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RE: Advertising - 8/11/2015 7:02:20 PM

Kaliko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

I've often heard the comment put out there that a person has to make themselves stand out, to get noticed, to in turn find a partner. This always makes me cringe, because it seems to devalue who the person is in the first place.

I'm curious about the general consensus, if there is one on this matter - is it not enough, to be enough?

No, I don't think a person has to stand out, necessarily. A person just needs to stand out to the right person. I don't think that requires much more effort than doing whatever one is comfortable with.

(in reply to RemoteUser)

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RE: Advertising - 8/11/2015 7:03:47 PM

Kaliko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

For quite a long time, now, I have believed that the way relationships in this lifestyle works (in very general terms) is that the dominant just kind of goes about their lives; hopefully, trying to be the best person they can be on a day-to-day basis.

The submissive kind of takes notice of the "cut of the dominant's jib" and that is where the ball starts rolling.

If you (RU) were to include some form of my insistence about self-improvement, I think we're, essentially, on the same page. If I may?

"Is it good enough for a person to just be the best person they can be? Is that enough?"

My answer becomes: "For the right person/people, yes."

Michael

I agree with everything here.

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Post #: 22

RE: Advertising - 8/14/2015 11:58:00 AM

WickedestDesires

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A disparity exists online between men and women. If you are man then you have to stand out. People go about that in a multitude of ways eg from cock shots (don’t do them) to copy pasted one paragraph bad porn mails where a declaration of total ownership is decreed and the promise of pulling them across the floor before thrashing them witless with a toaster.

If a profile is not barren, bereft, devoid, wanting (wanton is different smiles) etc of everything. Then a simple hello will get you a response, at least of equal measure. And people should take it from there.

Women generally have to do less. (bit pictures do nothing for me includes women). Well they have to fend off a plethora of the above I guess.

A profile presenting itself with no text, bit pictures, memes does nothing for me and many of my kind. Well, thee grow weary after the first few thousand.

Few people are apparent; all they can ever be etc. As one or two replies have suggested. You can invent yourself as anyone online, and many do.

(in reply to seekingreality)

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Post #: 23

RE: Advertising - 8/15/2015 4:55:48 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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Compare this to looking for a job. Your resume needs to be tailored to the job, talking first about the skills and experience that will be used on this job, while listing the other skills and experience you have towards the bottom.

Let's say you get invited for an interview. Planning to show up in stained clothing, unwashed? Or would you not dress up appropriately for the interview.

Same here. If you want someone's attention, then there needs to be something in your email and profile that grabs their attention in the right way for what they're looking for.

If you make it to a meet, spending all your time on Tinder isn't going to get you a second date. Neither will showing up drunk or unwashed.

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Post #: 24

RE: Advertising - 8/16/2015 1:20:21 AM

MariaB

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We shouldn't talk about ego like its a bad thing. Our ego is a part of us (The Freudian definition of “ego” is, “the most central part of the mind, which mediates with one’s surroundings.”) and the window of our world.

An over inflated ego or a negative ego reflects our insecure or emotional selves. My ego is presently in a negative state and because it is, my profile has been scrubbed clean and I merely tell people to 'move along...nothing here'. When my life felt more positive I was willing to say a lot more about myself in my profile. Advertising ones happiness and positivity is easy when you are feeling happy and positive.

< Message edited by MariaB -- 8/16/2015 2:05:49 AM >

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Post #: 25

RE: Advertising - 8/16/2015 10:05:09 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser

I've often heard the comment put out there that a person has to make themselves stand out, to get noticed, to in turn find a partner. This always makes me cringe, because it seems to devalue who the person is in the first place.

I'm curious about the general consensus, if there is one on this matter - is it not enough, to be enough?

From my observations in life, I believe most everyone has been conditioned to dress for the impression it makes. My avatar is a picture of me in suit, not shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. The same is true with how you present your personality... we have been conditioned to "put our best foot forward".

So with the understanding that most all of us already do these things, why not do your best job at it? I once explained to my band that if we appeared on stage with a live elephant, it would draw attention to us. There are many bands that use gimmicks to stand out and get noticed.,, many are just a flash in the pan though. The point is that you have to have substance as well if you want to retain your audience after they notice your gimmick.

So I don't feel that an attention-getting gimmick devalues someone if they had substance to begin with in the first place.

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Post #: 26

RE: Advertising - 8/18/2015 11:24:23 AM

crumpets

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Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
My avatar is a picture of me in suit, not shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. The same is true with how you present your personality... we have been conditioned to "put our best foot forward".

I didn't look if the OP is male or female, but if the OP is male, then there's really nothing he can realistically do to stand out positively, given the hundred to one ratio of kinkster males to females.

In the interest of science, I will let it be known that I have run MANY experiements here, and basically, to stand out as a female, you just need to have "F" in the profile instead of "M". In fact, even if you have "PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME" in an "F" profile, you STILL will be inundated with mail, from people thousands of miles away, to boot. It's just crazy for the women (I feel for them).

For the men, it's just the opposite. You can stand out, for sure, by posting a cock shot, and you can stand out by posting a profile picture of your Ferrari, or your pool or your favorite chick-magnet pooch, but, in the end, you just won't stand out, at all.

There's NOTHING you can do, to stand out. Period.

Having said that, you can STILL have an erudite and interesting profile, and you can still respond to unsolicitied requests intelligently and with emotion and feeling and compassion - but - if you're waiting for the ladies to contact you in droves, it just 'ain't gonna happen simply because you have that ugly "M" in your profile.

The way most men seem to try to overcome that handicap is by spamming every "F" profile within five hundred miles, which might work, but which is a whole 'lotta effort to read five hundred profiles and to respond to each one with intelligent discourse accordingly.

The better way to overcome that handicap is to simple give up on the electronic means of contact, and get your body out into the crowd, such as at a munch or dungeon event. You'll still have the same problem, but, you've now improved your odds from about a hundred to one to something like only fifty to one or even twenty to one if you're tall, dark, and handsome and you carry yourself well in person.

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Post #: 27

RE: Advertising - 8/18/2015 1:26:17 PM

Kana

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Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

I didn't look if the OP is male or female, but if the OP is male, then there's really nothing he can realistically do to stand out positively, given the hundred to one ratio of kinkster males to females.

My profile pic says otherwise.

Of course it's advertising.
Just like so much else in life. We go through the day and sell ourselves in a hundred different ways everyday, whether a job interview or interacting with a work superior or simply to get decent service in a restaurant.
How we dress, how we act, how we interact, that's all advertising.
As is almost all social interaction.

As for standing out, hmmmmmm. My experience says that the one thing women find most attractive is confidence.
Not being overbearing. Not being an ass, but rather a man with certainty and surety.
In a wishy-washy world, they tend to stand out.

I'll say one thing re this-if you stand out, better be prepared to take the shots the come with it.
Cuz people, they gonna take em.

Et tu, brute?

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Post #: 28