No Joke: 'Extraction of Phallic Objects Requires Ingenuity' (Full Version)

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outlier -> No Joke: 'Extraction of Phallic Objects Requires Ingenuity' (9/6/2015 2:10:30 PM)

I'll bet the headline made you look. It made me look too
when I was on Medpage Today.

Here is the story; complete with X-Ray.

http://www.medpagetoday.com/Blogs/IvanToday/53410

"How do you remove a sex toy stuck inside a man's rectum?

This was the clinical conundrum that confronted surgeons at Dublin's Mater Misericordiae University Hospital last December. As they write in the International Journal of Surgery Case Reports, a "68-year-old man presented to the emergency department with severe lower abdominal discomfort, distension and inability to pass urine, flatus, or bowel motions. He had inserted a phallic object in the rectum 10 hours prior to presentation and had been unable to remove same.

Doctors tried to remove the 23 centimeter-long object -- see the X-ray pictured above -- in the emergency department, but that didn't work. "Therefore, it was necessary to remove the object using a bi-manual technique in the lithotomy position under general anaesthesia in the operating theatre." The position of the sex toy was such that removing it required the use of a Magill's forceps, similar to what the authors refer to as a "cork in bottle technique" that had been previously described."

The patient did just fine. As the authors note, "Extraction of rectal foreign bodies requires ingenuity."




angelikaJ -> RE: No Joke: 'Extraction of Phallic Objects Requires Ingenuity' (9/6/2015 2:43:48 PM)

Another example of necessary ingenuity and deft forceps technique:
http://www.theguardian.com/healthcare-network/2015/aug/20/removed-toy-dinosaur-womans-vagina

"... One of the best sentences I have ever uttered as a nurse, scratch that, one of the best sentences I’ve ever said, is: “I don’t advise inserting children’s toys during sexual activity, however if you do choose to masturbate with a toy dinosaur, I recommend buying your own, and perhaps putting it in a condom, or tying a leash to its foot.” ..."




DesFIP -> RE: No Joke: 'Extraction of Phallic Objects Requires Ingenuity' (9/6/2015 6:04:28 PM)

What gets me is that he had to undergo the same procedure ten years ago to remove a foreign object from his rectum. Wouldn't you think he'd of learned?




blnymph -> RE: No Joke: 'Extraction of Phallic Objects Requires Ingenuity' (9/6/2015 6:20:11 PM)

makes one wonder how to collar a dinosaur ... [sm=lol.gif]




thompsonx -> RE: No Joke: 'Extraction of Phallic Objects Requires Ingenuity' (9/7/2015 8:06:57 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

What gets me is that he had to undergo the same procedure ten years ago to remove a foreign object from his rectum. Wouldn't you think he'd of learned?


Maybe he was just careless this time?




outlier -> RE: No Joke: 'Extraction of Phallic Objects Requires Ingenuity' (9/7/2015 8:42:25 PM)

So far on this thread we have had the Irish Slow Learner
followed by the Creative English Mother. I think it is time
we called up this classic American story from the journal

Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality, 1991

"An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers.
Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis
against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he
approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt.......................
...........I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification."






tj444 -> RE: No Joke: 'Extraction of Phallic Objects Requires Ingenuity' (9/8/2015 2:08:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: outlier

So far on this thread we have had the Irish Slow Learner
followed by the Creative English Mother. I think it is time
we called up this classic American story from the journal

Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality, 1991

"An unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his co-workers.
Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of masturbating by holding his penis
against the canvas drive-belt of a large floor-based piece of running machinery. One day, as he
approached orgasm, he lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt.......................
...........I can only assume he abandoned this method of self-gratification."

omg.. holy self castration Batman! [sm=hewah.gif]

and he staple-gunned himself to "repair" the wound.. he musta been on some pretty strong illegal drugs...




Wayward5oul -> RE: No Joke: 'Extraction of Phallic Objects Requires Ingenuity' (9/8/2015 3:04:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tj444
and he staple-gunned himself to "repair" the wound.. he musta been on some pretty strong illegal drugs...


OK, just reading that hurt me and I don't even have a penis.

I want whatever he was on.




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