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chatting etiquette - 7/28/2015 5:59:39 PM

noorgasms4u

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/27/2015
Status: offline

I have found that a number of "dominant" women have their own ideas on protocol and etiquette when chatting on messenger, be it on this site or Yahoo or whatever. Question to the ladies:

What rules do you feel are appropriate when chatting?

(Some are obvious such as respect, courtesy, common sense.) I'd like to hear your opinions.

Post #: 1

RE: chatting etiquette - 7/28/2015 6:06:22 PM

RockaRolla

Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline

If you're the one initiating the conversation, have something to talk about. Don't ask someone to chat with you and force them to lead.

It's not a dominant/submission thing. Don't assume that because you're looking for a Mistress that she has to take control of every interaction from the get-go. It's a question of if you have nothing to say, why are you trying to chat?

PS. Any particular reason you have "Dominant" in quotes?

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to noorgasms4u)

Post #: 2

RE: chatting etiquette - 7/28/2015 7:01:56 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

Maybe you should have had "dominant women" in quotes instead of just "dominant"...because I'm far from certain that the chatting etiquette rules you're referring to are made by (and probably not being followed) by actual women. A lot of dudes pass themselves off as women when they're wanting some good cybering fun.

quote:

What rules do you feel are appropriate when chatting?

(Some are obvious such as respect, courtesy, common sense.) I'd like to hear your opinions.

Respect, courtesy, common sense, yes. I expect a pleasant conversation. If someone is behaving like the chat or chatroom is a dungeon and you're not into doing online roleplay...then DON'T. Go into another chatroom. Ask the "women" if they mind the two of you talking like you just met for coffee in a public place, if that's the kind of conversation you want.

I hate to say this but...a significant number of men have such poor online etiquette...that IMHO, they deserve having being reprimanded, ignored, blocked, etc.

Somewhere on Google there's an article on Netiquette. I'm tired and I don't want to look it up but if you're interested enough I'm sure you will find it. Even your showing someone a list of internet etiquette rules...won't change anyone's behavior if they prefer what they are already doing.

(in reply to noorgasms4u)

Post #: 3

RE: chatting etiquette - 8/11/2015 7:54:25 PM

noorgasms4u

Posts: 4
Joined: 7/27/2015
Status: offline

@Both responders, thank you for the thoughtful remarks. You make valid points.

@RockaRolla: "dominant" women = pretenders who are not truly dominant, or are just game players (usually the latter of the two).

I agree, come into the conversation with something to say. I always try to explain who I am, what I seek, the things I like about her profile, and what I seek from a relationship. I also ask her what she seeks.

Regarding kinks, I don't want to say too much at first, but feel the interests are important in making the relationship gel.

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)

Post #: 4

RE: chatting etiquette - 8/11/2015 11:54:11 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
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Hmmm, approach Me like you would in a normal setting. Make sure youve read my profile. Jeez thats a big one for me.
Just be normal, dont go all Castle Realm on me.

_____________________________

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to noorgasms4u)

Post #: 5

RE: chatting etiquette - 8/12/2015 12:15:37 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

I have a radical idea: Be yourself!

I know it's way out in left field but why "craft a persona", only to reveal your true self, later on?

Michael

< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 8/12/2015 12:16:01 AM >

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to TNDommeK)

Post #: 6

RE: chatting etiquette - 8/12/2015 12:32:16 AM

masmiss

Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

I've got to agree with Daddy Satyr on this one. Be yourself. Don't push to start talking about kinks unless she brings it up. I read your profile and the theme of it seems to be of your favorite kink: orgasm control.
Maybe you're attracting the women who believe if they play that up in conversation you'll be opening your wallet in no time. Just my two cents.

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to noorgasms4u)

Post #: 7

RE: chatting etiquette - 8/12/2015 1:13:39 AM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: masmiss

I've got to agree with Daddy Satyr on this one. ...

You almost make it sound painful?

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to masmiss)

Post #: 8

RE: chatting etiquette - 8/24/2015 9:08:42 AM

MzWhipplash

Posts: 79
Joined: 3/7/2011
From: Fetlife.com
Status: offline

Think CONSENT. Particularly if you are initiating contact, ask her permission to talk, don't ASSume anything. So don't lead... Not with with a kink story or any fetish or the pace.

Write as you woulf for job interview or college application, without being over familiar.

Start with my username, write in letter format and have something POLITE to discuss. Do NOT just talk at me.

Do not assume because I am an Owner that I wish to Own you or do anything but talk to you.

Pushy behaviour gets you blocked. Simple.

<b> Mz.Whipplash </b>
Owner of E.P
Dominant Sadist
British Lifestyle BDSM Mistress

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Post #: 9

RE: chatting etiquette - 10/30/2015 9:26:42 PM

captiveboy

Posts: 13
Joined: 9/25/2015
Status: offline

I certainly can't argue with what you just said!
You are very eloquent and articulate.
Males do need to be attentive!

(in reply to MzWhipplash)

Post #: 10

RE: chatting etiquette - 10/31/2015 2:40:16 AM

spellslave

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/16/2015
From: England
Status: offline

If you are the one doing the approaching, then expect and be prepared to lead the conversation in so far as introductions go.

Don't make said conversation entirely about kink. What are your vanilla interests - what books do you like, what do you do in your free time, what is your favourite type of coffee?

Don't call her a title right off the bat unless she requests it. Just be as respectful as you would when initiating conversation to any other stranger.

Your kinks won't make you worthwhile to her. She is not a fetish delivery system; just because your kinks align, does not necessarily mean that she wants to do those kinks with you.

_____________________________

Fetlife: spellslave

(in reply to noorgasms4u)

Post #: 11

RE: chatting etiquette - 10/31/2015 11:56:50 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Just because they don't want to dominate you means they aren't dominant.
For many of us, it's person specific. Meaning that unless you're the right person, with the right chemistry, we aren't going to engage with you in any manner beyond vanilla chat.

If you believe that all dominant women are anxious to whip every dude who passes by, then you're the fake. Because why would anyone want a relationship with a man who seriously believes that women aren't individual people in their own right. But simply interchangeable members of a hive mind?

Nobody is going to feel that you are exhibiting common courtesy when you make it obvious that you aren't interested in them as people, but simply as fetish delivery systems.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to spellslave)

Post #: 12

RE: chatting etiquette - 10/31/2015 5:52:59 PM

Godess2UseYouHard

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/14/2015
Status: offline

I expect someone to at least ask if I am interested in chatting. The guys who take an email reply as invite to send a chat request irritate. Why? Because usually i have 5 windows open and am rendering files in background if I open this site. Email I can address as I like, chat seems intrusive, unless I invite it, i.e. when I have time to focus on it.

If I agree to chat, it wont be a cyber sex/cyber domination conversation with someone I've never met. To start out acting like I'm there for your titilation will, again, irritate.

Dont ask questions that are clearly answered in my profile. I hate repeating myself. Thats why I address them in my profile.

Don't call me mistress, again, thats addressed in first paragraph of my profile. If you havent read it, why on earth are you initiating chat with me?

Dont expect me to cam with you, or demand cam, or wag your dick at me uninvited. A chat is a chat, not a fucking sex show. If i want to see it, or show it, I'll be sure to tell you of my own volition.

Be polite, respectful, and have something interesting to say.

Pretend this is a conversation with a stranger at starbucks. If it would be inappropriate to say in first 5 minutes there, its likely inappropriate to lead with here. Get to know me as a person, and let me get to know you as a person before you broach kink subjects.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: chatting etiquette - 10/31/2015 9:18:37 PM

masmiss

Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: masmiss

I've got to agree with Daddy Satyr on this one. ...

You almost make it sound painful?

Oh my, not at all. Sorry if it came off that way.

Michael

_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

Post #: 14

RE: chatting etiquette - 11/1/2015 10:27:06 AM

MistressMarie50

Posts: 11
Joined: 9/23/2015
Status: offline

I'm not really interested in chatting instant-message style. I'd prefer a cogent email. Chatting seems intrusive to me (as some others have said).

If I did chat, I'd echo what others have said:
- Please have something to say. Don't expect me to entertain you.
- Read my profile before asking to chat. Have something to say about that. (Same applies to initial email contact.)
- Be courteous.
- Don't send repetitive requests. No answer = No.

Marie

(in reply to masmiss)

Post #: 15

RE: chatting etiquette - 11/17/2015 2:59:02 PM

ATLBlackFemDom

Posts: 35
Joined: 4/27/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: noorgasms4u

I have found that a number of "dominant" women have their own ideas on protocol and etiquette when chatting on messenger, be it on this site or Yahoo or whatever. Question to the ladies:

What rules do you feel are appropriate when chatting?

(Some are obvious such as respect, courtesy, common sense.) I'd like to hear your opinions.

IMHO, your "some are obvious..." is the best.
If one cannot do the obvious, then they should not try to chat.

(in reply to noorgasms4u)

Post #: 16

RE: chatting etiquette - 11/17/2015 6:16:38 PM

FieryOpal

Posts: 2821
Joined: 12/8/2013
From: Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMarie50
I'm not really interested in chatting instant-message style. I'd prefer a cogent email. Chatting seems intrusive to me (as some others have said).

If I did chat, I'd echo what others have said:
- Please have something to say. Don't expect me to entertain you.
- Read my profile before asking to chat. Have something to say about that. (Same applies to initial email contact.)
- Be courteous.
- Don't send repetitive requests. No answer = No.

I normally don't do chats either. In fact, I've only chatted with an owned sub. That's often the biggest mistake a man will make on this site or on a vanilla dating site, the Wanna Chat? intro line (I hate it when chat boxes pop up when I'm right in the middle of clearing out my mailboxes or writing a message. So effing rude.), and a close second are the guys who immediately give out their Yahoo IDs, cell nos. and e-mail addresses, and some even have the audacity to want to cam right away. Over on OkCupid, giving out alternative contact info will get the user's account terminated instantly, for trying to "solicit" females to go outside of the safety filter of communicating on-site.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzWhipplash
Think CONSENT. Particularly if you are initiating contact, ask her permission to talk, don't ASSume anything. So don't lead... Not with with a kink story or any fetish or the pace.

Write as you woulf for job interview or college application, without being over familiar.

Start with my username, write in letter format and have something POLITE to discuss. Do NOT just talk at me.

Do not assume because I am an Owner that I wish to Own you or do anything but talk to you.

Pushy behaviour gets you blocked. Simple.

Exactly. Pushy behavior, repetitive requests for a reply, not taking NO for an answer, these all say NEEDY, GREEDY, and SELF-CENTERED.

More than once I've had a guy shoot himself in the foot because he either couldn't wait 48 hours for his message to get read, or started pleading for a response. (This has happened within a 2-4 hour period when I hadn't logged in for a couple of days!) The worst is when their insecurities really come to the forefront with the "Did I do/say something wrong?" as if they can't stand the thought of being ignored and/or rejected by a woman. What this accomplishes is setting off bells & whistles of a stalkerish-type of personality who should be avoided at all costs.

_____________________________

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu
There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Thoreau

(in reply to MistressMarie50)

Post #: 17

RE: chatting etiquette - 11/17/2015 6:53:54 PM

Baroana

Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressMarie50

I'm not really interested in chatting instant-message style. I'd prefer a cogent email. Chatting seems intrusive to me (as some others have said).

If I did chat, I'd echo what others have said:
- Please have something to say. Don't expect me to entertain you.
- Read my profile before asking to chat. Have something to say about that. (Same applies to initial email contact.)
- Be courteous.
- Don't send repetitive requests. No answer = No.

Marie

Agree with everything. I will add that personally I find IM chatting just plain unpleasant.

(in reply to MistressMarie50)

Post #: 18

RE: chatting etiquette - 11/17/2015 6:54:45 PM

littleclip

Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
Status: offline

if you are interested in her take the time to learn more about her read her profile and posts ask others how to best interact I have chatted for over a week and then drove 3 hours just to meet and see how she played to make sure I was ok with it. so take your time be patient and relax

_____________________________

currently owned by LadyAthena15805
i will always come to the call of those i love

(in reply to FieryOpal)

Post #: 19

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