disabled d/s (Full Version)

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MistressCalico -> disabled d/s (11/29/2004 3:41:44 PM)

I am in over a hundred groups and have noticed something in most the
d/s groups i'm in.
the majoraty of d/s groups tend to avoid the topic of those in the
lifestyle who have some form of disability.
it's as if they do not count or is a dark secret. i make no secret
about my handicap and i do not let it stop me from enjoying this
lifestyle,i just have to find diffrent ways to do things.
to those who think you can not enjoy play or serving because of a
disability are either to closed minded to see the beauty and strength
it takes to be a part of the lifestyle or you think its to much
responcibility,i say you may be missing out on the best sub or dom
you could have.
do not disreguard someone for what they can not do as not being
submissive or dom enough,look at them for what they can do and what
they have to offer.





GoddessJules -> RE: disabled d/s (11/29/2004 3:53:43 PM)

As per your collarme.com profile, it states that
quote:

Hello I am Mistress Calico.
I am a strictly online domme with many intrests.


So I'm wondering how it matters if you have a disability if you are a strictly online domme?



MistressDREAD -> RE: disabled d/s (11/29/2004 4:29:28 PM)

Mi lookz pon
evrry sum bodyz
heer az diss abled
kause non of we
axcept ed bi
so si itee...JMO



proudsub -> RE: disabled d/s (11/29/2004 7:50:39 PM)

Here are some previous threads on disabilities:

disability

date a crippled to be

disabled master here



sterlingsweet -> RE: disabled d/s (11/29/2004 11:09:48 PM)

You belong to over 100 D/s groups?...WOW! [&:]



diamonddan -> RE: disabled d/s (11/30/2004 7:37:53 AM)

Calico:

I have had the same experience, I am disabled, not to the extent that I cannot function by Myself, but I do have limits on how long I can stand, on walking without an assistive device {cane or walker}, and vision that keeps Me from operating a vehicle.

I am a member of numerous Yahoo Groups and the subject of disabled Dominant or submissive/slave is rarely broached. At times I fear many facing some form of physical limitations feel T/they might be ostrichized if T/they be honest and upfront about T/themselves.

I cannot understand this previaling attitude, as W/we all come from different backgrounds, all have some form of baggage, and A/all say T/they are interested in this lifestyle and have a open mind.

Thanks for brings this into the light {shades My eyes as I am light sensitive, lol}

Distinctive Gentleman {diamonddan}



GoddessJules -> RE: disabled d/s (11/30/2004 8:18:34 AM)

I'm not going to try and trivialize anyone's disablility or to suggest that diabled people are second class citizens. But wouldn't you say that it is a matter of personal preference? Some people even have a preference down to hair color, it may be a superficial one. . .but one they have none the less.

For me personally, it isn't a matter of "harping" on someone's disability. . .it is if they can actually serve me in a manner that I want to be served. One of my good friends decided to "keep an open mind" and accepted a disabled boy on a provisionary basis. (We won't get into the fact that he disclosed this the night before they were to meet. . .that belongs more in a thread called "Honest Disclosure.") The problem wasn't his disablility per se. . .but how he limited himself as far as it came to her using him. I won't go into detail, but almost any chore or errand was something he couldn't do or wouldn't try to do. *BUT* he was able and eager to provide "oral service."

I'm not suggesting that ALL are like this. But just as those "niche" interests, you are probably drawing from a smaller pool of people willing to accept the challenges of working with someone that is disabled.

You mentioned that the subject of disability doesn't come up very often in the groups you are involved with. . .well, time for you to start them or participate in them and work at keeping the issue on the front burner (just like you did here.) I'm sure that it will raise awareness and sensitivity. I haven't had the opportunity to really read/learn/experience it so I'll try to keep an open mind. . and learn as much from it as I can.

Good luck

Jules




feline -> RE: disabled d/s (11/30/2004 8:31:55 AM)

Well I can honestly say this doesn't apply to me. My first Dom (rt) was disabled. The thing is, I never saw him that way.

I must agree with you on your comment of "To those who think you can not enjoy play or serving because of a disability are either to closed minded to see the beauty and strength it takes to be a part of the lifestyle or you think it's to much responcibility,i say you may be missing out on the best sub or dom you could have."

It would be indeed sad if someone missed out on a wonderfull person just because they were judging their abilities strictly from the outside.

Take care,


[image]local://upfiles/17000/92DB5034DF29452DAD94AE9C5B3DA4B4.gif[/image]



Nvernilla -> RE: disabled d/s (11/30/2004 1:25:51 PM)

A lot depends on the definition of disability you use. Some of the people could be construed as being disabled by their negative attitude about people with disabilities. If they pass up a good person because of a disability they are the loser here. Isn't that a kind of poetic justice? LOL Mike



srahfox -> RE: disabled d/s (11/30/2004 3:21:42 PM)

Would I turn up someone just decause of a dissability. No. Not if that person could still give me what I was looking for. If you can tie me up and beat the crap out of me, I really don't care what the rest of you has problems with. However I would take a long time to get to know that person first. Possibly months.



MistressCalico -> RE: disabled d/s (12/15/2004 9:29:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessJules

well, time for you to start them or participate in them and work at keeping the issue on the front burner (just like you did here.) I'm sure that it will raise awareness and sensitivity.



i have done just that and in 2 days got 20 members. some may hide but not me.



MsDiana18102 -> RE: disabled d/s (12/15/2004 11:37:03 AM)

Hello Everyone,

I am not new to CM, but I am to the message boards. Calico, is there a way for you to give Me the url to the site you have created? I became disabled four years ago. I do go to local Gatherings in My general area. To 'look' at Me, one would never know I have a pain disability. Since I am a Sadist, I do believe karma with her twisted sense of humor, wanted Me to feel what it's like on the other side ~laughs~

What I have come to realize is that the Life you lead so perfect one day, with the snap of fate's finger, can be taken away so quickly. People that are 'healthy' do not seem to realize this can happen so quickly. There are times I am still in denial.

What bothers Me the most, is for a Life that prides itself on being so openminded and honest, has the greatest problem accepting change.



MistressCalico -> RE: disabled d/s (12/15/2004 1:18:37 PM)




quote:

Calico, is there a way for you to give Me the url to the site you have created?


i mailed it to you



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