply to shiftyw)
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RE: Love - 7/8/2015 12:35:46 PM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maturemaster60

I am a Master. I have a question relative to protocol

Is it possible for a Master/Mistress to fall romantically in love with His or Her slave?

Master Thorn


You get what you give, it's as simple as that.

(in reply to maturemaster60)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Love - 7/8/2015 1:20:25 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline 		If human history has shown one thing consistently it's that love cannot be contained by social constructs such as class, status, hierarchy, rank, cast, role, upbringing, religion, place of origin, racisme, or age.

People who love each other will do so regardless of whether or not every single other person they know thinks they shouldn't, can't, or shouldn't be allowed to.

As such it's rather irrelevant to ask whether or not people in an M/s relationship can love each other. A more pertinent question seems to be whether they do.

_____________________________

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I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
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(in reply to DerangedUnit)
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RE: Love - 7/8/2015 1:45:02 PM   
Wayward5oul


Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maturemaster60

I am a Master. I have a question relative to protocol

Is it possible for a Master/Mistress to fall romantically in love with His or Her slave?

Master Thorn


Is it possible? Sure, anything is possible. I know several D/s couples that identify as master/slave, that are married or otherwise romantically committed to each other.

Are you asking if it is acceptable within the dynamic of M/s? I would think that a Master would have the authority to define the parameters of his/her relationship, regardless of what others thought.

It is a relationship, and those are unique to the people involved.

When I first started doing all of this, and was being told by many in the "lifestyle" what was acceptable behavior, it felt very contrived and not at all natural. I was therefore constantly confused and frankly made some stupid choices, against my better judgement, because I thought that that was what protocol dictated.

When someone pointed out to me that there isn't exactly a bdsm SWAT squad out there patrolling and looking for lifestyle offenders, I lightened up and have been much happier.

Do what works for you and yours.

(in reply to maturemaster60)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Love - 7/8/2015 5:59:52 PM   
ModAssistant5


Posts: 98
Status: offline 		Removed two posts above. One from an individual using a sock to evade a ban, the other for responding to a post that was deleted.

Happy posting!

(in reply to Wayward5oul)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Love - 7/9/2015 3:05:22 AM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maturemaster60

I am a Master. I have a question relative to protocol

Is it possible for a Master/Mistress to fall romantically in love with His or Her slave?

Master Thorn


This is my personal opinion so it might be not in the ballpark type of thinking.

I will not love my property, I will value her, will die for her, but will not love her. I would find the dynamic of loving her would then lessen my control over her and even punishment. I personally would feel if I loved her then the leadership type of thinking that I would have would be off putting in my punishing her. If I loved her then I might only paddle her 20 times instead of 50 times, because I do not want to hurt her. Or if she does something wrong I might let it go with those eyes doing the opening and closing thing you females do...LOLOLOL.

This is just me.


_____________________________

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Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to maturemaster60)
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RE: Love - 7/9/2015 3:06:54 AM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ModAssistant5

an individual using a sock

Happy posting!


I thought only the men used a sock to put in the front of their pants to make it look bigger....ROFL.


_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to ModAssistant5)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Love - 7/9/2015 11:18:10 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FrankAr


quote:

ORIGINAL: maturemaster60

I am a Master. I have a question relative to protocol

Is it possible for a Master/Mistress to fall romantically in love with His or Her slave?

Master Thorn


This is my personal opinion so it might be not in the ballpark type of thinking.

I will not love my property, I will value her, will die for her, but will not love her. I would find the dynamic of loving her would then lessen my control over her and even punishment. I personally would feel if I loved her then the leadership type of thinking that I would have would be off putting in my punishing her. If I loved her then I might only paddle her 20 times instead of 50 times, because I do not want to hurt her. Or if she does something wrong I might let it go with those eyes doing the opening and closing thing you females do...LOLOLOL.

This is just me.



Yeah, horses for courses, and that's not me.

Firstly, I wouldn't break my neck to die for anyone.

Secondly, 'the dynamic of loving her' turns an act that is somewhat functional into a gift. The more I love a woman the more I want to hurt her. Call it empathy, shared experience or some such.

Suppose it depends what you're in it for, and to me it is, at least in part, a means to experience emotions beyond the normal course of life; as is love. So, the two, BDSM and love, seem perfectly compatible; desirable even.


_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to FrankAr)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Love - 7/9/2015 11:40:57 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline 		The Gor novels show Master and slave romantic loves. Many miss the fact these novels are romances. These romances between master and slave are deep and passionate, unbroken as the steel ring that joins their hearts, a relationship as natural and predictable as the morning Star.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Love - 7/9/2015 12:12:55 PM   
NookieNotes


Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
Secondly, 'the dynamic of loving her' turns an act that is somewhat functional into a gift. The more I love a woman the more I want to hurt her. Call it empathy, shared experience or some such.

Suppose it depends what you're in it for, and to me it is, at least in part, a means to experience emotions beyond the normal course of life; as is love. So, the two, BDSM and love, seem perfectly compatible; desirable even.



Quoted, because I feel the same.

_____________________________

Nookie
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https://datingkinky.com

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(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Love - 7/10/2015 11:05:29 AM   
Arturas


Posts: 3245
Status: offline
quote:

*Cough* Isn't this the "Ask a Master" section? ;-)


No. Obviously not. I'm not sure why forum sections are titled the way they are. Perhaps at one time there was a vision of a place where one could direct a question to specific audiences. Perhaps it is a TOS out of sync with an obvious vision of what this forum was to be. But it does not matter at this point except when you are a newbie and for like the millionth time somebody throws the TOS at you with a little snark. It is kinda like an initiation right of passage to put it in better terms than it deserves. Best you can do is post in "Ask a Master" and maybe get some answers from them and even bait a few others into quoting the TOS at you again, it can be amusing.

Love is something I found here. You will find that women love even if you do not return it. Be gentle with their passions and hard with their desires.

_____________________________

"We master Our world."

(in reply to moonbeast)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Love - 7/10/2015 12:57:31 PM   
Moderator3


Posts: 3289
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arturas

quote:

*Cough* Isn't this the "Ask a Master" section? ;-)


No. Obviously not. I'm not sure why forum sections are titled the way they are. Perhaps at one time there was a vision of a place where one could direct a question to specific audiences. Perhaps it is a TOS out of sync with an obvious vision of what this forum was to be. But it does not matter at this point except when you are a newbie and for like the millionth time somebody throws the TOS at you with a little snark. It is kinda like an initiation right of passage to put it in better terms than it deserves. Best you can do is post in "Ask a Master" and maybe get some answers from them and even bait a few others into quoting the TOS at you again, it can be amusing.

Love is something I found here. You will find that women love even if you do not return it. Be gentle with their passions and hard with their desires.


Bait a few others into quoting the TOS at you again, it can be amusing.

People posting in any area isn't a TOS issue. Even mods don't quote TOS and it hasn't been quoted here. The forum is open to all posters that post within guidelines with TOS as a backup in keeping things as they should be. Snark is allowed and was at its best when there were more dominant men posting in this and other areas and was often used by them.

Before we all change the subject of the OP's thread, lets keep in mind that the discussion of the section areas or anything other than the topic should be on another thread. The topic would be subject to the opinions and desires of many with various points of debate, and no one can please everyone.

So far the sections have worked with posters able to post anywhere and the section titles as they are. Snark was at its height when the forum regularly had many thousands of viewers and posters at any given hour. Many survived those rough and tumble days and I think the adults currently using the forum will manage the same.

What we see here are posters trying to give an answer to a question and taking part on the forum. The days where femdom and maledom fought over who could post in the others section were often heated, stirred up as revenge because someone tried to punish someone else for posting in an area that they perceived as their own. This often required mod attention where forum users learned that everyone that used the forum, were allowed to post anywhere they wished.

The End.

< Message edited by Moderator3 -- 7/10/2015 1:09:25 PM >

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(in reply to Arturas)
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RE: Love - 7/12/2015 8:39:40 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		Love and sex are not the same thing.

Wanting one with the other is a personal inclination regardless of how either manifests.

I'll respectfully disagree that you give what you get. You can give love and not get it in return. I know that one all too well. I'd rather have an open heart than a suspicious mind, though.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to Moderator3)
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