Just Out of Curiosity

Just Out of Curiosity (Full Version)

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CharlieN -> Just Out of Curiosity (7/20/2015 2:58:18 PM)
Do you guys ever find your dominant/submissive side crossing into your professional life? Like if you're dominant do you find it hard to follow orders or if you're submissive do you find it easy to follow orders? I know personal and professional usually aren't supposed to mix, but I am wondering.

NookieNotes -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/20/2015 3:03:51 PM)
No. I'm dominant, not an asshole. I know when to lead and when to step aside. I am also not dominant to everyone in my personal life. There is no reason to try to control or lead everyone, in my view. Just myself and those who give me that honor.

spellslave -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/20/2015 3:05:20 PM)
Not necessarily. Being a submissive-heavy switch does not make me more inclined to follow orders than a dominant. When I'm doing a job, I'll defer to whoever is my superior in that context [the workplace], be they someone who I would hypothetically submit to or not. I can lead a group of people who I might otherwise feel inclined to defer to, and follow someone who displays submissive characteristics. The workplace is not the place for BDSM, and so it is given no ground to tread on. A photographer once asked me if me being a submissive made me easy to direct as a model. I very frankly told him no, that I am not obeying him because I am submitting or have that desire, but because obeying the direction gets the best picture!

daniel1973 -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/20/2015 3:48:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CharlieN Do you guys ever find your dominant/submissive side crossing into your professional life? Like if you're dominant do you find it hard to follow orders or if you're submissive do you find it easy to follow orders? I know personal and professional usually aren't supposed to mix, but I am wondering. I find it quite easy. My master would never interfere with my professional life. I trust him with my life, so it isn't really a question. But then again he wants me to be able to pay the bills on my own.

Kaliko -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/20/2015 4:23:34 PM)
Yes. I make it a point to (try to) practice submission throughout all areas of my life. Only one person has authority over me, of course. But my submission extends outward, beyond our relationship, and with intent.

Wayward5oul -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/20/2015 7:34:46 PM)
No. I am dominant at work, and considered a leader and 'take charge' kind of person. I have actually had some of my male colleagues make comments about being intimidated by me. They would think that they had stumbled into a parallel universe if they had any idea that I had a submissive nature. Those that know me from both work and socially, and are aware of my preferences, have a hell of a time believing it. They are convinced that I am going to wake up one day and suddenly realize that I am a domme. But when I get to lay that part of me aside, and let down my defenses, it is like nothing else I have ever known.

RemoteUser -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/21/2015 8:26:37 PM)
My dominant traits go into my work life, my love life, every aspect of my life in fact, because for me, they are who I am. I'm not particularly pushy in general, but give me a reason and you won't make that mistake again. I'm not the type to bark orders, but if someone is doing something wrong in a way that could cause immediate and serious danger, you can count on me to take charge and tell people exactly what to do. It's not the sex that makes me do it, it's my personality. I'm fundamentally inclined to be responsible and use the abilities I have to improve anything I can. The idea of crossing over just makes me chuckle, like there are borders or invisible walls (fifty shades of Les Nessman). I know we are all expected to wear a thousand different masks for a thousand different situations, but if there's a way to leave the masks aside and just be ourselves, then that's the place where you'll find me.

DerangedUnit -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/21/2015 9:08:22 PM)
Who I am doesn't change(in that regard). Work, family, in the bedroom personality is personality. Ive had bosses tell me im a great worker because I only need to be told something once, I have a good work ethic, and I train others well. Both sides of the coin playing into different areas. Who I am does fluctuate greatly based on who I am spending the most time around. I start to inherit the characteristics of that person so im really picky about whom I allow around.

JVoV -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/21/2015 9:20:38 PM)
I have no problem taking direction that makes sense. I usually respond better to female superiors because they treat me like an asset, as opposed to a threat like most men have. But leadership comes naturally, as does taking pride in and finding ways to enjoy my work.

MariaB -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/22/2015 1:45:35 AM)
I have never been dominant within the workplace. Throughout my career I have needed the ability to lead and delegate; I don't see that as a dominant act, I see it as being comfortable leading a team. Many submissives lead within their workplace, that doesn't make them dominant either, it makes them skilled, confident and suitable for the job.

NookieNotes -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/22/2015 1:55:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RemoteUser My dominant traits go into my work life, my love life, every aspect of my life in fact, because for me, they are who I am. I'm not particularly pushy in general, but give me a reason and you won't make that mistake again. I'm not the type to bark orders, but if someone is doing something wrong in a way that could cause immediate and serious danger, you can count on me to take charge and tell people exactly what to do. It's not the sex that makes me do it, it's my personality. I'm fundamentally inclined to be responsible and use the abilities I have to improve anything I can. The idea of crossing over just makes me chuckle, like there are borders or invisible walls (fifty shades of Les Nessman). I know we are all expected to wear a thousand different masks for a thousand different situations, but if there's a way to leave the masks aside and just be ourselves, then that's the place where you'll find me. This is right and true for me. quote: ORIGINAL: CharlieN Like if you're dominant do you find it hard to follow orders or if you're submissive do you find it easy to follow orders? This is obstinance. quote: ORIGINAL: JVoV I have no problem taking direction that makes sense. I usually respond better to female superiors because they treat me like an asset, as opposed to a threat like most men have. But leadership comes naturally, as does taking pride in and finding ways to enjoy my work. Yes. quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB I have never been dominant within the workplace. Throughout my career I have needed the ability to lead and delegate; I don't see that as a dominant act, I see it as being comfortable leading a team. Many submissives lead within their workplace, that doesn't make them dominant either, it makes them skilled, confident and suitable for the job. Brilliant.

sweetieDA -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/22/2015 2:13:05 AM)
No, I'm sexually submissive, not socially. The only time I feel submissive around a person is if I'm attracted to them sexually, which doesn't happen since I'm married.

NeedAWhirlie -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/26/2015 12:43:09 PM)
This topic is one that has made frequent appearances in my thoughts across all jobs I have had. I've come to the acknowledgement that I have a "boss kink," meaning that somehow, in 99% of the cases, my mind finds itself engaged in a sexual BDSM fantasy with my current boss at the time. (That 1% is when I find my boss absolutely unattractive in any way- I texted some friends recently: "Finding New Problems, Moving up on Maslow's hierarchy: when your boss is asexual and you have a boss kink" LOL) So... I do have to ask myself periodically if I am in the job position I am because of some inherent submissive nature or if, in fact, I am seeking and finding submissive fulfillment in the workplace because i'm not getting what I need sexually. But at the same time, I have an anarchist, rebellious response to authority that I've had to outgrow. So, no, I don't find it easier to follow orders and in fact, I find myself having a "normal" social response to a person in authority attempting to be rudely aggressive or authoritative. I've had no issue discussing it directly and letting them know it was unprofessional or impolite, whatever the case was. I just think it's funny... to think that the night before I might have had my face shoved inside my owner's asshole and called terribly "impolite" names lol So overall, I would say no, there is no crossover in actuality. Just frequent fantasy flips in my mind that have nothing to do with my work reality lol That said, I also have wondered about others in positions of authority- do they have some secret fantasies that touch this edge of work/ home? I don't think i'm the only one and that's when I find myself in a reverie of a boss telling me to close his office door because he has to talk to me. lol

daniel1973 -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/26/2015 3:45:48 PM)
Yes it happens, all the time, but not like you would imagine (sub speaking). I've never been good at taking orders but since I do take them from my master I'm totally incapable of obeying other people. Unusable as employee, great as free entrepreneur. Comes in quite handy in business negotiations, all those alphas can sniff my sub genes which makes them think I'm easy prey. Edit: Dammit, call me a fool but I find this thing confusing, so bite me.

NorthernGent -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/27/2015 6:35:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CharlieN Do you guys ever find your dominant/submissive side crossing into your professional life? Like if you're dominant do you find it hard to follow orders or if you're submissive do you find it easy to follow orders? I know personal and professional usually aren't supposed to mix, but I am wondering. No. I abide by house rules. Don't like working for people, then either take it on the chin or go self-employed.

daniel1973 -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (7/27/2015 6:05:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NorthernGent No. I abide by house rules. Don't like working for people, then either take it on the chin or go self-employed. Or found your own company. We need lots and lots of them!

cloudboy -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (8/3/2015 8:44:52 PM)
NO.

TNDommeK -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (8/3/2015 11:08:13 PM)
NookieNotes said it perfectly, Im Dominant, not an asshole.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Just Out of Curiosity (8/4/2015 5:05:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CharlieN Do you guys ever find your dominant/submissive side crossing into your professional life? Like if you're dominant do you find it hard to follow orders or if you're submissive do you find it easy to follow orders? I know personal and professional usually aren't supposed to mix, but I am wondering. PHENOMENAL question!!!!!! I'm sub. If someone ever asked me to be Dom (which many have asked me to be)....one of us would crack a rib laughing our collective asses off (and likely require hospitalization). (It wouldn't be me). I am submissive....contrary to popular belief. I so desperately desire an owner. And some day I'll find one. In the meantime...I'll struggle along with the preconceived notions that I'm not.

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