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ORIGINAL: DerangedUnit

Until then...
most of the lifechanging events that have shaped and changed me over the years were single events that triggered a new perception. Obviously past experiences play a role. But one event can often shock the system into change. Maybe not as lifechanging as someone deciding to get dogpaw tramp stamps... but fundamental shifts in personality. For example until 3-4 years ago I could not feel pleasure.one day triggered the change that allowed that to evolve. its usually a lot harder for people to shift their personality though, most dont consciously do it... they just slowly evolve and remember how impulsive they used to be in their youth or something like that.

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I think there is a switch that is flipped that then sets of a multitude of processes, those processes are what people start to identify as change. Like with addiction, they start treating the drinking, stop drinking... I think the drinking is just another proccess caused by a switch that was flipped somewhere. Find that switch, you solve your problem. Granted I dont think it would work for most people, I doubt everyone analyzes every fragment of their life enough to recognize the thought that started the chain of events.... if people could there would probably be a big upsurge in thought police.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

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ORIGINAL: puella

Thanks for the input.... though, I certainly will NOT be 'telling him' to do anything, it's not that sort of show, doll. I really was hoping to keep it focused on what 'I' can do, if that makes any sense?

If you aren't being honest with him about your reactions, and about what you need to find this a positive experience, then you're lying.

Lying by omission, but still lying. Is that what he wants you to do? To lie to him? Is he that insecure that he can't hear that you are disliking what he's doing, and beginning to dread it?

Because eventually the truth will come out. Probably when you refuse to take another spanking and hard limit it. Or when you walk because you can't deal with it any more.

Really think that's the best way to handle it?

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ORIGINAL: puella

Firstly, I am completely new to this (well not D/s, just spanking). I am not a masochist and have never been spanked before now for anything other than punishment.

So ... my questions:

I totally love the headspace of otk and the physical dominance of it. The idea of spanking tickles the sweet spot in my crazy brain... but I am not sure how to deal with the pain? I am wondering... as you do it more and more does the pain become less difficult, do you/can you learn to bend it into pleasure, and how?

I have been surprised at my response of late. Though I do not crave being hurt, again I love the headspace of being spanked, and actually have found myself craving a bit more of the bite (if not the full on hardcore pain) and not just the lovely in between rubs and the after the pain tingles in my bottom. Do you think this will continue and become more prevalent (I hope so!) and is there anything I can do to hasten that along if it is possible?


Thanks!

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ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
Des, she was talking about not telling him, in responds to posts saying: "Tell him to do xyz".

I think she means that she isn't going to give such orders or instructions to her Dom... and especially not in the tone of 'telling him what to do', not at all that she won't talk to him about how she feels.