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LadyNeith -> RE: How do you find your sub, or slave (8/31/2015 6:34:25 PM)
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It can be hard for male subs and slaves to be found, even if they are decent, because the numbers are against you. You probably are already aware. But sometimes it hits me and I get pretty mad about it. Like the last rope class I went to IRL, maybe 25-30 people there. I did not see one other femtop there. And there was only one male bottom, bottoming for another male. And I am in a very accepting community!
What chance do any of you have? Sometimes it seems horrible and unfair. I wish I could take all of you little bastards in, like a crazy cat lady of slaves.
Thing is, as long as I need to work and provide for myself, I can't take on as many as I'd like (so suck it tribute-haters, and give to your loyal Dominatrix today). So I am picky as fuck. I have one slave, one under consideration (since April or May actually), and a partner who bottoms to me.
I chose ALL of them by a few in-common standards, unfair as fuck but possibly good data for you. Of course, other Dommes won't care about this stuff, and many will but will say they don't.
1. Take good care of your body. You will be hotter, and I promise it will help. People will say it doesn't matter, but most of us Dommes have our pick. Even if we are not so attractive ourselves. In addition, being healthy will reduce your physical limits, you can add to your profile something like, "Fit for many types of labor," or you can tailor that type of phrase depending on your actual situation.
2. Be sincere. You won't get far just bending over every bitch in heels that comes your way. I know we like subordinate folk, we really want you to also have a sense of your own self enough to appreciate us. How can you, if you are just puppetting what you think you should be doing? Examples of this are superficial use of honorifics to show off, or devotion from the very get-go. We know better. You don't love us, you DO have limits, and I am sick to death of being called Goddess/Mistress/Etc from random guys messaging me for the first time.
3. Put in a bit of effort. I know, it's bullshit to have to do this over and over and never even get a response. Well, do you want a mistress? It's not fair AT ALL but this is the game right now. If you don't learn the rules, you can't play. The good news is, if you do put in the effort, Senpai WILL notice you someday. Take the time to write a good message, talk to them. Learn them, let them learn you.
4. Go outside. Leave your home, go to munches or classes. I met two of my subs online, and one at a play event. The odds suck, but if you try to be helpful you might be noticed. Don't creep.
5. Ask questions. A lot of us like it when you show interest. Try it out.
6. If all of this fails, you get desperate, you start getting angry or resentful (or self loathing) start saving and hire a pro once in a while. They're nice people. Find one in your area. There are search indexes for this. If it's not your thing, I respect that. Get a gym membership and actually use it. Learn a language. Paint. Travel. You will be more interesting and you won't be a ticking time bomb of emotional resentment.
I hope this helps a little. Let me know if you have any questions about this, and yeah, what works for some won't work for others. It's not a perfect world, not a perfect system. But it's a good start, get headed in a direction and I'll be rooting for ya.
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