I'm getting too gawdammned old for this shit....

I'm getting too gawdammned old for this shit.... (Full Version)

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LookieNoNookie -> I'm getting too gawdammned old for this shit.... (10/26/2015 3:57:29 PM)
I'm 112 years old now. I've been on CollarMe/CollarSpace.com since 1937 (don't give me any shit you hoverboarding space age punks....I was reading email by candle light long before you whippersnappers were old enough to puke on your smart phones! I did the moon walk before we even WENT to the fucking moon!@!!! Don't tell ME how it is!@!!!) and I haven't found my cuckolding Mistress. There was a time...late 90's if I recall....found someone magical....but....shit happens....the magnetic fields reversed....and she became a sub....I had to shoot her (it was ugly....left a huuuge mess....covered three acres if I recall). And now....here I am....barely able to walk....still paying my damn taxes.....and what do I get out of it? Well....I'll tell you....an anti grav dialysis machine (which operates off of my own protons)....and....in my earlier years.....how the fuck many of you ever had to walk uphill (BOTH FUCKING WAYS) to school.....on shoes you had to tie yourself???? Yeah....not many I'd imagine....you with your self tying shoes, and toilet paper that levitates right at your butt by simply saying...."HEY!!!! Buttwipe!!!!". (We didn't have that when I was a kid). (I actually invented that when I was 28 in 1931...but no one had come up with voice activated TP rolls yet....I was always ahead of my time). I still got all my teeth though. And some hair I bought from a vegan grocer in Milwaukee (on sale) in 1974 (that was a rocking year). So....I'm here to tell you.... The last few weeks have been rough (seriously....it's not been good). And....time is running out so..... Ladies....I've got a 1999 Chrysler mini van (paid for), a trailer with VERY nice wood paneling (a few of which could use some staples or a glue gun), several reproduction prints of Picasso (none signed.....actually...I'm not even sure they're Picasso's....but every damn one of them is framed). I'm thinking I have weeks at best....hours at most. This could be your shot.

Lucylastic -> RE: I'm getting too gawdammned old for this shit.... (10/26/2015 5:13:35 PM)
Well i offered to move in with you if harper won....you never made a move to make it happen....im not only disapointed, im miffed...miffed!

DesFIP -> RE: I'm getting too gawdammned old for this shit.... (10/26/2015 7:50:40 PM)
I've got a 99 Dodge van myself. Well, whatever the rust hasn't eaten.

MrRodgers -> RE: I'm getting too gawdammned old for this shit.... (10/28/2015 7:31:40 AM)
Hell, the only way I got into this is as Fred Fuckstone when Wilma finally came to understand where her only regular source of protein 'came' from. And then because Barney was such a sissy cuck...had to service Betty too. Sorta like your neighborly poly that I never even expected let alone felt 'equipped' for. Those times really drained on me. I mean it was hard kinkroids. We didn't gorge on three meals a day, we ate every fucking thing we could all day, everyday. It wasn't 'What's for dinner honey ?" It was...IS their ANY fucking dinner wench ? Wilma says "Well NO dickhead because you didn't 'hunter and gather' enough bitch." "You want a fucking pot roast, then go kill a damn cow." Then Alley Oop came buy only to nag whatever he could and had to feed his wench too. I asked what happened to his bad ass dinosaur ? Yep, had to eat him too. Oh and we had nothing but leaves and just hoped it wasn't poison something or other. Too bad asshole if you picked the wrong one. Seems there was never a moments rest. So count yourself lucky man and that you at least still have something...'to hold on to.'

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