RE: Differences between male and female subs

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RE: Differences between male and female subs - 8/7/2015 6:40:24 AM

Mawine

Posts: 16
Joined: 5/17/2015
Status: offline

I'm sort of late to this but:

I'm a sub with preference for women but open to either.

When I was new I came to things sideways. Myself and a former partner began experimenting in the bedroom due to some deeper problems. Eventually, we did explore bondage and it kind of stuck with me. I sought out information on bondage and particularly how to be safe. Sadly, I'm the person who researches new phones for a month before upgrading so it explains why I researched as much as I could. When I met my first dominant partner she was a good few years older than me and I met her through a munch. She was clever in placing boundaries that made it clear that the relationship wasn't just sexual. So for example my ankles were cuffed whilst we ate dinner together at her house (dinner that I had made and then washed up). I think she had obviously experience sub frenzy because I think had I been offered it I'd have wanted to be hooded, hogtied and chained. I'm lucky. VERY lucky. I'm aware of that. I think strong boundaries really help to limit sub frenzy: 'you've got to experience x and be comfortable with x before we move on to trying y' or 'let try an hour a day for a week rather than a whole day at once'.

I do happen to think that the number of young 'fin dommes' that appear speak to the idea that men are interested in anyone who will dominate them.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

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Post #: 21

RE: Differences between male and female subs - 8/7/2015 7:35:17 AM

JVoV

Posts: 3664
Joined: 3/9/2015
Status: offline

I'm a male Dominant, with a strong preference for male submssives.

I personally enjoy the frenzy, both theirs and mine. Even if the actions during play are exactly the same as with prior partners, the reactions are rarely duplicated if they're real.

Each sub is an entirely new playground. A new body to learn and manipulate. A new challenge on many levels. That's enough to get worked up about for me, if there already seems to be a good connection and a solid dialogue in place.

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RE: Differences between male and female subs - 8/7/2015 8:26:23 AM

littleladybug

Posts: 1082
Joined: 5/30/2013
Status: offline

When I first was introduced to my then-local scene, I was fortunate to have people around me to help keep me grounded. I'm sure I had the "wow, this is cool and wonderful" reaction, but that's not frenzy as I understand it.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

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Post #: 23

RE: Differences between male and female subs - 8/7/2015 11:07:16 AM

bislutdave

Posts: 15
Joined: 1/11/2015
Status: offline

I believe when someone finds a new and rewarding thing be it sub domme we crave for more and can go overboard. Then you run the chance of burn out with the person or with what you are doing. I found myself like this in my late 20s I meet a lady with a domme nature and we started exploring this lifestyle , but got so caught up it started to consume are life to the point we both had to walk away. Since then I have been more cautious and slower about this. I learned this lesson and try to apply it in most aspects of life. Over doing anything can spoil something that is sweet and special

dave

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

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Post #: 24

RE: Differences between male and female subs - 8/8/2015 9:16:43 PM

Wayward5oul

Posts: 3314
Joined: 11/9/2014
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Thank you for your reply, it's very helpful.

Not very many admit to having sub frenzy, so I appreciate the candor.

Oh I had it and I knew I did. I was very aware that it was happening, very aware of how reckless I was becoming, but it didn't seem to matter.

I initially approached this lifestyle from an educational standpoint; that is how I have always approached things in my life and this was no different. I began researching on the internet, started getting a feel for what would pique my interest, then i started going to munches and meeting people there and learning. I didn't get involved with anyone right off, though there were opportunities. I was trying to be smart and not be like so many girls that I had read about that made very stupid mistakes. Then I started experimenting, and came across the dom I referred to earlier. Once I became active, the frenzy kicked in. I knew it was happening but what I was feeling became very overwhelming, and logic went out the window.

It didn't last too long, and I am pretty happy with the choices that I have made since then. But during that time period there was definitely chaos within my system. I frankly count myself lucky that I didn't get myself into any worse situations that I did. And I was lucky to have my friend. I will always be grateful to him for that, even though we don't talk anymore.

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Post #: 25

RE: Differences between male and female subs - 8/8/2015 9:32:52 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Female sub and bottom.

And no sub frenzy. I am capable of wanting to eat a half gallon of ice cream for dinner while having the capabilities of overruling that desire and eating chicken and broccoli instead.

Same with kink. My brain overrules my desires. But I fell in love with him prior to playing, so I can't blame frenzy for entering into the relationship. Now as to how we handle me wanting stuff? I tell him what I want to try and he decides if he's interested in that, if he wants to take the time to learn those specific skills, and if he thinks it's good for me or not. Some stuff he's refused to do, others he's researched and tried once he feels competent at it. And there are things I really like that very rarely happen because after trying them, his response has been 'meh'.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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Post #: 26

RE: Differences between male and female subs - 8/8/2015 11:24:37 PM

DaddySatyr

Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline

Simple answer: Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina (with apologies to "Kindergarten Cop")

Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to DesFIP)

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Post #: 27

RE: Differences between male and female subs - 8/9/2015 4:16:43 AM

CapitanSpavento

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/8/2015
Status: offline

Male Dominant here. Generally prefer females but don't rule anyone out and have interacted with most of the gender spectrum.

I have had a number of subs/slaves over the years but don't recall the "sub frenzy" from any of them. I enjoy working with newbies as much as experienced people. That said, I never jump in head first with anyone and am quite selective with who I engage with. I wouldn't choose a submissive, male, female or otherwise, who I felt was overly eager to a point that they would be in a frenzy.

(in reply to DaddySatyr)

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Post #: 28