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Insight for a first scene. - 8/18/2015 1:36:27 PM

NotNutsReally

Posts: 53
Joined: 10/6/2006
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Hi everyone, I have a question. I'm preparing to do my first scene as a top with a great woman I've recently started seeing. She is interested in exploring kink but would likely label herself vanilla/adventurous.

We've talked quite a bit, I have some sense of what she likes. I'm having her fill out wone of those kink checklists just so I can get a sense of what will be too tame or too much.

I think the scene will run about 2 hours. basically it'll be her serving us some wine and listening to some music, some light spanking & bondage.

I have a few issues that I need advice on. I'm a man, and I'm a sub. I know what turns my crank subbing but I could use some insite from a womans perspective.

Also I'm concerned on some of the details. We will be in my appartment. What are some nice touches I can do to make it nice for her. I'm sure I'll get some candles going. Maybe invest in a dimmer lamp but if you have any other ideas that would be great.

Any ideas would be appriciated,
Thanks
NotNutsReally

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RE: Insight for a first scene. - 8/18/2015 3:20:18 PM

spellslave

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Communicate always and often. Ask her if she is enjoying it, or what could be done to make it better. And don't be afraid to suggest ways that she could improve what she is doing.

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RE: Insight for a first scene. - 8/18/2015 4:07:37 PM

IsDom

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My two cents: leave the wine out of it.

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RE: Insight for a first scene. - 8/18/2015 6:32:42 PM

NotNutsReally

Posts: 53
Joined: 10/6/2006
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@IsDom I agree, in part, about leaving the wine out. I think it would be wise to keep our senses on us 100%. On the other hand am I wrong that a bottle of wine adds some romance?

What can I do that might be equally romantic/trditional, that would be less intoxication?

Again thank you all for your input.
NNR

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RE: Insight for a first scene. - 8/18/2015 9:41:19 PM

RockaRolla

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From: South Florida
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I'll agree to keep the wine out. It's your first scene, and there's nothing romantic about one of you getting carried away and causing the other one harm.
Maybe save it for when/if you two establish some familiarity, but I'd still leave alcohol out of scenes entirely.

As for adding romance, the same answer you've been given above applies. Communicate with her.

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RE: Insight for a first scene. - 8/21/2015 2:03:17 PM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Don't have any expectations. Try things, talk about how it makes her feel, good, bad or indifferent. But don't expect it to last a set period of time. Because if you have expectations and they aren't met, she will sense your disappointment and she's going to feel bad enough to begin with if she needs to stop it early. You not being able to roll with the punches could well convince her that she never wants to try it again.

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