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What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 1:25:26 PM

peacefulservant

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/14/2006
From: Jaffrey NH
Status: offline

I would like to know from you manny beautiful mistresses. What is you ideal submissive?(not slave although I know there is much debate over the difference)
I know this is realy an opinion question but that is what I want your opinion. Would you please be as descriptive as possible looks, behavor ext..

Your grateful and ever peaceful servant.

_____________________________

"become at once vertuous in crime and criminal in virtue."
the Marquis de sade- 120 days of sadom.

Post #: 1

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 1:26:50 PM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

I know that carrying an internal construct of an ideal is a masochistic action.

My visions only grow from realities.

(in reply to peacefulservant)

Post #: 2

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 1:38:57 PM

MsKatHouston

Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

intelligent, ambitious, fun, open minded, honorable

the details, though will vary from person to person and that's what makes the individual interesting to me.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to peacefulservant)

Post #: 3

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 2:20:32 PM

Sab

Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline

She is my wife, nuff said! :)

_____________________________

God blessed it and it brought me to her.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)

Post #: 4

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 2:35:56 PM

puella

Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

May ugly Mistresses reply too ?

I'm just joking with ya! (And I am certainly no Mistress!)

(in reply to peacefulservant)

Post #: 5

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 2:46:21 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

believe it or not obedience does not really figure into it, in fact i have found that expecting obedience in the beginning is a sure fire way to not always hear a subs resistance and reservations...

for me its all about
willingness
communication skills
self assuredness
spiritual understandings similar to mine
similar vanilla interests
sense of humor
sense of integrity
he needs to have a job, one gets self worth from having a place in the world where they can be good at something and have their own money.... and he has to have self worth.

obedience comes later and the boy is never forced, because in my world if he chooses not to obey he is with drawing consent, and when he does that we need to talk.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 6

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 2:46:37 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: peacefulservant

I would like to know from you manny beautiful mistresses. What is you ideal submissive?(not slave although I know there is much debate over the difference)
I know this is realy an opinion question but that is what I want your opinion. Would you please be as descriptive as possible looks, behavor ext..

Your grateful and ever peaceful servant.

When I was less experienced and younger I might have had such ideals.

I do look for certain things, I have limits, I have "must haves" but I no longer have "an ideal" because I found that they create less chance of finding wonderful partners.

There are things I find attractive, more about interests and personality than physical though there are physical traits that will draw my attention more than others and some that turn me off, are not ideals.

I'm sorry I can't answer your question.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to peacefulservant)

Post #: 7

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 3:05:44 PM

Controladora

Posts: 10
Joined: 7/14/2006
Status: offline

I don't think I have an ideal. Each experience has been unique. In general I have a preference for submissives that are open, able to article to their emotions/feelings when asked to, able to adapt to changing circumstances and eager to learn.

Controladora

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 8

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 4:06:53 PM

Cloudz

Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Controladora

I don't think I have an ideal. Each experience has been unique. In general I have a preference for submissives that are open, able to article to their emotions/feelings when asked to, able to adapt to changing circumstances and eager to learn.

Controladora

Beautifully stated! I agree each experience is a treasure unto itself.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

(in reply to Controladora)

Post #: 9

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 4:17:51 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

i wonder if an untried submissive would fit into what someone might call an ideal sub?

edited for spelling correction

< Message edited by michaelGA2 -- 7/17/2006 4:38:05 PM >

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to Cloudz)

Post #: 10

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 4:35:36 PM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

is that supposed to be untired or untried?

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Post #: 11

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 4:41:02 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

it's untried...thanks for pointing that out *smiles*

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 12

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 4:53:45 PM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

well, not being tired all the time is probably a very good trait as well.

(in reply to michaelGA2)

Post #: 13

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 4:54:59 PM

michaelGA2

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

does being tired of waiting or looking count?

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to heartfeltsub)

Post #: 14

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 5:01:02 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

believe it or not obedience does not really figure into it, in fact i have found that expecting obedience in the beginning is a sure fire way to not always hear a subs resistance and reservations...

obedience comes later and the boy is never forced, because in my world if he chooses not to obey he is with drawing consent, and when he does that we need to talk.

Thank you for saying this; it was both illuminating and thought-provoking for me. As a relatively "young" dominant, I find that I am still getting my rhythm in getting to know a submissive and bringing out what I want in him.

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 15

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 5:12:46 PM

MySweetSubmssive

Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

As to the OP ... there are lots of things that I want in a submissive -- intelligence, emotional intelligence, an ability to be open and vulnerable.

Good D/s feels like aikido: if we're moving together, then it's beautiful. If he's moving against me (struggling), this energy can also be used to bring him to a more submissive state. This takes a subtle type of connection.

Honesty, patience, sincerity in submission, a desire to please and genuine kind-heartedness are all important. I want him to make me laugh and be intriguing as a person -- I want to like him! He must have his own sense of self.

Most other things are negotiable.

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 16

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 6:26:45 PM

peacefulservant

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/14/2006
From: Jaffrey NH
Status: offline

First to all that have been so kind so far as to grace me with a response I whole heartedly thank you! I have found all of your replys helpful and only hope for more!

I would also like to point out something of Interest that I have noted. Where I have expected to see that most of you would like to see a submissive whos sense of self isn't so developed. So far its to the contrary you would like to see one that has a strong and defined sense of self.

Again on bended knees your peaceful servant.

_____________________________

"become at once vertuous in crime and criminal in virtue."
the Marquis de sade- 120 days of sadom.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 17

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 7:42:21 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

Ill share a little more on how it works for me, ...

When initiating an applicant i tell them they are not allowed to blindly obey, that is thier job to question things, to explore how they feel about things and to have the guts to disagree and dissent.

They actually get brownie points for disention....it shows me that they are strong and have healthy sense of self....much more important in a life partner, then obedience wouldn't you say?

I trust that the obedience based in our natural orientations will flow organically, but in application stage 1 and 2 i focus on them feeling safe, and feeling heard...

I still ask them to do things for me, lots of things, but i try to couch it as "it would please me if you"....that way they are consciously consenting....

We both can really feel my appreciation when they do the thing (which is always) because we both know they did not have to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

believe it or not obedience does not really figure into it, in fact i have found that expecting obedience in the beginning is a sure fire way to not always hear a subs resistance and reservations...

obedience comes later and the boy is never forced, because in my world if he chooses not to obey he is with drawing consent, and when he does that we need to talk.

Thank you for saying this; it was both illuminating and thought-provoking for me. As a relatively "young" dominant, I find that I am still getting my rhythm in getting to know a submissive and bringing out what I want in him.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 18

RE: What is your ideal submissive? - 7/17/2006 8:06:30 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: puella

May ugly Mistresses reply too ?

I'm just joking with ya! (And I am certainly no Mistress!)

And you certainly aren't no ugly, either.

(in reply to puella)

Post #: 19

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