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Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/30/2015 2:18:12 PM   
TheOppositeOfYou


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/21/2015
Status: offline 		Hello,

I would like to kindly ask for some advice and opinions from the Domme's in the community here please.

I have a condition called Gynecomastia which basically means that even though I am male, I have small female breasts that developed during puberty. I have a slim, non muscular body, with breasts. Behind closed doors I like having boobs because I enjoy feeling feminine sometimes, but when I am out in public I absolutely hate them and am so ashamed of them. So much so that I am now considering paying money for surgery to have them removed. However, I am now just starting to search for a Mistress that shares similar interests to me (forced feminisation & possibly AB play). Baring this in mind, I just wanted to ask your opinion on whether a Domme would possibly find it desirable to have a male sub/slave that looks feminine in this way? Or is having breasts just going too far?

Thank you very much in advance if you take the time to reply.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/30/2015 2:34:15 PM   
RockaRolla


Posts: 1153
Joined: 1/20/2014
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		One of my partners is genderqueer, and for a brief period in the past took hormones in an attempt to transition. He now presents as a male with strong feminine characteristics, including small breasts.

Someone is out there who is interested in what you have to offer, provided it's something you want to offer. Is this something you actually desire, or are you trying to make compromises based on what you have?

_____________________________

~Roxie

(in reply to TheOppositeOfYou)
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RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/30/2015 3:03:17 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOppositeOfYou
[...] I absolutely hate them and am so ashamed of them.


I strongly suggest that you see a therapist about that. Whichever path you choose, remember that you were born with the right to not be ashamed of yourself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RockaRolla
Someone is out there who is interested in what you have to offer, provided it's something you want to offer.


That's absolutely true. I know that I wanted to beat people up who told me that I'd find happiness in the end. But what do you know, I did.
(Master makes a huge exception right now and wants me to transmit to you his best wishes and to never give up.)

(in reply to TheOppositeOfYou)
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RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/30/2015 3:11:15 PM   
TheOppositeOfYou


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/21/2015
Status: offline 		Thank you very much for your reply, Roxie. This is something that I want to offer, and being feminised is something that I deeply desire. The problem is that there is a constant conflict within me about it. The masculine side of me absolutely hates the fact that I have breasts, whereas the feminine side loves it. I think that the only way to resolve the conflict is for me to meet a Woman that will accept that part of me and possibly even like it. Maybe then I could feel fully comfortable with it finally.

I really appreciate your reply. It is a great help for me to find out whether there are people out there that may possibly find my body attractive. Thank you so much.

(in reply to RockaRolla)
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RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/30/2015 3:14:27 PM   
TheOppositeOfYou


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/21/2015
Status: offline 		Many thanks to you and your Master for your input, Daniel.

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/30/2015 3:38:53 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		TOOY(sorry im lazy tonite with fillingout full names.)
Personally your situation/reality, would NOT be an issue with me, as a domme, I would have an issue with your self "hate", because I would be fighting that side of you, if I loved the feminised side, but after being feminized, or made to feel girlie, you go into a deep self hate mode afterwards for hours or days. it would be a problem quickly....and I would encourage you to get some help for your inward feelings...

I wish I could say just "get over it" and that you could, but that is a deeep seated issue that I dont feel I could ever help you to become fully happy with yourself.
I wish I could say, "embrace who you are and love yourself as you are", but as a whole, we arent allowed to..women and men, by society at large, of course often we are our own worst enemies.

Yes there are women out there who will find your body attractive, more than a few I would think:) you need to work on your confidence and self love, but I do know that THAT is very hard to come to terms with.
Good luck
seriously


_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to TheOppositeOfYou)
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RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/30/2015 6:00:48 PM   
TheOppositeOfYou


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/21/2015
Status: offline 		LucyLastic, thank you very much for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate your advice and wisdom. You're absolutely right about society not allowing us to love ourselves for who we are. I think that the main factor that's affected me is the fact that i've never met anyone that found my body attractive. I wont go in to detail, but people have always been very unkind about my body. I just feel that if I could find one person, a person that I loved with all my heart, a person that liked my body and found it attractive, then I would just simply cease caring about other peoples opinions and even my own because all that would matter is my Mistress's opinion. There is a conflict going on inside of me, but meeting the right person could easily help the side of me that loves my body to win the war once and for all. By confirming that such a Domme may actually exist, you are helping my confidence more than you know and giving me hope. Thank you so much.


(in reply to Lucylastic)
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RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/30/2015 7:34:42 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		:) you are more than welcome:)



_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to TheOppositeOfYou)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/30/2015 9:10:02 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheOppositeOfYou

Many thanks to you and your Master for your input, Daniel.


Your're very welcome! One more thought: I was pretty good at beating myself up over nothing much, but now that my master is the only one who has the right to determine whether I should be punished or not I am simply not allowed to do that any more.
The trick is that I'm so used to obeying him that he can just say: "Don't berate yourself!" - and I don't.

(in reply to TheOppositeOfYou)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/31/2015 3:18:06 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		It's very much going to depend on the Mistress.

Unfortunately, the BDSM community is quite like the rest of society, a high majority are still highly prejudiced against anyone who is different, and terrified of anything that smacks of gender bending.

But not ALL are like that, some of us embrace gender bending!

However, considering how ashamed you are of your condition, I caution you to be very careful in seeking someone who likes it. A really good domme MAY be able to help you accept this part of yourself. A bad one could make you feel even worse.

Make sure you know the person *very* well before you enter into a dynamic. I give this advice to all new persons entering the lifestyle, it goes double for you.



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RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/31/2015 4:04:23 AM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline 		It wouldn't be a problem for Me. I'm sure you'll be able to find a Domme(s) accepting of your physical situation. The one problem I foresee is you have a negative attitude toward yourself. Nobody wants that. Stand proud of the fact you have something UNIQUE to offer.

Good luck in your search.

< Message edited by MAINEiacMISTRESS -- 7/31/2015 4:05:37 AM >

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RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/31/2015 6:08:56 AM   
TheOppositeOfYou


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/21/2015
Status: offline 		ChatteParfaitt, many thanks for your very helpful advice.

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/31/2015 6:12:13 AM   
TheOppositeOfYou


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/21/2015
Status: offline 		MAINEiacMISTRESS, thanks very much for your input and advice. Much appreciated.

(BTW - I googled where you are from and it looks so beautiful. You are a very lucky lady)

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 7/31/2015 8:21:45 PM   
daniel1973


Posts: 243
Joined: 6/16/2015
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfait
Make sure you know the person *very* well before you enter into a dynamic.


That's the problem, isn't it.
In a sense it is obvious that before you dive in head first you should make sure that there is actually water in the pool.
But then again, you can't expect to know people that well before you have a dynamic nor can you expect them to know themselves either.

Master just told me that when I first stood in front of him, a grown up man, almost naked, expecting to be told to go on his knees and kiss his feet, hoping not to have to lick them - it felt weird for him too.


(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 8/1/2015 2:09:12 AM   
bislutdave


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/11/2015
Status: offline 		TheOppositeofYou first you need to be happy with yourself. If you like the way you are then great if not and are so unhappy then look into changing but remember once you have a surgery that's is the way you will be . there is always someone out there for everyone don't get in a big hurry ,sometimes it takes time to find them and longer to get to know and trust them. Be happy with yourself first then the rest will work it self out.

dave

(in reply to daniel1973)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 8/3/2015 1:33:51 PM   
TheOppositeOfYou


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/21/2015
Status: offline 		I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who made the effort to reply to me and give me their advice/opinions.

What I have learnt....

(1) It seems that any potential Dommes would find my feelings of self-loathing more unattractive than my actual body itself. I need to try my hardest to stop feeling so effected by what society says is right and wrong, and just embrace the fact that I am different and unique.

(2) Some Dommes may actually find my body attractive, but probably a very small amount of them who are specifically into feminising men. If the right Domme pops up then my body may turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

(3) I should proceed with caution..... more so than other subs should.

So to summarize.....

There is hope! My Mistress is out there somewhere. I will continue searching for her.

I should focus more on the positive sides of being me. I am extremely cute and have beautiful soft girly skin!

:)

(in reply to bislutdave)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Desperately in need of some advice please - 8/3/2015 3:02:42 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Lovely response. It's always nice when someone takes the time to come back and respond to advice given. Continue showing that level of good manners and caring, you will do just fine.

Best, CP

_____________________________



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Profile   Post #: 17
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