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DaddySatyr -> RE: Abandoning Pets/Subs?.. (8/9/2015 8:40:40 PM)
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We had quite a raucous thread, here, a little while back about the responsibilities of a dominant to a submissive that they wish to release.
I believe that there are certain responsibilities, to be sure but I also believe that a submissive isn't (or shouldn't be) helpless to the rest of the world.
What does Michael mean?
Well, I'm sure there are dominants that want to be as in control of a submissive as is possible. Some don't want their submissives working outside the home and that's fine. However, if I have a submissive that gives up their job, outside the home, it is my responsibility to make sure that they have another job in place before I actually release them.
Here's another however: When I tell that submissive that they have three months to find a job and three months after that to be out of the house, it is NOT my responsibility to take them by the hand to job interviews or look through the want ads for them. Can she ask me for a ride to a job interview because her car is in the shop? Sure. That's different.
I guess, what I'm trying to say is that there are circumstances but there also has to be balance. If I'm releasing a submissive, it might just be because she isn't working, outside the home. In these unstable economic times, that isn't highly likely but there are limits to everything.
Again, there are circumstances. if I find out that my lady is having a "secret relationship" behind my back, she'll be lucky to have a week to get out of my house. That kind of betrayal doesn't engender a sense of continued responsibility (to me, anyway).
As far as "how the process starts"? Well, again; that's going to be different for different people. I had an example, years ago, where a lady with whom I was involved was in a horrendous job that made her so unhappy that it started affecting our relationship. I kept saying: "You need another job" (She's got two Master's Degrees. A career change is not an impossible goal). She kept dragging her feet and dragging her feet and I kept saying that she needed to get on the ball.
The new boss that was making her job miserable eventually set his sights on her (something I'd warned her of, from the start because she had been with the company for so long and this new guy was a control freak that was trying to compartmentalize everything with him, being the only one knowing all the ins and outs, hoping to make himself "unfireable").
Eventually, my mantra changed to: "You need to speak to a labor lawyer and look for a new job."
Months later (seven of them), she was written up (for the first time in 13 years with the company) for one of her people making a mistake on a form on a day when she wasn't even there. The wording of the write up was: "_____________ continues to ..." On a first "offense", the wording was very plain, what they were trying to do.
It was clear that she had been targeted for termination by this asshole but her inaction had left us both exposed. She kept her job and the asshole wound up being fired once she finally stood up for herself to the owner of the company (and hired a lawyer that the company still doesn't know about), but our relationship never recovered.
Her lack of taking direction from me (non-submission) put us in a precarious position and lo and behold, as soon as she did what I had been asking of her, things turned around.
That's what started it for me; lack of submission to a simple suggestion of "find another job" and "talk to a lawyer".
Michael
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