RE: Healthy Submissives (Full Version)

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Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/28/2015 5:43:31 PM)

Dudebro needs to find out that lots of women won't think he and his body are "hot".




Lucylastic -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/28/2015 5:53:09 PM)

Yanno? I didnt even look at his pics, his post is enough to turn me off. He could look like statham. But his post shows he is emotionally stunted. Yeah been ther, done that. Hard limit.




shiftyw -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/28/2015 6:39:29 PM)

Why won't I get healthy?

Welp, I eat more fruits and veggies than almost any of my friends. I eat REAL foods, wholesome foods, that I make myself way more often than I eat anything processed.

I'm still WAY overweight because I have a shitty thyroid issue, I have PTSD which caused me to gain "defensive weight" and want to keep that weight on, both of these conditions led to adrenal issues, which causes weight to be incredibly hard to take off, and most of my excercise at this point has to be pretty easy shit so as not to worsen that adrenal fatigue. Oh, and I am in therapy.

So...when someone is like "WHY DONT YOU WANT TO BE HEALTHY!?" I mostly want to kick them in the face.
If its coming from someone who "would be interested in me if I had a hotter body"- or associates my body fat percentage with my "quality"- I basically have no interest in that opinion of me, cause I promise I wake up and hear that shit in my own head every fucking day. I don't need to be told I'm fucking fat, I fucking know! I'm working on it, but not because some shallow jerk off wants me to make his dick happy.




DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/28/2015 7:36:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

You cannot get washboard abs without routinely running on a deficiency... and running on a deficiency when you're at a healthy weight is structurally and fundamentally unhealthy.


But you can play skiffle music on them!

Fun aside, when someone likens "healthy" to "looking like the people in the latest underwear commercial" there is not much hope. I don't work out, smoke like a chimney, and guzzle beer all day long. Then again, I walk to the supermarket and back, two miles with 25 lbs on each hand. When the elevator is crowded I take the stairs and greet people five levels later, not even breaking a sweat. I eat varied including vegetables and spinach for that matter because I like good food and I know how to cook. I don't sport a six-pack or abs like birds are supposed to nest on them but I don't have a beer belly either and all of my muscles are visible and capable of doing their job. My master seems to like it that way because he could send me off to get a gym membership but he doesn't.

Long story short: there are many ways you can tinker with a submissive (and I don't even have patience with dominants who won't be bothered to do so) but if you don't like the basic material, move on. You wouldn't buy a Volvo in the hopes of turning it into a Porsche, would you?




Greta75 -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/28/2015 7:43:12 PM)

Ahh I usually can't be bothered to click on anybody's profile, but I bite.

Seriously...., this is dude is anorexic and unattractive to me, physically. His so small and thin.

I've been with men with abs, muscular, but at least they are proper size and huge.

It's not even an attractive muscular build due to pumping irons, but truly muscles due to unhealthily low body fat percentage.

I love how an anorexic is giving bigger people crap.

And there are plenty of petite women in this lifestyle. But I don't know if they would find you hot.




UllrsIshtar -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/28/2015 8:08:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DannyIsNotWelcom

when someone likens "healthy" to "looking like the people in the latest underwear commercial"


This dude is too skinny to be an underwear model.




DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/28/2015 8:53:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
This dude is too skinny to be an underwear model.


Oops, I did not look up the profile. Being a dude myself, for me it's about the proportions. I find Camryn Manheim quite attractive.

How about this:

http://bible-history.com/ibh/images/fullsized/Statue-du-Pharaon-Amenhotep-III.gif

Minus the ceremonial beard of course. Remember that was the beauty ideal at the time not what the guy actually looked like. I kind of do :-)






UllrsIshtar -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/28/2015 9:14:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DannyIsNotWelcom

How about this:

http://bible-history.com/ibh/images/fullsized/Statue-du-Pharaon-Amenhotep-III.gif

Minus the ceremonial beard of course. Remember that was the beauty ideal at the time not what the guy actually looked like. I kind of do :-)





That dude has a nicely developed chest, and the appropriate fat deposits in the correct places.




Greta75 -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/28/2015 10:44:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic
He could look like statham.

If only he actually has the body of Statham. He does not! Statham has a super hot body!

But because his so stick thin, I understand why he wants smaller women. His tiny. I feel like I could break his arms if we had sex. I'm a very strong woman physically.

But I find it hard to believe his claims that slim women are so hard to find. More like if there is one, his gonna get rejected.




MuscleBoundDom -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/28/2015 10:54:57 PM)

I always get a kick out of these people who are at an unhealthy body weight who yell and scream whenever someone preaches health and exercise: "I've got this disorder and that disorder so who in the hell are you saying we need to eat healthier and exercise." And the disorder they have only affect a small percentage of the population. It's the same thing if someone preached the value of an education and someone yelled and screamed, "I've got this disorder, so who in the hell are you preaching this?!"

It's like the uneducated and welfare people screaming mad that they don't get the same benefits as those who put in the energy, effort, time and money to get an education and work hard at their career. They are just pissed off because they are not that way. So they blame society and genetics. And even preach that living unhealthy is now healthy.

LMFAO




Greta75 -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/28/2015 11:15:18 PM)

I actually know in real life someone like you. Who thinks his god's gift to woman, thinks his body was da bomb. His body is similar like yours, super skinny, full abs on show due to low body fat. His a marathon runner who can run under 3 hours marathon, so his physique was suitable for what he does. Got so offended when he asked me if I thought he was good looking and I said, I think his below average.

The problem is, I'm bluntly honest. If I ask a man to critique my body and my looks, I can take the truth of what he thinks even if it's negative, and I prefer to hear the truth. But he asked for my opinion and could not take the truth of my opinion.

You are reminding me of him, as you have self-declared yourself to be the epitome of healthy body type and you think it's attractive even. Yet people have shared their honest opinions with you and you can't take the truth.




DannyIsNotWelcom -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/28/2015 11:20:32 PM)

Such a poser [:)]




LadyPact -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/29/2015 5:45:26 AM)

Ah, the place just wouldn't be the same without a fat thread.


quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom

Please don't take this post the wrong way. I'm just looking for answers. I've had a profile on this site and I think it's wonderful. I enjoyed the forums and I learned about the clubs. I actually met someone on this site and we tried to make it work out.

Everyone has preferences but I can't seem to find one who has the same as mine. Every female submissive I've met at the BDSM clubs and munches are very overweight and not healthy. The few I know won't go to the gym no matter how hard I try to get them to go.

No matter how much I preach to them the importance of eating healthy and daily exercise they won't do it. Intellectually they know it's good but emotionally they don't do it. When I mention they should see a therapist they yell and scream and tell me where to go.

Why aren't they health conscious?

You'll have to forgive me but every time somebody tries the 'all the female submissives are overweight' thing, I do go to look at the person's profile to see where they are located. You happen to be in L.A. I've been to the area and I can not agree with your 'every female submissive at clubs and munches is very overweight and unhealthy' position. It's usually not true of any location but it's always a little bit of fun to come across somebody, especially when having been to the area, to know for certain that they are incorrect.

Don't feel bad though. Same thing happened when one of the attendees at the Fairbanks, AK munch that I used to frequent posted the very same kind of thread about three years ago. (Much smaller kink community there, of course, but I knew for a fact that this person was incorrect.) I was more than happy to inform him that I would gladly share his perspective with the entire munch attendance the very next time he and I happened to be at the same kink gathering. As if by magic, the thread went *poof* and so did his attendance at any munch, community dungeon, or private party I happened to be at ever again. I guess he just wasn't all that enthused about his ugly attitude being discussed in front of other people. By the way, the guy is still single three years later and I can promise you it's not because of his so-called standards. I'll be happy to PM you his screen name if you'd like.

Now, I'm going to tell you that you are free to have any personal preference that you want when it comes to your dating life. Heck, I don't care if you only want to date women of a certain height, weight, with a certain skin tone, hair color, religious background, education level, income bracket, or any other thing that tickles your little heart.

However, two things come to mind. First, most women, unless they are the type to also think appearance is everything, really get turned off by superficial men. Darn near every beautiful woman that I know has a friend, a sister, a co-worker or whatever that may not be as lovely as they are but as soon as a male comes along who is critical about those other people, they quickly don't want anything to do with the man.

Second, if I were your employer right now, I wouldn't be thrilled with you. Not because you are on a kink site. Instead, I'd be looking at it through the eyes of somebody with the interest of my potential client base in mind. Do you really think coming to any public forum (and to think you're doing this at social gatherings in your private life, too) using derogatory terms like fatties is going to encourage people to sign up for memberships at the establishment? You couldn't have written a better advertisement for Curves or any other competitor than you just did with this thread.




Thanks to some of the folks who responded to this thread. The contributions regarding health and diet were very informative. I thought they came across as helpful without judgement. A skill that some folks might find a benefit if they are really just concerned about more people being healthy.





shiftyw -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/29/2015 6:00:22 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom

I always get a kick out of these people who are at an unhealthy body weight who yell and scream whenever someone preaches health and exercise: "I've got this disorder and that disorder so who in the hell are you saying we need to eat healthier and exercise." And the disorder they have only affect a small percentage of the population. It's the same thing if someone preached the value of an education and someone yelled and screamed, "I've got this disorder, so who in the hell are you preaching this?!"

It's like the uneducated and welfare people screaming mad that they don't get the same benefits as those who put in the energy, effort, time and money to get an education and work hard at their career. They are just pissed off because they are not that way. So they blame society and genetics. And even preach that living unhealthy is now healthy.

LMFAO


Well, first of all...I DO have hypothyroidism and PTSD. I'd be happy to show you my prescriptions with all the pertinent info about my location blurred out.

Secondly- I didn't preach about unhealthy being healthy. I am saying- this shit doesn't change over night. Therapy doesn't solve everything.

Instead of whining about everyone else I think you need to realize that either your standards are limiting you and you have to either be ok with that, or change. Not unlike being overweight.




OsideGirl -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/29/2015 8:38:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MuscleBoundDom

I always get a kick out of these people who are at an unhealthy body weight who yell and scream whenever someone preaches health and exercise: "I've got this disorder and that disorder so who in the hell are you saying we need to eat healthier and exercise."
Actually, what I said is that what you think is eating "healthier" isn't healthier for the people that have Metabolic Syndrome, PCOS or Thyroid issues. Your idea of healthy eating would actually make their conditions worse.

But, again, your lack of empathy means that you can't understand that.


quote:

And the disorder they have only affect a small percentage of the population.
PCOS effects at least 10% of the female population. They're now thinking it's a larger number because a lot of Doctors skip diagnosing it unless you're actively trying to get pregnant. 25% of the population suffers from Metabolic Syndrome. (I don't don't know about the thyroid numbers.) I don't consider those numbers insignificant.


Okay, so now let's get to the crux of the matter.

You're not gaining any ground in this thread and you're not going to because you're the guy who has never had a weight issue trying to tell those who have (or have had) how to solve the problem when we already know your way doesn't work.

And with each post, you only make yourself look worse. So, why don't you just give up on this thread and go find someone that shares your views.

And yeah....in LA there are tons of events where you could probably find someone that shares your views. Try the Fetish Ball on the 10th.






WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/29/2015 8:53:26 AM)

Man, I wish I had someone to go to the gym with, and bike rides with. Well, now I drag my dog along with me on bike rides (he runs along side of course. He can't seem to master the pedals and handlebars so I magnanimously allow him to run alongside.)

I quit drinking soda a couple years ago, when I was diagnosed diabetic.

Someone to encourage (that there is an important word) me to keep up the good work is a dream of mine.

So far, I've lost about 70 pounds, brought my A1C down from 13 to 6.5 and I ride no less than 40 miles a week on my bike. I'm about as healthy as I CAN be, at this point in my life and I'm looking forward to being a better and happier me in the so very near and distant future.

I have a gym membership, but I use it only when the weather isn't nice enough to be out and about.

Know what, I wouldn't be interested in a guy who had his focus on weight and excessive exercising. People age, lifestyles change, life happens. I'd want someone who wants ME, not an image of their ideal woman.





freedomdwarf1 -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/29/2015 9:39:58 AM)

I think OP suffers from what has been termed Bigorexia or muscle dysmorphia (Adonis Complex).
He seems to have the classic symptoms of it.

"Some psychologists believe that men in post-modern society suffer from bigorexia as a consequence of dysfunctional gender roles where men need to be muscular in order to be perceived as masculine"

Sound familiar?? [8|]




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/29/2015 9:43:54 AM)

I feel compelled to say a few things.

There is truth in the fact that many morbidly obese people are unhealthy. They eat unhealthy, and have sedentary lifestyles. The reasons for this vary, and the way back or to a healthy lifestyle is a daunting task for those who try. More than daunting. It can feel like an impossible dream. It is so easy to fall back into comforting routines and so very hard to strengthen your resolve to get back up and keep on doing what literally hurts and has so little immediate rewards.

When I first started riding my bike I actually exceeded the bikes maximum weight limit. I received a lot of stares and people laughing at me. One time, a couple of teenage girls who pointed and laughed and when I rode by one pushed the other toward me to try and knock me off my bike. Those who did ride, avoided eye contact with me. I didn't care, because I was doing something I enjoyed, but there were times I really had to take a deep breath psyche myself up to go outside and face all those people. Most don't know it, but I was diagnosed agoraphobic/PTSD as well as having an auto-immune illness (connective tissue disease).

Food was comforting. My home was safe. People were scary and often awful. It is really fucking hard to overcome some of these things. There isn't a single person out there who could have succeeded in SHAMING me to lose weight or get healthy. Hell, there couldn't possibly be a person out there who was harder on me than I was on myself.

The point is, OP (that's you, the guy who started this thread), fat people know they are overweight. Unhealthy people generally know they are eating the wrong foods. I won't deny that losing weight and eating healthier has had a HUGE impact on my connective tissue disease. I've learned my triggers for it and often can avoid flare ups - not the least of which is avoiding processed foods.

Stop judging over weight people. They have enough burdens, without your input. Those who do get healthy have an enormous struggle ahead (or behind them).

Stop focusing on what you don't want.





Lucylastic -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/29/2015 9:44:12 AM)

OK I looked...ahem.
I have nothing to say.
Ladies....no matter what is wrong physically with you, or not, no matter what your size or not.... You arent him...
Be happy:)




WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Healthy Submissives (9/29/2015 9:54:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

OK I looked...ahem.
I have nothing to say.
Ladies....no matter what is wrong physically with you, or not, no matter what your size or not.... You arent him...
Be happy:)


I admit I laughed!

I also admit, I genuinely wish for everyone to find their happiness in whatever form or with whomever fits in their life. I have no intention to beat the guy up for his opinions or put him down in any way. He has a nice body, and if it was on a 50 y/o or older male I'd find him physically attractive. Then again, I like fluffy men too. Short or tall, I love em all.

But, I did laugh. That right there was some funny stuff.




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