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Can like poles attract - 9/26/2015 4:50:20 AM

mercutio100

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can a sub sub relationship work?

can a Dommes Dom relationship work?

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RE: Can like poles attract - 9/26/2015 7:53:58 AM

CaptR

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Depends on the individuals. Dominant and sub couples can thrive in this lifestyle. If they have healthy outlets for expression and an understanding of one another's needs and expectations I would say yes.

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RE: Can like poles attract - 9/26/2015 9:13:17 AM

OsideGirl

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I know a few Dom/Domme relationships that have lasted. The longest has to be over 20 years now.

I know a few Dom/Switch/sub relationships that have lasted.

I don't know any sub/sub relationships that have lasted.

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RE: Can like poles attract - 9/26/2015 12:40:18 PM

DesFIP

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I knew a sub/sub marriage that lasted 20 odd years. They service topped each other, they both went out of their way to do nice things for each other. The occasionally sought out dominants outside the marriage. Usually separately but occasionally together. However, they both had veto power over the others dominant. The marriage came first and if either one felt a new dominant was interfering with the marriage in order to weaken it, that relationship ended.

It did make it more difficult to find an outside partner because they couldn't totally devote themselves to the new partner.

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RE: Can like poles attract - 9/27/2015 9:15:02 AM

LadyPact

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Yep. They can work.

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RE: Can like poles attract - 9/27/2015 9:55:23 AM

JVoV

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Bipolars can attract too.

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RE: Can like poles attract - 9/27/2015 1:52:46 PM

crumpets

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I never quite understood the "opposites attract" thing.
Seems to me most people want others whom they can identify with, which means they have something in common.
While one may treasure a specific trait or skill in the other, seems to me that the more they have in common, the better the relationship might be.

I'd give it about 75% needs to be in common (or something more than about half, or so), and the rest can be different, but, what matters then is whether the differences complement or negate either individual's contribution to the relationship.

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RE: Can like poles attract - 9/28/2015 3:06:06 PM

DesFIP

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Instead of opposites, what about complementary? One who is strong in an area the other is weak in. That allows the relationship to have a lot more strengths. As long as both people acknowledge their partner's strengths and gladly let them have the authority in that area.

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RE: Can like poles attract - 9/29/2015 1:31:29 PM

crumpets

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Instead of opposites, what about complementary?

That's a perfect sentiment!

I use it all the time with respect to how my lawn, in the drought, still finds a way to be green; it's just different plants which have different skill sets bloom when it's dry than when it's wet. It's a complementary relationship that keeps the grass green all the time.

Likewise with human relationships. Let's say one half of the couple is good at taking over in panic situations while the other half is good at day-to-day planning. The planning half ensures there are fewer unforeseen surprises when they go on vacation, while the panic half handles it well when a road emergency crops up. They complement each other - where one ensures everything is as smooth as can be while the other smooths over the inevitable humps in the trip.

On the other hand, OPPOSITES, to me, don't attract at all. For example, I am an easy-going person, who doesn't have much structure, nor do I expect others to have structure - so - were I to be with a strict person who has lots of structure and who expects that structure from me - they're just not gonna get it. I can try (and I probably will try); but it's hard to be what you're not wired to be.

So, I never got the "opposites attract" thing. So I like the concept of "complements attract" better!

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