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LadyPact -> RE: Where the REAL finsubs and SDs at?? (10/4/2015 2:59:04 AM)
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ORIGINAL: sweetieDA
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ORIGINAL: NookieNotes
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ORIGINAL: sweetieDA
There's no such thing as a real finsub.
No submissive wants to give a Dom/me money for nothing.
No submissive wants to pay to be dominated.
They don't know you, they don't like you. Stop trying to leach off them.
So, I have this young man strongly pursuing me, who keeps asking to do my chores, rub my feet, and pay me.
Because as he puts it, "I like giving a dominant my money."
I told him, "I'm not a pro. I do what I do if I like you."
He says, "If you like me, can I pay you? Or take you shopping. I can take you shopping and pay."
So, yeah. Some submissives want to pay to be dominated.
Let me clarify my meaning.
Are there submissives who pay for Dommes? Yes. Are there submissives who enjoy paying for Dommes when they like that Domme and they like activities, conversations and other things they do with and for that Domme? Yes.
But are there submissives whose only fetish is to find a completely unknown person online and give them money, with no other interaction or hope of interaction? i.e. an actual sexual fetish for handing over money in a completely depersonalised way?
No, I don't believe that there are. And in 14 years on the scene, I have never met one, heard of one or seen one. Which is why I say such a person is a myth.
Now, to continue qualifying - there are a great many people who will pay a Domme a tribute *in the hope of getting to know her better*. But that is not a finsub, since their real motivation is not handing over cash but establishing a relationship of some sort.
There are also a great many people who enjoy pleasing a particular Dom/me with cash or gifts - I am one of them. I give all my money to my Master and he decides how it is spent. But my real motivation and point of pleasure is not the handing over of cash, it is the wider M/s relationship, feelings of control, trust, etc.
In the example you gave, you describe a submissive with a range of interests - perhaps some foot fetishism, going shopping with you, he wants you to like him, etc. I'm no expert and I don't know this person, but it would seem to me that this is someone who enjoys pleasing a particular person that he knows and that form of pleasing includes giving money. But it is not the giving of money that excites him per se, it is the pleasing you and being generally submissive around you that he most enjoys. If your interaction was limited to an impersonal message when he sent cash, I very much doubt that he would want to do it.
I would define a finsub as a person with a sexual preference for giving money to a Dominant. A person who gets sexual arousal from such an activity and, in the technical sense of a fetish, a person who needs such interaction in order to achieve sexual satisfaction.
If you have a different definition, then by all means elaborate for the purposes of illumination on the subject.
Sorry for the multiple quotes. I did it for context.
I can assure you that I have met, in person, folks from the /s side of the slash who absolutely do have this fetish. I don't know if I would say "need" regarding it. I would say prefer. I can also attest to the fact that he got... Ummmm... Excited just talking about it.
Real sweetheart of a guy. He'd have lined every step she walked with hundred dollar bills under her feet if he had the ability. All he wanted was the pleasure of buying her things and giving her money to make her smile. It would put him on cloud nine.
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