Sudden freedom

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daniel1973 -> Sudden freedom (7/17/2015 1:24:46 AM)
Master tells me that I am no longer his slave. Shock! Does he suddenly not want me? No, he says, he trained me as best he could but it's time for me to not bend over like a school boy any more. He will continue to accept me as long as I keep up my duties. I don't miss the canings ... I do miss the guidance however. Have you been through that?

LadyPact -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/17/2015 1:30:18 AM)
I did it from the other side. What do you want to know?

spellslave -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/17/2015 2:25:50 AM)
Not personally. I was a Domme in my first relationship, and that ended badly but strictly in a vanilla sense. Any D/S dynamic was also immediately terminated. In my second (LDR), it was a mutual termination - again I was the Domme but, that was just how it happened. In my 3-year relationship as a submissive/slave, I was suddenly freed because my Master died. We had discussed the possibility of 'what if' before, and he had ordered me to 'mourn then move on with my life'. I obeyed; just because he was gone, didn't mean that I was going to magically stop following his orders. I'm now owned. My Master now is a lot more communicative and open to conversations than my former one, so, I like to think that we'd at least negotiate things before and if I was ever suddenly freed, or if the D/S side of our relationship suddenly changed.

daniel1973 -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/17/2015 4:12:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I did it from the other side. What do you want to know? I just wanted to know what to expect, I guess. I wasn't too anxious, Master (I still call him that, although technically no longer required to) knows what he's doing. And it works! I've made some choices of my own already and didn't disappoint. Master chipped in with suggestions sometimes, that felt like a special reward. May I ask how it turned out for you?

sexyred1 -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/18/2015 5:24:18 AM)
I think you handle it like any other break up. Except that I know that for some whose relationships involved structure and decision making, it adds an additional layer to contend with. I was always the one to end things, and it was never sudden. It still hurts though, but you move on with dignity and strength.

daniel1973 -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/18/2015 6:35:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 I think you handle it like any other break up. This may be true! I've been avoiding this kind of situation since I've had my heart broken for the first time. quote: Except that I know that for some whose relationships involved structure and decision making, it adds an additional layer to contend with. Exactly! I feel an additional weight on my shoulders. I carry it with grace and I'm still amazed at how my master could have known that I'm able to do it.

daniel1973 -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/18/2015 7:40:16 AM)
PS: He keeps me in the "Please, Sir!" state where I would love to bail but not without permission.

daniel1973 -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/18/2015 9:33:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: spellslave I was suddenly freed because my Master died. We had discussed the possibility of 'what if' before, and he had ordered me to 'mourn then move on with my life'. I can't even begin to understand what that must be like. My sincere condolences.

spellslave -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/18/2015 10:40:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daniel1973 quote: ORIGINAL: spellslave I was suddenly freed because my Master died. We had discussed the possibility of 'what if' before, and he had ordered me to 'mourn then move on with my life'. I can't even begin to understand what that must be like. My sincere condolences. It was... difficult. But I have obeyed his order, and now live with a new Master/boyfriend. I mourn my former Master yearly as he would have desired.

daniel1973 -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/18/2015 11:39:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: spellslave It was... difficult. But I have obeyed his order, and now live with a new Master/boyfriend. I mourn my former Master yearly as he would have desired. How weird is that. The only way I've ever lost someone I care about was my father and he made jokes to the fact on how proud he was of me before I even knew that he was about to die. I go back to obeying and hope that what's wanted ... although it seems that it's a tad above my pay grade :-)

BitaTruble -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/18/2015 12:30:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daniel1973 Master tells me that I am no longer his slave. Shock! Does he suddenly not want me? No, he says, he trained me as best he could but it's time for me to not bend over like a school boy any more. He will continue to accept me as long as I keep up my duties. I don't miss the canings ... I do miss the guidance however. Have you been through that? Still going through it. After 18 years together I lost my Master in a car accident about a year and a half ago. Sometimes I forget he isn't just at work. Lost him, health insurance, my home, all income since I didn't work outside the home and of course the car was destroyed as well. One minute I want to take off to parts unknown..the next I want to start a business and sometimes I just want to forget everything and drown in tequila or go down and rescue every stray at the pound. that last one is how I acquired Gemma..the cat from Hell. People tell me that time cures.. So far..that's a no.. No it does not.

spellslave -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/18/2015 12:57:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daniel1973 quote: ORIGINAL: spellslave It was... difficult. But I have obeyed his order, and now live with a new Master/boyfriend. I mourn my former Master yearly as he would have desired. How weird is that. The only way I've ever lost someone I care about was my father and he made jokes to the fact on how proud he was of me before I even knew that he was about to die. I go back to obeying and hope that what's wanted ... although it seems that it's a tad above my pay grade :-) Yes, he'd want me happy - and being a submissive/slave or at the very least, embracing rather than denying my kinky side would fit his wishes of remaining as true to myself as possible. Do I miss him? Yes. Do I still love him? Of course. To assume that when one love dies and another is found that the love for the first is extinguished is... perhaps one of the sillier patterns of thought that I have come across in the past.

daniel1973 -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/18/2015 1:16:12 PM)
That's great and I think that you can consider him happy.

daniel1973 -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/18/2015 5:46:18 PM)
"simon helberg" Oh my dear god, it isn't actually that bad!

daniel1973 -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/18/2015 6:02:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble So far..that's a no.. No it does not. Time's a healer! It just takes ... well ... time. Patience is its own reward. And so on. It really works, they don't call me Daniel San without a reason.

DesFIP -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/18/2015 9:00:52 PM)
I'm not sure I could accept him unilaterally changing the relationship. Once he's ended the existing relationship, then you're free to negotiate what you need to maintain any kind of relationship with him. Or simply to walk away if what he's offering you doesn't work for you.

daniel1973 -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/19/2015 8:07:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I'm not sure I could accept him unilaterally changing the relationship. I can relate to that, it was certainly difficult to accept and, as usual, I wasn't convinced that I could do it. But that's the paradoxical nature of our relationship: I like to comply with his wishes but I also like it to be hard. Well he managed to come up with a nice challenge for me alright!

daniel1973 -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/20/2015 12:49:10 PM)
Update: I still owe my master an orgasm. I suggested that maybe he could beat me, I've always liked to jack off afterwards, and he never failed to allow me to relax after I've been in a tough spot. Master agreed but I just can't bring myself to ask for it. He says: "Believe me you will, it's just a matter of time." Now he has allowed me to put the former instrument of my punishment in plain view. Very exciting, but still no result. "You may use your hands!" Still no can do. Boy, am I sweating! My master loves that and whatever my master loves I love too.

JVoV -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/20/2015 8:42:47 PM)
I've had to set two slaves free, both after 4 and 5 years. The most recent was because his Mistress went up his nose. Addiction isn't something I can tolerate, and he knew this from the beginning. When he refused rehab, it was time to be done. The first still hurts the most, because I've never been so happy as I was with him. But he's truly bi, and needed things I couldn't give him. He has those now; a beautiful wife and an adorable son. But he was & is my brat, so still visits regularly. The wife thinks I'm his uncle.

FelineRanger -> RE: Sudden freedom (7/20/2015 9:59:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble Still going through it. After 18 years together I lost my Master in a car accident about a year and a half ago. Sometimes I forget he isn't just at work. Lost him, health insurance, my home, all income since I didn't work outside the home and of course the car was destroyed as well. One minute I want to take off to parts unknown..the next I want to start a business and sometimes I just want to forget everything and drown in tequila or go down and rescue every stray at the pound. that last one is how I acquired Gemma..the cat from Hell. People tell me that time cures.. So far..that's a no.. No it does not. Maybe you and I are the outliers on "recovering" from breakups because I feel much the same as you do. After a divorce, a broken engagement, and a third long term relationship that ended abruptly, I've come to the conclusion that none of it really heals. You just learn how to function with the pain just the same as you would if you had a physical injury. Most days, my bad back lets me get through a day with minimal intrusion. But every once in a while, it reminds me that I was in one hell of a car accident. Emotionally, I'm very much the same. It's not the uplifting cliche you may have wanted but it is the honest truth.

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