I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress just by her name

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I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress just ... - 6/29/2015 11:22:58 AM

spideycool69

Posts: 100
Joined: 1/14/2012
Status: offline

This is how our conversation went.

Me: How was your day, Marina? Did you recieve the gift card?

Mistress: Excuse me
Mistress: It's Mistress to you
Mistress: If you want to use my name you will say mistress first. What do you think I am?

Me: Sorry Mistress. Understood. I think I got a little frank after You apologised for the late response. It won't happen again. Once again I'm sorry.

Mistress: Well that is not good enough. I apologised because I respect everybody. Even if they are a useless slave. I won't be doing that anymore!!

Post #: 1

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 6/29/2015 1:21:21 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

There is no absolute right and wrong here.

You should ask the person you're corresponding with how they wish to be addressed. Not everyone wants to be called Mistress.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to spideycool69)

Post #: 2

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 6/29/2015 1:27:18 PM

arnoud

Posts: 8
Joined: 9/12/2014
Status: offline

I think the answer is pretty clear.
He (and that's not a typo) already has the gift card.
What does he need from you any more?

(in reply to MsLadySue)

Post #: 3

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 6/29/2015 2:56:14 PM

MiaCastle

Posts: 72
Joined: 5/4/2015
Status: offline

Useless slaves that send money gifts are no longer useless. I guess if slaves are slaves based on the gifts they send, then part of that dynamic would be to call a findom Mistress. Who knows but those doing this. I don't allow anyone to call me mistress until they are actually mine and most the time before that point, we have bought one another many things. They call me Mia until I commit to playing with them within a relationship and even after that. What someone calls me doesn't change who I am and I won't take insult or props from it. I will let them know what I want. They shouldn't have to read my mind, assume or play a guessing game and if they do, then maybe it is me who is playing a game.

I guess you get what you pay for one way or another. $$$ to throw some dynamics at you in a scolding and putting you in place, could seem fair to some, if it is all about an exchange.

(in reply to arnoud)

Post #: 4

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 7/3/2015 12:30:40 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

.

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 7/3/2015 12:33:05 PM >

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to MiaCastle)

Post #: 5

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 7/3/2015 12:32:31 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

I would simply ask them when you begin talking.

(sorry for the double post, my connection is being a butt right now)

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 7/3/2015 12:33:40 PM >

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to MiaCastle)

Post #: 6

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 7/6/2015 6:43:40 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

This is why it's advisable to get to know someone before engaging in play or kink fulfillment.
Did you get what you wanted out of this exchange? S/He got the gift card, you got abuse.

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to TNDommeK)

Post #: 7

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 7/6/2015 8:22:21 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spideycool69

This is how our conversation went.

Me: How was your day, Marina? Did you recieve the gift card?

Mistress: Excuse me
Mistress: It's Mistress to you
Mistress: If you want to use my name you will say mistress first. What do you think I am?

Me: Sorry Mistress. Understood. I think I got a little frank after You apologised for the late response. It won't happen again. Once again I'm sorry.

Mistress: Well that is not good enough. I apologised because I respect everybody. Even if they are a useless slave. I won't be doing that anymore!!

Well, I'd try...."Tampon, how are you today?" and see how that goes.

(Ya have to start somewhere).

(in reply to spideycool69)

Post #: 8

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 7/7/2015 4:56:44 AM

NookieNotes

Posts: 1720
Joined: 11/10/2013
Status: offline

I prefer to be called by my name, until I own someone.

That said, I would never get upset with someone making a mistake until I have communicated my preferences clearly, and given the opportunity to learn.

*shrugs*

_____________________________

Nookie
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(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Post #: 9

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 7/10/2015 9:26:41 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

She sounds like a cunt to me. And that is coming from a rather mean bitch herself. I form that opinion based mostly on the fact that I don't care for the word 'mistress' and to keep people from calling me ....I did a really silly thing called putting it in my profile. There is also the fact that no one is totally worthless. I mean you sent her money you think could have at least said thanks before she bitched about you using her name. (if that is her name and if that is a her)

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to spideycool69)

Post #: 10

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 7/17/2015 8:28:13 PM

LovelyLavender15

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/17/2015
Status: offline

You have to remember your dealing with dominant women here. I think MsLadySue has given you good advise. I suggest that you be careful about giving gifts before you meet. There are scammers on Collarspace.

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

Post #: 11

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 7/17/2015 11:06:34 PM

FriendlyMuppet

Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
Status: offline

My MO has always been to start a relationship with a woman by calling her "Ma'am", unless she directs me to refer to her by some other nomenclature. I've only ever had one woman ever get upset with "Ma'am", thinking that I was somehow "becoming her slave without her deciding that's what I would be", but I explained that I refer to all women as "Ma'am" more as a courtesy title than any designation of leadership or ownership. Some women I've dated have preferred to keep that title and had me use it exclusively from that point forward. Others have chosen other names. Some, didn't care one way or another as they were pretty sure they were in charge and no matter what I called them, they were going to get from me exactly what they desired.

Where this has been difficult is with relationships with professional dominants in which I'm not actually their submissive. An example is web work I have done over the years. Numerous professional dominants have hired me to design their websites, and it's always been a bit interesting to see the way things go from there (as in what she would like me to call her, or how to address her). Those types of situations I've always found to be humorous more than anything else, but definitely interesting nonetheless. People can be so interesting sometimes.

_____________________________

My Novels:
The Cell's Door: http://amzn.to/19I6VA1
Forced to Serve: http://amzn.to/108DByv

(in reply to spideycool69)

Post #: 12

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 7/20/2015 7:16:56 AM

LovelyLavender15

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/17/2015
Status: offline

Ma'am is ok in the Vanilla world, but I hate being called Ma'am on here. I rather they didn't use a name or a title at all, when first contacting me.

(in reply to FriendlyMuppet)

Post #: 13

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 8/31/2015 10:49:46 AM

Domin8rx

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/31/2015
Status: offline

I personally find the term "mistress" somewhat insulting as it tends to be what you call the woman you are cheating with. The 2nd woman, if you will.
If I'm not the primary woman in your relationship then we aren't having a relationship.

(in reply to LovelyLavender15)

Post #: 14

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 8/31/2015 11:03:31 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spideycool69

This is how our conversation went.

Me: How was your day, Marina? Did you recieve the gift card?

Mistress: Excuse me
Mistress: It's Mistress to you
Mistress: If you want to use my name you will say mistress first. What do you think I am?

Me: Sorry Mistress. Understood. I think I got a little frank after You apologised for the late response. It won't happen again. Once again I'm sorry.

Mistress: Well that is not good enough. I apologised because I respect everybody. Even if they are a useless slave. I won't be doing that anymore!!

Perhaps you should forget that waste of skin and look for someone who doesn't consider someone who is paying her bills to be useless?

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to spideycool69)

Post #: 15

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 8/31/2015 11:25:36 AM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline

I agree with what others here have said. When approaching someone with the intent of entering into a D/s dynamic, ASK what rules She prefers you follow, what titles She prefers. It is the polite thing to do (even in the vanilla world) and will help you prevent misunderstandings like this.

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 16

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 8/31/2015 6:13:40 PM

LadyNeith

Posts: 15
Joined: 10/11/2012
Status: offline

It all depends on the woman. Right upfront, as a slave, your job should be to learn her special ways and preferences. Attentive slaves are more pleasing.

As for me, I don't answer to Mistress (but it's a good way to get tied up and ignored). I prefer Ma'am. My good friend, a prodomme, prefers Goddess. We are all unique.

I think you can make up for your mistake here if you just try to surprise her with something pleasing (and do well not to repeat the same error, of course). I personally enjoy writing. A sincerely written devotional may be something she likes too. You could say, "Mistress, I have written about you for your pleasure, would you like to read it?" (because you always want her permission). Many women love gifts, of course, but pair it with something honest and she will melt. Hopefully this helps, but of course, all of us Dommes are so specific, so your mileage may vary.

Serve her well, and ignore all the shitty advice judgmental people here are giving you. The only person who controls your life is your Mistress.

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)

Post #: 17

RE: I didn't know it was wrong to call her a Mistress j... - 9/6/2015 7:21:00 PM

blnymph

Posts: 1598
Joined: 11/13/2010
Status: offline

not every Domme is like that - there are matters of keeping a certain distance, the feeling of control, authority, to be taken into account - some rational others not quite so

personally I prefer respect and manners in real life over virtual protocol

(in reply to LadyNeith)

Post #: 18

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