quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Unfortunately, issues of self-esteem are never that black and white.

A person's esteem is never derived solely from body image, because it is not derived from one thing about ourselves, but many things.

One major barometer of good self-esteem is: How much is determined by the internal, and how much form the external?

When all your self-esteem is derived from the external: how you look (which of course includes body image), what car you drive, how expensive your clothes are, what others think about you, etc. then you have a far greater chance of having huge esteem issues throughout your life. This is b/c our lives are always subject to change, and often w/o warning. What if you get old and lose your looks? (It happens to all of us, eventually.) What if you lose your good job and can't afford a flash car or pricey clothes? These things happen.

But if your self-esteem is determined by internal things, that is, your own personal sense of worth, those things are far less subject to change over time.

Your personal sense of worth is determined, in part, by how much you like yourself. By seeing not just your weak points but by embracing your strong points. With me, for instance, it would be my intelligence, my boldness, my quick decision making, and my fine sense of fair play. I am working on becoming a kinder, gentler person, so I can like myself even more!

In another post I talked about getting your happiness from your internal you, and you responded with not understanding that concept.

Developing good internal esteem is one of the things you do to have *inner* happiness. That is, happiness that external forces can't take away.