First time as an owned slave

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slaveownedbyu -> First time as an owned slave (10/25/2015 11:33:57 AM)
I am since a while back beeing trained by my mistress, for later on beeing owned by a mistress that i should serve a worship. Eventually i will also be wearing a chastity belt. Is there any slaves out here that can share your experiences of how your first time as an owned slave was? Your first time with a chastity belt. I have been submissive for a long time but first now realized that i need a mistress and want to serve and worship. Experiences from other slaves is very welcome. Slaveownedbyu

Bunnicula -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/25/2015 11:54:01 AM)
I'm an owned slave - have been for about 4 years (relationship 6 years in total). We don't do chastity and, to be honest, we're a bit boring. We both have careers and family and all that good stuff. When we're at home I do the cooking and laundry and we all do the cleaning (he has padawans). Really, it's just life with a bit of a twist.

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/25/2015 12:07:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bunnicula ...Really, it's just life with a bit of a twist. Good post from the Bunny. This, I think, is where those stuck in hyper mode, floating on cloud 9 in their fantasies, don't seem to realize what real life is like for most people in BDSM relationships. They seem to think it's just like their intense fantasy all the time, 24/7, every waking moment; when it usually isn't. When they find out the realism, they get very disillusioned by it all and wonder why life doesn't match their visions. Chastity is something that can be observed without a belt, but that's just MHO. [sm=2cents.gif]

littleladybug -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/25/2015 12:26:13 PM)
Yeah, we don't do chastity either. Our life is really quite mundane- by all outward appearances, it's pretty vanilla. I'm his slave, he calls the shots. Kinky fuckery happens, but it's certainly not even close to a 24/7 thing.

DesFIP -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/25/2015 1:34:54 PM)
12 years here. It's not about the sexy fun times. It's about hearing him start coughing, and going to make more tea. That's anticipatory service. Dominance was him saying no potato salad with his sandwich. Yeah, I know, we're boring.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/25/2015 1:54:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP 12 years here. It's not about the sexy fun times. It's about hearing him start coughing, and going to make more tea. That's anticipatory service. Dominance was him saying no potato salad with his sandwich. Yeah, I know, we're boring. I'm genuinely curious, not trying to imply anything or devalue your experience or something, but I've never really understood what motivates somebody with your brand of submission, and so I'm trying to understand. From what I've read here over the years, I'm assuming that you have the type of personality that's just very service oriented in general towards the people that you care about, is that correct? So with that being the case, I'm assuming that you're the type of partner who, in a vanilla relationship, expresses her care also by doing such things, is that also correct? So basically, if you were with a vanilla lover, you'd still make him tea if he needed it, and still respect his wishes for no potato salad? If those assumptions are indeed correct, what, if anything is the emotional difference for you between your current relationship and a vanilla relationship? Do you feel different doing things for him because you both know and acknowledge that it is part of a D/s dynamic, or is the feeling around anticipatory service pretty much the same with him as it would be in a vanilla relationship?

zombiegurlsos -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/25/2015 4:26:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bunnicula I'm an owned slave - have been for about 4 years (relationship 6 years in total). We don't do chastity and, to be honest, we're a bit boring. We both have careers and family and all that good stuff. When we're at home I do the cooking and laundry and we all do the cleaning (he has padawans). Really, it's just life with a bit of a twist. Bunnicula does that chocolate raisin really come close to tasting like a chocolate raisin??? lol

zombiegurlsos -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/25/2015 4:38:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP 12 years here. It's not about the sexy fun times. It's about hearing him start coughing, and going to make more tea. That's anticipatory service. Dominance was him saying no potato salad with his sandwich. Yeah, I know, we're boring. Hi so in reading your profile... I know really how could I do that... [sm=dunno.gif] Your post mirrors your profile. So emotionally you have your expressions of D/s. Are you also BDSM, that is the unknown here, would you be willing to share that?

DesFIP -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/25/2015 6:49:19 PM)
Playwise, we're into bondage and sex. Yes, I do things for people whom I love. But I wouldn't allow a vanilla partner the authority over my life that I've given him. My experience was that a vanilla man enjoyed being able to have me do things for him, while at the same time looking down on me for doing so. I wasn't strong enough, I didn't hold my ground, even though he didn't actually want a partner who did those things. The d/s is in many ways less than it was, because we're both in our 60s now with chronic illnesses. And being in pain daily, managing various illnesses, saps your energy. So we had a lot more active dominance and submission 12 years ago when we met. The spoon theory, I'm afraid.

Bunnicula -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/26/2015 1:20:13 AM)
I'm like you DesFIP - I like to make the people I love happy and if I can do that by doing things for them, then I'll do it with a willing heart. However Master is the ONLY man who gets unquestioning obedience, but only because he is aware of my particular 'spoons' issue and won't ask more than I can safely give. For me, being a slave is about making his life as happy and comfortable as possible and the lovely result of that is that he makes my life so much richer too [:D]

peppermint -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/26/2015 8:04:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar I'm genuinely curious, not trying to imply anything or devalue your experience or something, but I've never really understood what motivates somebody with your brand of submission, and so I'm trying to understand. From what I've read here over the years, I'm assuming that you have the type of personality that's just very service oriented in general towards the people that you care about, is that correct? So with that being the case, I'm assuming that you're the type of partner who, in a vanilla relationship, expresses her care also by doing such things, is that also correct? So basically, if you were with a vanilla lover, you'd still make him tea if he needed it, and still respect his wishes for no potato salad? If those assumptions are indeed correct, what, if anything is the emotional difference for you between your current relationship and a vanilla relationship? Do you feel different doing things for him because you both know and acknowledge that it is part of a D/s dynamic, or is the feeling around anticipatory service pretty much the same with him as it would be in a vanilla relationship? It's funny how life makes you adjust to the changes it throws at you. At one time we were into needles, suturing, electo play, and a weekly beating for our mutual pleasure. Needles and suturing ended when his hands got too shaky. Electro play ended when he got a pacemaker. Physical problems including a recent broken hip have ended the weekly beatings as he is just too weak to use those floggers. Much like DesFIP, service has become a major portion of our D/s relationship. He still makes the big decisions in our lives but the play time is more subtle now. Heck, he's 74, 14 years, 3 months on a lung transplant that has the average life expectancy of 4.6 years. His health is to the point that he couldn't live alone if I weren't here. On top of it all, he is the most amazing man I know. If service can not be a part of a D/s relationship, then you are limiting the age of the participants. Rather than question the motives behind any service, just remember, everyone is getting older. Everyone will face health issues as they age. Would you want someone to tell you that your brand of BDSM at 70 years old was not equal to another's brand of BDSM at age 40?

UllrsIshtar -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/26/2015 10:53:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peppermint If service can not be a part of a D/s relationship, then you are limiting the age of the participants. Rather than question the motives behind any service, just remember, everyone is getting older. Everyone will face health issues as they age. Would you want someone to tell you that your brand of BDSM at 70 years old was not equal to another's brand of BDSM at age 40? I wasn't implying at all that service isn't a part of D/s, or not equal to other things going on. I'm curious about the motives because they different from what drives me, and different from a vanilla setup that looks the same at face value, but I've so far been unable to discern what exactly they are, and how they work, and what makes them different... which is why I asked. Like I said: there wasn't a value judgement implied in the question, just a lack of understanding.

littleladybug -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/26/2015 11:14:50 AM)
I am most definitely "service oriented", rather than "obedience oriented" (which I'm guessing is the distinction being made here?) I don't get the majority of my fulfillment from being told what to do. I like knowing my partner well enough to be able to anticipate what he wants and needs and to be able to provide that. My heart soars when he says "thanks for taking such good care of me". Yes, I enjoy taking care of people I care about. What makes this different than a "vanilla relationship" in my mind is the simple fact that I have given him authority over most aspects of my life. With that being the contrast with "vanilla relationships", I really don't see any sort of difference between those relationships like mine and those that are more "obedience focused".

peppermint -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/26/2015 1:21:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar I wasn't implying at all that service isn't a part of D/s, or not equal to other things going on. I'm curious about the motives because they different from what drives me, and different from a vanilla setup that looks the same at face value, but I've so far been unable to discern what exactly they are, and how they work, and what makes them different... which is why I asked. Life is going to throw you some curve balls as you play the game. We started out as a masochist and a sadist. Now we enjoy what we can do and don't worry about those things we can no longer do. Most of all we have fun and laugh. As to figuring out anything to do with people the word "exactly" can never be used. We are much too complicated for that. It's like trying to define slave and submissive. It can not be done to everyone's satisfaction.

sexyred1 -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/26/2015 2:05:36 PM)
peppermint and DesFip make great points. Too many people think being into D/s is a magical fairytale where real life doesn't intrude. Some younger people forget that you do get older, get health issues, etc. The key is commitment and adaptability, which is what I believe makes a successful relationship.

DesFIP -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/26/2015 3:27:26 PM)
I'm the first to agree that Ishtar's having a lot more fun than I am. But all we can do is roll with life's punches. The Man was diagnosed with a heart problem two months back. He's been put on beta blockers and warfarin. So no cutting my clothes off with a knife, because if he cuts himself he may need to go to the hospital to stop the bleeding. His strength, which was extraordinary, is now half of what it was. Beta blockers prevent adrenaline release. We also have adult kids back home. And their schedule is such that by the time everybody's asleep, we're too tired to play. We do what we can, when we can. But he's still the person I can trust to be there when the shit hits the fan, the one who makes excellent decisions. And that matters most to me.

UllrsIshtar -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/26/2015 3:56:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I'm the first to agree that Ishtar's having a lot more fun than I am. But all we can do is roll with life's punches. Oh I totally get that medical issues getting in the way. Ullrs been dealing with a long time chemical imbalance caused depression, and his previous doc fucked up his meds so bad that things got rough for a while. After about a 2 years of and on D/s and virtually no play at all (to my standards at least), we changed docs, got stuff back on track and now things are going a lot better (and are a lot more fun). But it's exactly that 2 year dry spell that leads me to these questions. I see you all hitting these issues and y'all are just unwavering submissive. You defer to him, because of ... stuff I don't quite grasp, even when the D/s that once was changes to a lessor? intensity. For me it doesn't work that way. If he doesn't step up, and is on his game, and "on" all the time, I am not submissive at all, and I don't obey, and I don't follow his lead. That doesn't mean I don't bring him tea when he needs it though, without him needing to ask. It's just that my motivations for doing so transform from "obedience" to "being his loving and supporting partner caring for him when he needs it". And, again the way it works for me, is that I stop identifying as submissive, or even his submissive when I'm in the "caring supportive partner" role. To me, that's a leadership position in that moment. He's not capable of leading us in that moment for whatever reason, so I step up and 'relieve' him of that burden and step up and lead instead. Odd thing is that I suspect that what we're both doing, as far as how it would be observed from the outside, doesn't seem all that different. We're both bringing him tea when he needs it without him having to order us to do so. But for you, that action strongly ties into your internal identity as a submissive, and to me, that action is foreign to how I identify as a submissive... which makes me curious about how two actions so similar, with two people who both identify so similarly in ideal circumstances, ends up having such different effects on the both of us.

J0K3ER -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/27/2015 1:32:16 AM)
let me know when that Ullrs dies.

zombiegurlsos -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/27/2015 1:51:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: J0K3ER let me know when that Ullrs dies. Really! what are you thinking? nobody deserves such a comment

spellslave -> RE: First time as an owned slave (10/27/2015 5:09:27 PM)
I've had intimacy denied to me before, but never reinforced with chastity belts and so forth. I live with my Master, and will state that so far as our interactions go, it is probably 80% vanilla and 20% dynamic. I work full-time, he is a student and sometimes depression on his end and illness on mine make constantly acting on the dynamic and bringing it to the forefront less of a priority than just being a caring, attentive partner without the need to kneel and say 'spank me'. But I do tasks around the house to compensate; making the morning coffee, food errands and the like that can be taken as just normal loving vanilla actions if they weren't delivered as orders.

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