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sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 7:16:11 AM   
MS4S


Posts: 136
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline 		We all know sex is a vital part of a relationship but ponder this

What reasons is there for a male or female in a relationship or starting a relationship to withhold sex from their significant other?

Having said that ponder this

If person in question(one withholding sex) breaks up with you decides to break up with you or is contemplating breaking up with you because
a)They accuse you of cheating
b)You did not pressure them or act as though sex needed be brought up in the relationship

Whose fault is it or how do you respond or What reasons would there be or scenarios to have this happen

Now if you assume they themselves is cheating bring that up in your discussion

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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 7:35:09 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		By the time the intimacy, the emotional vulnerability is gone, why would you still be willing to engage sexually with someone?
What would it give you except feeling used in a bad way? Basing this on the other person pressuring you.

There's no way to assign blame in the scenario you scripted. You left out too much.

However, if one of you believes the other to be cheating, then trust is already long gone and you do better to end the relationship.

You want to blame him, do so. But what will that give you for the future?

Absolutely nothing.


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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 7:57:06 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP


There's no way to assign blame in the scenario you scripted. You left out too much.




And it's too scattered to really get a grasp of what is happening other than someone is withholding sex, possibly because they think you cheated?

FYI: The OP is a male Dom and I'm guessing this situation is probably tied to his post in the Poly Forum.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 9/24/2015 8:05:58 AM >

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 8:24:45 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He's a male dom? Does the woman whose photo he has as his avatar know that he's spreading that all over the net? Because I find that reprehensible and the mark of someone untrustworthy.

After all, if he's using her photo without consent, it makes me think she was right to believe he was cheating. You either have integrity and honor or you don't.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 8:44:17 AM   
MS4S


Posts: 136
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline 		I had permission to have that pic when I was online collaring her but My last three GFS from Vanilla or kinky vanilla before I got deep into online domininance/collaring/polygamy were like the persons I described

Why would I date a female for three months and all I get out of it is a BJ

Why would I date a female for 2 months liking her enough to parada her as My signifact other to have her one day its over because I know your cheating

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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 8:51:06 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MS4S

online domininance/collaring/polygamy
Polygamy is plural marriage, so I doubt you were engaged in online polygamy.



quote:

Why would I date a female for three months and all I get out of it is a BJ
Probably because you have problems communicating (as proven by your posts)

quote:

Why would I date a female for 2 months liking her enough to parada her as My signifact other to have her one day its over because I know your cheating
You parading her around as a significant other is insignificant in regards to her beliefs that you are cheating and that she should end it.

Your sentence is the equivalent of saying: Why would I wash my car only to have it need an oil change?


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 8:53:45 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MS4S



Why would I date a female for three months and all I get out of it is a BJ




Dating is a getting to know time. It may or may not be a time for BJs. There was no sex in my present relationship for the first 3 months and that includes BJs. We used that time to get to know each other. We met each other's family. We went to doctor appointments together. We discussed what we were looking for in a relationship and what we had for long term goals. It must have worked it that way. We've been together for 10 years.


_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

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Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:07:02 AM   
MS4S


Posts: 136
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline 		Okay Conjure thjs then example MY Girlfriends a STRIPPER and Good Looing She talks about Me to all her Co-workers raves etc...I go visit her at the club she's working...She introduces Me as her bf significant other when quips of Yeah si this is your BF Great You lucky Girl you....

Then two scenarios happen either same night one night or on separate occasions

My GF wants to give Me a lapdance in public view of others okay fine done

Minutes Later or few hours has passed when 5-6 or more strippers attempt to give Me or want to give Me ladances in the open just like MY GF DID. From her so called Best Friend Her Enemy And others. whether getting Her blessings to have this done or telling Me as she sees this happen YOU BETTER NOT....So lets say I don't or reject......

IF after telling them the strippers Hands off He;s mine she has to fight so to speak few minutes ther one with 2 or more strippers or apprarently are jealous of Her or are quipping Whyd you bring Him to the Club for or Share Share alike

If one of the strippers start a rumour that I am cheating then whose to blame

(in reply to peppermint)
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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:07:49 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		I didn't understand what your post is about at all.

But now I do.

Also if you are man, you need to know that, a woman need to feel comfortable with you and trust you, to have sex with you.

If they didn't in the end, it just mean, somehow the emotional connection was not nurtured properly. To woo a woman in bed, you gotta win her emotionally.

Or you can just date women who is happy to get the sex out of the way first.

I'm a little bit more like a dude in the way I approach sex. I like to get it out of the way first, before I decide whether to nurture emotional connection. As I hate to have emotional connection with someone and then find out I dislike the sex part.

(in reply to MS4S)
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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:09:13 AM   
MS4S


Posts: 136
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline 		Somethimg must be wrong with My computer I grammatically wrote that last post and now its mxed up in grammar

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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:10:49 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Okay, here's the thing sunshine....

It takes two people to make a relationship. It takes two people to have a relationship fail. That means that you both hold some blame.

And judging by your communication issues and the fact that you think that you're all that and the bag of chips. I firmly believe that you're not completely innocent in this situation.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to MS4S)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:11:04 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MS4S
Okay Conjure thjs then example MY Girlfriends a STRIPPER and Good Looing She talks about Me to all her Co-workers raves etc...I go visit her at the club she's working...She introduces Me as her bf significant other when quips of Yeah si this is your BF Great You lucky Girl you....

If one of the strippers start a rumour that I am cheating then whose to blame

Anyway, for some reason she has lack of trust in you. And end of the day, for some rational or irrational reason, she just does not trust you. Unfortunately, I think you need to ask her why. We wouldn't know. She knows best.

That's why you are having these problems.

(in reply to MS4S)
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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:12:16 AM   
MS4S


Posts: 136
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline 		Thanks but If I was in a more then six month relationship with out sex in a reklationship other than to think she's cheating what now

(in reply to MS4S)
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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:14:46 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MS4S

Thanks but If I was in a more then six month relationship with out sex in a reklationship other than to think she's cheating what now

What do you want?
Do you love her and want her? Or are you just sore about not getting sex after spending so much time with her?

(in reply to MS4S)
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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:15:01 AM   
MS4S


Posts: 136
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline 		okay Greta If My last 4 GF's were strippers in Real life not bdsm inclusive and they all dud the same think break up with Me because of trsut issues what now Dear

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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:17:06 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MS4S

okay Greta If My last 4 GF's were strippers in Real life not bdsm inclusive and they all dud the same think break up with Me because of trsut issues what now Dear

As I said, you really need to ask them and not me. Because I don't know what they experience with you. I don't know how you are like. Do you give attention to other girls when your sole undivided attention should be towards your GF only.

Things like that. Why would a woman want to have sex with you if you do not make her feel special to you? And if they are strippers, they are probably sick of being sexualised, so all the more they will take their time with sex with their BF.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 9/24/2015 9:18:13 AM >

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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:18:06 AM   
MS4S


Posts: 136
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline 		Sex is not the issue but trust is a MUST But when I decide to say you know what sweetie or need a reality check because you'll end up having to use your looks first to attract a Male(Easily Done) and realize you lost a good thing and she quips So what Good Bye and Good Luck with another what now

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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:19:21 AM   
MS4S


Posts: 136
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline 		So Roses gifts and candy every week doesn't count for beans

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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:21:58 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MS4S
But when I decide to say you know what sweetie or need a reality check because you'll end up having to use your looks first to attract a Male(Easily Done) and realize you lost a good thing and she quips So what Good Bye and Good Luck with another what now

Any woman will tell you goodbye if you said that to any woman! She says she does not trust you. Clearly if she already feels you are cheating, then there are trust issues. And your reaction is just to tell her that she can use her looks to attract other male, but you're a good thing? Instead of addressing her concerns and finding out where it's stemming from?

If my BF said that to me, I'd never talk to him again, if I questioned him about cheating.


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RE: sex vs relationships - 9/24/2015 9:23:54 AM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MS4S

So Roses gifts and candy every week doesn't count for beans

It just means that, those aren't what's important to her from a man. If she's a stripper, she might also be regularly receiving gifts from other men. What makes you different? So you don't understand her. I think the problem is, you really don't understand her. And the reason she thinks this is not working is probably simply because she feels you can't understand her.

If you really want her and care about her, then you really got to drop the macho talk and alot of ego and pride here, and seriously just tell her how much she mean to you and you really want to find out exactly what are her concerns and issue, and then you need to address them and give her a solution.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 9/24/2015 9:24:58 AM >

(in reply to MS4S)
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