feelings I do not understand

feelings I do not understand (Full Version)

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hisforever -> feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 7:11:13 AM)
I am new to the D/s relationship. We have been playing with it for a while, but now are getting into it 24/7. I know this is what I want, and am happy this way, but I had an experience this weekend that confused me. If I have done something wrong, and get punished for it, usually, even though I know I deserve it, I am hurt or angry inside afterwords. This weekend, I was writing an e mail to my mother, and he asked me a question. I was preoccupied and angery with my mother, and said something smart assed to him without even realizing it. He threw me over the kitchen table and paddled me a good one. I cried my eyes out, but afterwords, he held me, and...I dont know...I felt closer with him then ever, safer, and more at ease then I ever have. Does this make sense to anyone? Why did I feel this way instead of angry inside? Sorry if I sound stupid, I am just confused.

irishbynature -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 7:31:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hisforever I am new to the D/s relationship. We have been playing with it for a while, but now are getting into it 24/7. I know this is what I want, and am happy this way, but I had an experience this weekend that confused me. If I have done something wrong, and get punished for it, usually, even though I know I deserve it, I am hurt or angry inside afterwords. This weekend, I was writing an e mail to my mother, and he asked me a question. I was preoccupied and angery with my mother, and said something smart assed to him without even realizing it. He threw me over the kitchen table and paddled me a good one. I cried my eyes out, but afterwords, he held me, and...I dont know...I felt closer with him then ever, safer, and more at ease then I ever have. Does this make sense to anyone? Why did I feel this way instead of angry inside? Sorry if I sound stupid, I am just confused. There are so many dynamics that occur in a D/s relationship. For each individual and couple, different elements of BSDM (ex :punishment, 24/7, role play only) seem to work for them. The anger may be a core issue you are learning to work through and only you can examine your reactions and chart your personal course[:)] I do think it's always good to reflect upon any emotions we may have in life. You don't sound stupid at all. Somehow, your Dominant found a way to make you feel safe via his actions/your reaction. Warmly, Irishbynature

JessieMe -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 7:33:43 AM)
What a lovely experience to have.. to be punished and still feel loved... you are truly blessed with a wonderful one!

Lordandmaster -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 7:38:23 AM)
Because at the same time he showed you that he is always your ruler and always loves you.

CrappyDom -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 7:40:21 AM)
People often punish children by removing love, good parent make it clear they love them and are simply disapointed with their actions. Good dominants do the same. Perhaps you felt this for the first time or it finally sunk in or he just got it right.

irishbynature -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 7:49:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Because at the same time he showed you that he is always your ruler and always loves you. I'm not into hard beatings (I'd probably throw an object across if attempted) but these replies to the OP are so darned sweet my bratty attitude has taken a shift in understanding and now my romantic side is melting just a bit. Thanks JessieMe and LordandMaster.[:)] Warmly Irishbynature

hisforever -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 7:55:44 AM)
thank you all for your replies. I do agree that he is becoming a wonderful Dom, and husband. I am truly happier now then I have ever been!

Donnalee -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 8:19:54 AM)
I think you felt totally taken care of, and the closeness that comes with that. There is just something that feels wonderful when you can let go and really trust your Dom to take matters into his own hands. When someone cares to know you enough to know and give you what you need, when you need it? Delightful. What a glorious relief. Not stupid at all. I think you're in for a treat, hisforever. Precious.

ownedgirlie -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 8:41:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Because at the same time he showed you that he is always your ruler and always loves you. I completely agree with this! You felt safe and secure, understanding his authority over you, and your boundaries with him. Isn't it wonderful?

hisforever -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 9:47:09 AM)
very wonderful! thank you

stockingluvr54 -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 9:57:45 AM)
me thinks you just found what you're looking for....good for you!

sleazybutterfly -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 10:04:30 AM)
I think you have found Him also. I am a bit jealous..to be punished..then feel loved afterward.. so very sweet. Good luck to you both.. though I don't really think you need it. ~Andrea (flutterbi)

desertdancer -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 10:57:40 AM)
This makes perfect sense. I feel very secure and loved and even cherished after I've been punished. There is this feeling that overwhelms me, when I know he loves me enough to take his time to correct a behavior of mine that has displeased him. My Master punished me out of love, not out of anger, so in those moments it is often when I feel I am loved the most, if that makes any sense. If he did not love me or care about me, he'd let the behavior go unchecked, at least that's how I see it. Your blessed to have found someone you feel secure with, enjoy it. ~dancer

Caretakr -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 11:01:03 AM)
It's very needful to understand that punishment is done out of caring, rather than malice. This is the difference between Domination and abuse.

ravn -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 11:23:21 AM)
It always astounds me, that even after being corrected for an action, the first thing i want to do is kiss my Master's feet and curl up there. It's a feeling of pride that He cares enough to notice when i've done something wrong and thinks enough of my value to Him to correct the behavior. You got a good one! keep a hold on Him! =D

firstsub -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 11:24:01 AM)
Similar experiences have been had by many and if not then many wish we have..... Dom's who are capable of loving discipline have earned the title of Master. jmho

hisforever -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 12:12:57 PM)
Thank you all for your responses, that is exactly how I feel. It made me want to submit to him even deeper then I have.

diamonddreamlove -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 12:16:09 PM)
Welcome to the wonderful world of submission.

Curiossdragnlily -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 1:37:13 PM)
you are not stupid at all. i have also had the same reaction. Sometimes i feel that it really is just what we needed. Not the punishment persay but the results (ie the crying). For sometimes the crying gets the anger out and feels like it really actually cleansed. Now i don't know if i am making sense. LOL. But the times that it has happened to me i also feel closer to my Master. i know it is not something He enjoys doing at all. my Master is more of the mental type. So by the time a physical punishment happens there is alot usually built up in me with no where to go and no reasonable and respectful way to get out. i hopw this makes sense. i am lookinig and wondering....:) with respect, lily, collared and owned slave of Master Curios srn 308-692-331

Littlepita -> RE: feelings I do not understand (7/17/2006 3:35:01 PM)
It is a wonderful thing to be a submissive with a dominant that knows how to correct with love. I'm like the others here in that it makes me closer to my Dom after I have been punished. I become a much better girl, and feeling his loving corrections and then his forgiveness fills me with the desire to be anything he ask of me.

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