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PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/14/2015 9:09:56 AM

mercutio100

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/8/2015
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so a few weeks ago now i met my 1st ever Pro D.. i had said for 14 years i would never do it.

why pay someone to do something to you that is buying not submitting.?

They are not in it for the kink they only care about the money?

Guess what my 1st shock was ,, she was human and had a smile on her face. She laid down some ground rules and made sure i understood her safe word scheme and .. well i am sorry folks but i am going no further into what happened in the following 2 sessions.

I say 2 because i was in such a state of anxiety i yelled the safeword too often and claimed too many hard limits my first time.

in answer my second question first she definitely is into Ds i did meet her husband/sub, and she has followed up to ensure i am fine and honestly no i do not think that is aiming for more business.

She not only has her own time spent but all costumes and equipment to buy and maintain.

After all anyway how much would i spend taking someone out on a date.

as for the 2nd question which was 1st re buying it doesn't mean i have submitted.. Rubbish i had no clue on either visit until i hit the dungeon what was possibly going to be in store for me,, very much like going to a dentist.. you pay your money but you rely on their expertise to deliver what they want to.

For me it has made the world of difference to experience real life where i have not had chance to do anything like this before due to my vanilla confinements.

Post #: 1

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/14/2015 11:45:31 AM

crumpets

Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline

I only read the op once, but it's kind'a confusing, so, it might take two or three passes for me to get the question right.

What struck me was the assumption that she didn't like her work - and - there was no mention of the paramount skill of any pro - which is acting.

I realize run-of-the-mill prostitutes almost certainly don't like their line of work, but, even they find a way to fake it, which is the acting part.

A ProDomme wouldn't be any different on the acting part, nor on the faking part, depending on what her feelings were.

I have never gone to a pro domme, so, I can only say that I "assume" a pro chose the line of work for a reason just as a proctologist or dentist or paramedic chooses their line of work for a reason. They call it work, because it's not always fun and games, but we all hope that the "work" we choose, somehow appeals to us.

Such it should be with her. Let's hope she willingly chose that line of work because it appealed to her, and, because it paid the bills.

My thoughts are on a similar vein with respect to "acting 101".
Let's get something straight.

We men are easy to figure out when it comes to sexual things.
We're as simple as your pet dog is to figure out.

Women are on to us. Yes. I know. Hard to believe. But the pros are on to us. Somehow, they infiltrated our communication system, and they figured out what it is that we want. I don't know how they did it - but - our secret is out.

These professional women know that ACTING is their primary job. The sex is secondary. They're playing up to us, even as we dutifully dole out the money. The more they play us like a fiddle, the more we return and dole out MORE money.

It's the way the game is played.
Given that, I'm not at all surprised about ANYTHING you said.

It seemed quite normal, to me.

(in reply to mercutio100)

Post #: 2

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/14/2015 2:25:09 PM

DocStrange

Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with a reputable Pro Domme. In the USA it can be hard to find a good one due to location and weeding through all the people looking for a quick dollar with no equipment. But they are out there. In the UK is is much easier to find a Pro Domme with a good facility. There are generally multiple in each city, even the smaller ones.

There is always the internet argument about paying for a Pro Domme. Pay no attention to what others are trying to tell you what to do. It is simply a personal choice. Many do not have the time nor want the personal relationship of a full time Domme. So a Pro Domme offers many advantages for many people.

(in reply to crumpets)

Post #: 3

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/14/2015 5:12:29 PM

crumpets

Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange

In the USA it can be hard to find a good one due to location

While I would never pay for a pro domme when I can get it for free, I certainly have paid for hookers who are all professional actresses.
The more you believe her acting, the more satisfied you are.

Some even believe she is "in love" (those are the BEST actresses - or - the most gullible clients).

Either way, here, in the SF Bay Area, you can find a dozen drop-dead gorgeous Pro Dommes (some of whom are also pro subs), for a "donation" of $180/hour.
http://www.thegatessm.com/#!donations/c11zz

You call; you tell 'em what you want; they choose the best "actress"; you agree on a time (no need to talk money); you show up; She meets you at the door; she interviews you in the foyer; she chooses the room; you pay; she leaves for a minute; she returns (all dressed up); you go to the room; you CONTROL the situation (since you pay - you are the boss - whether you're a sub or a dom); and then you thank her very much for her acting skills.

If you're satisfied, you choose her the next time you have $180 an hour to spend.
If her acting stinks; you choose another, and try anew.

Or, you go somewhere else with your $180/hour.
http://www.backdrop.net/mainmenu.htm

Dom or sub, you're in charge if the wallet is in your hand. Not her.

(in reply to DocStrange)

Post #: 4

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/14/2015 6:47:54 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
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Again, not the case all the time.^

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to crumpets)

Post #: 5

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/14/2015 8:53:16 PM

crumpets

Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
Again, not the case all the time.^

I understand what your're saying, but I then feel sorry for the guys who both hand over their hard-earned money, and, they hand over control at the very same time (if that's even possible).

To me, it's one or the other.

But, we can agree to disagree on that.

(in reply to TNDommeK)

Post #: 6

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/14/2015 9:36:58 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
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Would you feel sorry for someone who goes into a store and purchases something that makes him happy? Would you feel like his hard earned money was taken from him?

You make it sound like I'm tricking him or luring him to his death lol. His hard earned money is spent how he likes, what makes him happy. His happiness just so happens to be what pleases me.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to crumpets)

Post #: 7

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/15/2015 1:50:26 PM

DocStrange

Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crumpets

Dom or sub, you're in charge if the wallet is in your hand. Not her.

If you think you are the person in charge just because you have the wallet, you miss the point of what a submissive is. A submissive chooses to give his/her submission to the person of their choice. I ALWAYS have a choice. My submission is a choice to hand over control to a person I choose. Once that control is given up then I am no longer in charge.

There is a big difference between acting the role of a Domme and being one. Many people can go through the motions but the spark that drives the Domme is not their in an actor. Body mannerisms tell a lot. It is rather easy to tell the gold digger who's only interest is making a dollar versus the Domme who enjoys her sport.

An actress will not have the mannersims of a person who truly is enjoying her sport. An actress will not secrete pheromones as she goes through the motions. There will be no electricity in her step or sparkle in her eye. All of the things I am looking for will not be present with an actor.

(in reply to crumpets)

Post #: 8

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/15/2015 2:29:31 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

Omg so much of this^
Yes!!

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to DocStrange)

Post #: 9

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/15/2015 4:58:55 PM

MissKatya

Posts: 341
Joined: 12/21/2007
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

You call; you tell 'em what you want; they choose the best "actress"; you agree on a time (no need to talk money); you show up; She meets you at the door; she interviews you in the foyer; she chooses the room; you pay; she leaves for a minute; she returns (all dressed up); you go to the room; you CONTROL the situation (since you pay - you are the boss - whether you're a sub or a dom); and then you thank her very much for her acting skills.

If you're satisfied, you choose her the next time you have $180 an hour to spend.
If her acting stinks; you choose another, and try anew.

Or, you go somewhere else with your $180/hour.
http://www.backdrop.net/mainmenu.htm

Just curious but you have mentioned in your first response that you have never seen a Pro-Domme. So how do you know exactly what happens when you see one (which is incorrect, by the way).

And ok, we get it, you will never see a Pro-Domme. No need to bring it up constantly nor do you have to constantly bash those who do. It doesn't make your personal situation any more meaningful than someone who opts to see a Pro-Domme. Some people prefer a different dynamic. To say that their enjoyment and experience is lacking because YOU hold a certain viewpoint towards Professional Domination is pointless.

I also just want to remind you that many Pro-Dommes are also into the lifestyle as well. I feel that this always gets overlooked when it comes to negative Pro-Domme thread commentary.

_____________________________

"The desire to inflict pain, that is all that is uppermost"-Albert Fish

(in reply to crumpets)

Post #: 10

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/17/2015 3:29:32 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I was going to put this on the other thread but since this one is more or less the same topic, I'll put it here.

If there's one thing I learned from living in the middle of nowhere Alaska, it's that there is not a single, decent, professional Dominant in the entire state. It's not that you can't find pay for play there. It's just that I've seen a number of the folks who advertise themselves as professional, and frankly, I wouldn't let them top my cat. I used to tell people rather frequently that they'd be better off flying down to the lower 48, booking a session with a reputable pro, and make a vacation out of it.

Rates. Honestly, the most I was offered in person (meaning actual cash in hand, not that crap that comes in every woman's email on this site) was three hundred for the hour. That's not a bad chunk of change in the Last Frontier.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MissKatya)

Post #: 11

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/17/2015 3:33:22 PM

DocStrange

Posts: 1076
Joined: 6/10/2015
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I was going to put this on the other thread but since this one is more or less the same topic, I'll put it here.

If there's one thing I learned from living in the middle of nowhere Alaska, it's that there is not a single, decent, professional Dominant in the entire state. It's not that you can't find pay for play there. It's just that I've seen a number of the folks who advertise themselves as professional, and frankly, I wouldn't let them top my cat. I used to tell people rather frequently that they'd be better off flying down to the lower 48, booking a session with a reputable pro, and make a vacation out of it.

Rates. Honestly, the most I was offered in person (meaning actual cash in hand, not that crap that comes in every woman's email on this site) was three hundred for the hour. That's not a bad chunk of change in the Last Frontier.

And there are many other places in the US just like Alaska where there is not a decent Pro Domme and/or dungeon for hundred of miles.

I do remember you used to preach that one needs to get out into the BDSM community and meet people in RL. Has Alaska changed your perspective that in some places there is not BDSM community to go out and be active in? I have found that to be true in a lot of the small mid west cities.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 12

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/17/2015 5:25:10 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange
And there are many other places in the US just like Alaska where there is not a decent Pro Domme and/or dungeon for hundred of miles.

I do remember you used to preach that one needs to get out into the BDSM community and meet people in RL. Has Alaska changed your perspective that in some places there is not BDSM community to go out and be active in? I have found that to be true in a lot of the small mid west cities.

I'd offer to post you some links from the events that I did attend in Alaska but they would have to come from the other site. (The Upcoming Events section here only goes back one year and we had left Alaska by then.) We absolutely did drive the two hours to Fairbanks and the two hours back to attend munches, community events, and some really awesome private parties. We've also done the longer trip to Anchorage on occasion.

We threw some parties, too. One of the benefits of the house in Alaska was that I had a HUGE basement. (The basement we have now is a smaller in size and different layout.) It might surprise some people just how many folks came to play. (Plenty of shots on my profile on the other site, if you'd like to see. Yes, I have permission to post them from all of the bottoms.) Mostly the same stuff in both homes, except my husband built me a beautiful cross for my last birthday. Spanking bench, wax area, and a cute little after care spot.

One thing I have always said is that folks in Alaska really don't care about how far they have to drive to do stuff with other kinky people. They do it through snow, ice pack on the roads, half of the year it's dark outside, with moose that just cross the road when it suits them, and this really messed up stuff called ice fog. Community dungeons? They find a place to rent, pack all of the dungeon furniture in a truck, set it all up, play all night, and then tear the whole thing down in the morning. They're dedicated.

We had easier drives from Paso Robles to Bakersfield. A little longer but much better road conditions. We always had weird luck if we went to Fresno because we seemed to always come back in fog.

We live in kink mecca now. (Don't believe the location on the profile.) It's probably one of the top ten kink areas in the continental US.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DocStrange)

Post #: 13

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/18/2015 2:00:37 AM

longing2serveBBW

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/12/2014
Status: offline

It's like everything else in life It's about what suits you.

I've visited Pro Dommes on three occasions and never enjoyed any of them. I don't blame the Lady's in question as I'm sure that they have many satisfied 'customers' and there it is that word ''Customer''
I personally found the whole experience to be stage managed and wondered how many times the lady's went through the same routine, spoke the same words and couldn't help wondering just how boring it must be. I never once felt I was being dominated because ultimately I was the one in control.
The whole experience seemed, and I use something you said here, ''Like a visit to the dentist'' cold and clinical.

(in reply to mercutio100)

Post #: 14

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/18/2015 2:15:18 AM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

Its a shame that people have those experiences. Theres a whole lot that goes into doing professional sessions. When they are the same every time, its easy to tell theres no connection. When I say connection, I dont mean with the sub, Im referring to the kink. When you are enjoying what youre doing, the sub can tell. Theres a huge difference in ones actions when that happens. When theres no connection to the kink, theres definitely no connection with the sub. And notice I say sub, not customer.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to longing2serveBBW)

Post #: 15

RE: PRO D or not to Pro D - 9/19/2015 9:17:21 PM

crumpets

Posts: 1614
Joined: 11/5/2014
From: South Bay (SF & Silicon Valley)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DocStrange
An actress will not have the mannersims of a person who truly is enjoying her sport.

If we were only talking about you, or me, I might wholeheartedly agree with you. I've had encounters with free Dommes, who, after a few minutes, I realized something was fishy, and one took two encounters before I abruptly broke it off, where "something" just wasn't right. She made mention here and there, and acted this way or that way, and then, you knew, from a comment or few(such as "I wish I could live in a place like this" or "I'll bet my friends would die if they knew who you were", etc.), that she wasn't after "me" but she was really after my money.

So, you and I sniff these gold diggers out, and throw them aside, as abruptly as they would us, sans our wealth.

However, have you ever heard of a guy, spending all his money (even robbing banks to get more money) so that he could please his "lover" who just happens to double as his "hooker", and, in the end, the guy (maybe) belatedly realizes he's been on the wrong side of an acting swindle from day one?

Someone is fooling someone every minute...

(in reply to DocStrange)

Post #: 16

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