RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute?

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DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (8/27/2015 2:01:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS I'd be eaten like a Twinkie Thank you! I'm attractive and slender and my body hair is a little bit like a fuzz and I do look younger than I am. Which is old enough to have eaten shark fin soup more than once :-)

Wayward5oul -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (8/29/2015 1:00:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: FindMeImLost Well thank you Sirs, I appreciate the advice. Tyler, are you forgetting which account to post from? Well shit. And I was being all nice and helpful to a 'newbie'. Should have known better.

Thegunnysez -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (8/29/2015 1:29:38 PM)
quote: Well shit. And I was being all nice and helpful to a 'newbie'. Should have known better. We all hope this unfortunate incident will not alter your addiction to random acts of kindness.

MarcEsadrian -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (8/29/2015 2:03:38 PM)
I'm not what one would call a "dom," but yes, I have required material offerings before. quote: I personally am seeking a Mistress. But am obviously having a hard time understanding why the monetary gifting is mandatory. That all depends—and this is really the key—upon who and what you're actually dealing with on the other end. Assuming you're not speaking with a garden variety scammer or a jaded twenty-something looking for a kinky sugaring gig, and that, instead, you're actually speaking of someone who is serious about being a master (or mistress), monetary proxies of the submissive party's intent make sense. We masters and mistresses encounter a substantial amount of admirers with only one foot in the water, so to speak. Those who court us often talk a good game, but come up lacking by hardly making any real investments of time and energy. To many, this is really just supposed to be about kinky fun and role playing, or finding otherwise normal relationships with a dash of perversity. Unfortunately, some have a hard time coming clean with their feelings on that. They are attracted to the image of a master or mistress, but don't necessarily look the life of one in the eye. They may be confused or willfully deceitful about their intentions, of just basically clueless. It's a mixed bag. To skip ahead a little and weed out the half-hearted, a monetary or otherwise worldly representation of their sincerity can make sense. There are many other ways of vetting someone, of course, and they can be used in conjunction, but trials of material sacrifice, of time and energy—which money inherently represents—are quick litmus tests. Whatever the task, it should hurt a little. It should make the individual extend a bit beyond his or her comfort zones. The demand for money hits most who think they have the potential to serve where they really live; it can quickly uncover an inherent selfishness or mistrust in someone, and those with such qualities are the ones who often bristle the most over the idea of having to offer something up in the material realm as a test of sincerity. On the flipside, beware of those who make this a cynical business model online. There are a fair share of "financial dommes" who have cute little web forms one needs to fill out, along with a price tag, before even speaking with them. In my mind, tests of devotion should come after devotion is even established as an option, which means communication of some sort should happen first. In short: Opening Communication --> Establishing Base Compatibility --> Trial

DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/1/2015 12:52:22 PM)
"They may be confused or willfully deceitful about their intentions, of just basically clueless. It's a mixed bag. To skip ahead a little and weed out the half-hearted, a monetary or otherwise worldly representation of their sincerity can make sense." In my case that has completely ruined it. "If you like me so much you can give me some money too, not too much just so." I did it and then I hated myself for it. "If you don't like someone and you want them to steer clear of you ask them for money." German saying or Hungarian, your choice. My tribute to my master was that he always botched my orgasms. I kept coming back to him in the hope to get a nice one one day, thinking that it would be the best one on earth. When he finally found me worthy, I can tell you I've never experienced anything like that before.

DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/1/2015 4:33:57 PM)
"There are many other ways of vetting someone, of course, and they can be used in conjunction, but trials of material sacrifice, of time and energy—which money inherently represents—are quick litmus tests. Whatever the task, it should hurt a little." Bollocks! Define "hurt"! Sitting around in the dark because you can't pay the electricity bill? Not being able to buy that Mercedes just this week? Money absolutely sucks as a means to gauge people's intentions unless they're absolutely obsessed with it. Which is, of course, something one can specialize in.

epiphiny43 -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/1/2015 5:20:03 PM)
My lifetime impressions of people who monetize emotional or personal relationships leads me to regard it as a major red flag. "Thanks for the warning, see ya!" Current market analysis of Everything and the male sub/Domme ratio makes monetization by many unavoidable. Those keeping close notes on the value of every exchange of service provided or granted are doing this minus the $ signs, IMHO. One of the best submissive assessment measures I've heard about was related by a quite 'successful' Dom in the community. On first meeting, after the lady had settled in a chair (normally a table at some public informal food establishment) he'd ask her to sit in a different chair. 'Submissive' women simply did it. All others were now only a single other mistake away from being dismissed. "Why?" wasn't a submissive answer, but he'd explore further, sometimes. He simply didn't have time or patience for people who weren't actually of a submissive makeup. Some dominants want the perfect servant. Some don't mind training one. Some enjoy the contest for dominance. Some like partners who share particular sexual kinks and proclivities apart from a basic partnership. YMMV?

DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/1/2015 7:23:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: epiphiny43 One of the best submissive assessment measures I've heard about was related by a quite 'successful' Dom in the community. On first meeting, after the lady had settled in a chair (normally a table at some public informal food establishment) he'd ask her to sit in a different chair. 'Submissive' women simply did it. Ah, yes and no. That sounds again like what I hate to hear about that "submissives" submit to "dominants" and the subs have to compete for the doms in some way. But, when someone tells you to sit in that chair over there and you just do it and ask yourself afterwards why you did it, then you're in for him/her and you can only ask your good fortune to let them treat you like the best slave ever (for which you have to work, of course) or completely ignore you.

DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/1/2015 8:06:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: epiphiny43 Some dominants want the perfect servant. Some don't mind training one. Some understand that nobody is perfect and certainly hasn't been born to serve them but they can train us because we're willing to obey and be punished or rewarded if needs be according to our dominants' judgment. That's exactly how you can tell that others want $$$, housecleaning service for free and whatnot and are not willing to give anything in return because they suffer from the delusion that hurting and exploiting people is a profession like any other. Edit: For that statement alone, said my master (who just a few hours ago made me go on my knees and lick the concrete in front of my house) I will treat you like a prince for a week.

dreamlady -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/1/2015 11:56:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DannyIsNotWelcom quote: ORIGINAL: epiphiny43 One of the best submissive assessment measures I've heard about was related by a quite 'successful' Dom in the community. On first meeting, after the lady had settled in a chair (normally a table at some public informal food establishment) he'd ask her to sit in a different chair. 'Submissive' women simply did it. Ah, yes and no. That sounds again like what I hate to hear about that "submissives" submit to "dominants" and the subs have to compete for the doms in some way. But, when someone tells you to sit in that chair over there and you just do it and ask yourself afterwards why you did it, then you're in for him/her and you can only ask your good fortune to let them treat you like the best slave ever (for which you have to work, of course) or completely ignore you. Going off topic, but here's my 2 cents. No and no. This "assessment" of sorts or any other involving how suggestible or responsive a person is, is not what I would consider to be a measure of submission. It is, however, a revealing assessment of how low the level of dominance is in a Dominant who relies on using this type of test as a measuring stick. Let me preface this by saying that I don't seek anybody who is such a people-pleaser that he would act mindlessly submissive. I only want him to desire to please me, and to be submissive to me, not to other persons in whom he is not invested emotionally or related to (and even then, it would depend. . .). You could get a Dominant to switch chairs to move in closer to you, to invite greater intimacy, or to hold a more private conversation. This wouldn't make him or her less Dominant, especially in a public setting on a first meet before a tentative D/s relationship has been mutually established. (Or one of you could be from Missouri where it is taboo to sit with your back facing the door. . . . [:D]) Then there are societal niceties where a lady might ask a gentleman to get her another drink, or norms where a man displays courtesy. Not a measure of his dominance or submission -- just one of whether he has any class in public. I'll bet this 'successful' Dom doesn't even bother to get up and pull out a chair for a lady, particularly a 'submissive' one. Nonetheless, I get what epiphiny is saying, and this is the approach that someone would take who's looking to train an easily trainable dog, and even dogs won't accept the authority of just any Master. quote: ORIGINAL: DannyIsNotWelcom quote: ORIGINAL: epiphiny43 Some dominants want the perfect servant. Some don't mind training one. Some understand that nobody is perfect and certainly hasn't been born to serve them but they can train us because we're willing to obey and be punished or rewarded if needs be according to our dominants' judgment. And then there are Dominants who aren't seeking a servant, but a partner-mate instead, or who aren't into punishment dynamics per se and prefer (creative) discipline and correction along with rewarding desirable behavior. There was a time when I assumed all submissive types have to be trained, but that's probably because I was always of the opinion that ALL men need to be trained to be receptive to a woman's needs. Period. With a servant or more service-oriented sub, obedience training may be obligatory. When you hire an inexperienced worker, there will invariably be on-the-job training. Sometimes more goes into tailored untraining/retraining, where you have to break a person of ingrained habit patterns that don't serve your purposes. I'm going to make a distinction here between training and teaching. I am not a trainer, and that isn't my domination/leadership style whatsoever. I teach and guide, I don't train. Further, any sub who requires constant training exercises in the form of obedience training, isn't the kind of sub I would want. (And if I hired a servant or employee whom I had to continually oversee in order to ensure the acceptable performance of his or her duties, that individual would soon find himself or herself replaced by another with higher aptitude and greater potential for excellence.) DreamLady

DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/2/2015 7:09:41 PM)
Well let me put it this way: there is this type of dominant who contradict themselves with every word they say and then want someone to adore them for it. No problem. Just don't expect me to not say that you're not making any sense or that I'm not sick and tired of pointing out why.

dreamlady -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/2/2015 7:44:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DannyIsNotWelcom Well let me put it this way: there is this type of dominant who contradict themselves with every word they say and then want someone to adore them for it. No problem. Just don't expect me to not say that you're not making any sense or that I'm not sick and tired of pointing out why. If your reply was directed to my post right above yours, then you're not making any sense on this thread or any other thread because I don't see what/where you have been pointing out to me, or to others, or to any number of Dominants that you would just throw your hands up in despair, or hang your head, or throw in the towel, or whatever it is that you do when you become "sick and tired." As for contradictions, cite please. Please do humor us. [:)] DreamLady

MarcEsadrian -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/2/2015 8:03:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DannyIsNotWelcom Define "hurt"! I did: "It should make the individual extend a bit beyond his or her comfort zones." How that translates into "sitting around in the dark because you can't pay the electricity bill" escapes me. quote: Money absolutely sucks as a means to gauge people's intentions unless they're absolutely obsessed with it. I'm not obsessed with money any more than anyone else is and I've used it before. In my experience, it doesn't suck. Using money as a litmus test can and does work. You've heard of the phrase, "put your money where your mouth is," correct? That's not a well worn idiom for nothing.

DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/2/2015 10:48:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dreamlady If your reply was directed to my post right above yours Absolutely. quote: then you're not making any sense on this thread or any other thread because I don't see what/where you have been pointing out to me, or to others, or to any number of Dominants that you would just throw your hands up in despair, or hang your head, or throw in the towel, or whatever it is that you do when you become "sick and tired." I'm not allowed to do any of the above so I just become sick and tired. quote: As for contradictions, cite please. Please do humor us. [:)] Exactly not. If you want to turn this into BDSM debate club find someone else to do it with.

DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/2/2015 10:51:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian How that translates into "sitting around in the dark because you can't pay the electricity bill" escapes me. Well let me educate you: You have $100 and the utility bills are $100 and you give $1 to someone else instead they turn something off. quote: I'm not obsessed with money any more than anyone else is and I've used it before. In my experience, it doesn't suck. In my experience it never sucks to be at the receiving end. Have you ever given money to some person you don't know very well because they look cute fondling those curtains? Would you? I rest my case.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/3/2015 12:31:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DannyIsNotWelcom quote: ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian How that translates into "sitting around in the dark because you can't pay the electricity bill" escapes me. Well let me educate you: You have $100 and the utility bills are $100 and you give $1 to someone else instead they turn something off. Speaking of educated math, you can't pay a $100 bill with $99 and the utilities will get turned off anyway. So you shouldn't give any money away if you're that broke. I don't disagree with your ratio of 1% for mad money, just that the example you gave leaves them in the dark with the utilities off anyway. Just sayin'

dreamlady -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/3/2015 1:39:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DannyIsNotWelcom quote: ORIGINAL: dreamlady If your reply was directed to my post right above yours Absolutely. What's with the attitude? Have we interacted on the forums before? I quoted you, wherein you had quoted epiphiny43, because I felt that you had added to the subject matter he had shared, rather than requoting him singularly. Somehow, you took my comments personally. I have no bone to pick with you by highlighting your reply posts to epiphiny. Considering that English is presumably not your primary language, although you seem to have a good command of it, you may have misinterpreted me. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. My comments were not directed at you personally, if that's the impression you received. quote: ORIGINAL: DannyIsNotWelcom quote: ORIGINAL: dreamlady then you're not making any sense on this thread or any other thread because I don't see what/where you have been pointing out to me, or to others, or to any number of Dominants that you would just throw your hands up in despair, or hang your head, or throw in the towel, or whatever it is that you do when you become "sick and tired." I'm not allowed to do any of the above so I just become sick and tired. [8\|] You can always ask for clarification, rather than jumping to half-baked conclusions. There was a short-lived poster recently around your age, right before you joined, who also exhibited passive-aggressive behavior, but was more polite about it. I was off the Boards for a couple of months here, so perhaps he is taking a break. A bisexual male sub from around your region sharing your surname, who may have spoken German, although his syntax did not follow the usual pattern. He did ask questions when he didn't quite comprehend other posters, although he (like you) spoke adoringly of his seemingly straight (fantasy) Master. quote: ORIGINAL: DannyIsNotWelcom quote: ORIGINAL: dreamlady As for contradictions, cite please. Please do humor us. [:)] Exactly not. If you want to turn this into BDSM debate club find someone else to do it with. Nobody is trying to debate with you, that I can tell. A difference of opinion is not necessarily a debate. As MarcEsadrian already brought up, you (plural) put your money where your mouth is. There's also another saying, which is, you can talk the talk, but you can't walk the walk. [X(] DreamLady

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/3/2015 9:52:02 AM)
You and MarcEsadrian attempting to communicate with that poster on a peer level is an exercise in futility. Or pearls before swine. I think I'm short on metaphors this morning.

DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/3/2015 2:33:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: DannyIsNotWelcom quote: ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian How that translates into "sitting around in the dark because you can't pay the electricity bill" escapes me. Well let me educate you: You have $100 and the utility bills are $100 and you give $1 to someone else instead they turn something off. you can't pay a $100 bill with $99 and the utilities will get turned off anyway. Maybe not in the US. Here in Romania that happens quite a lot (to me because I tend to forget about bills below the three digit range). Getting it turned back on again costs you an additional $50. Quite a lucrative business! Reminds me of the original subject.

DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Do male Doms ask for tribute? (9/3/2015 2:44:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dreamlady There was a short-lived poster recently around your age, right before you joined, who also exhibited passive-aggressive behavior, but was more polite about it. I was off the Boards for a couple of months here, so perhaps he is taking a break. A bisexual male sub from around your region sharing your surname, who may have spoken German, although his syntax did not follow the usual pattern. He did ask questions when he didn't quite comprehend other posters, although he (like you) spoke adoringly of his seemingly straight (fantasy) Master.[/color] Nice try. I hope you understand that I will not point out exactly where you went wrong with that. But I'll give you that it's 102 even if you failed it.

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