Age Gap

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Wandering11 -> Age Gap (10/27/2015 9:28:02 PM)
Hello Everyone, I have noticed over time that everyone has a different set of ages they are comfortable with. I know this is different for everyone and everyone has their own reasons. My question is would you consider someone who is younger then your age range if they are mature beyond their years? Secondly how would one best demonstrate maturity online? Through a profile, messages or are there other aspects you look to? Thank You Wandering

NightMistress09 -> RE: Age Gap (10/27/2015 9:37:54 PM)
So long as they are of LEGAL age I'm good I admit though when I got involved with a younger man it wasn't easy it still isn't sometimes he's like an annoying younger brother. Really it's more about compatibility than maturity.

LadyPact -> RE: Age Gap (10/27/2015 9:55:31 PM)
The best s-type I ever had was twelve years younger than me. I'm sure I made folks half sick because I was in love and all of that crap. (Not something most people are used to from me.) Had I not known him in person, it probably never would have happened. A random guy of the same age sending me an email on the net probably would have gotten deleted. There's an article that was posted to a thread some time ago about what tends to happen in relation to information bombardment that happens a lot on sites like this. It goes something like people are more likely to discount based on stats outside their range (older, younger) because those numbers are what come across first. There are so many profiles and emails that after a while, it's just easier to make those quick judgements based on that first block of the profile and not even the text. I happen to be rather cynical. I don't think anybody can prove to me via online that they are more mature than their years. To me, that's an in person thing that you have to demonstrate.

BitaTruble -> RE: Age Gap (10/27/2015 11:23:16 PM)
~fr~ If you are mature just be yourself. It will show. As to age.. I am not a mistress, just a sadist so I play with targets and bottoms and somewhere between legal and dead works for me.

spellslave -> RE: Age Gap (10/28/2015 3:12:13 AM)
My longest relationship thus far was with someone 44 years my senior. The only reason it ended as soon as it did, was because he died. Certainly in hindsight there were issues that would've come out as problems sooner or later (transphobia, racism and homophobia to give three examples) but, still. But whenever anyone asks me about it, I always stress that he was the exception. Ordinarily I'm not comfortable being in a relationship with someone over 20 years older than me, and I don't date younger. But the spark was there, and I am not one to ignore it. My partner-owner now is 5 years older than me. So quite the contrast! I have no issues with age gaps so long as there is no physical or emotional abuse going on (that isn't consented to).

Greta75 -> RE: Age Gap (10/28/2015 5:25:41 AM)
I have like this thing that I need a man to be older than me, but that's because I married a younger man and that didn't work out. But I also tend to like men significantly older now. Just that, men in their 30's, near my age never seem to sync mentally with me at the moment. I prefer age gap to stay below 20 years though. But end of the day, I believe in exceptions, so if the right one came with the wrong age, but everything right, I can not worry about the age rule.

LuminousFire -> RE: Age Gap (10/28/2015 10:29:44 AM)
I typical date plus or minus 10 difference max. Usually its less than 5. Age (legal) should not matter and that is all I have ever said always on the matter throughout time...i think they all said that above me some good advice - see i say that at times :P (chardonnay bribes do help) Joke my tme costs nothing to those who do not waste it, or others time. Two exceptions 1. Where the younger is vulnerable - agist Iknow but when they are olde they are set, does not matter how hard you try...try you must always. 2. Predators who have a penchant for youngish and the vulnerable and emotionally damaged. As for perceptions of age gaps - thanks to the internet all women believe they look 10-25 years younger than they do in reality. Thanks to younger men (women their age would not touch them with a pointy stick) they typically see 35 plus as desperate and easy fodder and woo them with show us your tits doll and 86 you say nooo way you could pass as 25 (my arse less they huffed vast quantities of turpentine). Now, the kick to the nut sacks is, these olde and desperate hag like women would rather talk to 100 of them rather one of me. And so it begins said the vorlon. A cycle..i have briefly talked to some withered olde hags who believe themselves a fountain of youth – the firmly believe it and when I ask why do you think like that who told you that. Its is not a nice or fair cycle I am no fan..ive worded it with the words I have as makes me smile. (and i am an olde hag with a cat problem – for balance) Would I consider someone younger than 10 years – yes (45 to followers of my rambles) 11 yes 12 yes Then I would think about it. Would I consider someone 18 19 20 21 Older does not matter. Strange why younger does to me perhaps i perceive them as vulnerable. Younger matters to most i have found that out...why they feel grater value. I do not like selfish people in equality and custard donaughts (blasphemy)

MistressMarie50 -> RE: Age Gap (11/1/2015 10:40:10 AM)
I'm open on age range to a point, but that point is not something that's easy to quantify. Since I want a partner who will share some or most of my social life, I do look for someone with life experience that is compatible to mine. And while I accept that some 20-somethings are clear in their leanings and desires, I personally find most of that age group unformed in a life experience sense. Many dominants like somewhat younger partners as they have a desire to mold. I don't in that way. A certain amount of maturity can be exhibited online by: - Using fully formed sentences as a form of communication. - Demonstrating reading comprehension and responding to a person's profile with depth. - Demonstrating some understanding of basic social etiquette. Other than that, I think in-person is the only other useful way to demonstrate one's maturity. It has a lot to do with composure, emotional intuitiveness, and social interaction. Marie

ExiledTyrant -> RE: Age Gap (11/1/2015 10:48:31 AM)
At some point you leave Barney behind for new stuff, eventually the Marquise De Sade becomes a cool read and an inspiration... age isn't entirely relevant, how you relate is. That said, is there a 20 yo that isn't going to make me want to stick my head in the oven? Maybe, rare, but still maybe... but there are plenty of 30, 40, 50 yo's that make me want to stick my head in the oven, but the older they get the less inspirational for my untimely death they become. It's about the connection, not age, and if a 20 yo came along and we connected famously, yep, I'd take it, same with a 30, 40, 50 etc... Jus sayin

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Age Gap (11/1/2015 6:59:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wandering11 Hello Everyone, I have noticed over time that everyone has a different set of ages they are comfortable with. I know this is different for everyone and everyone has their own reasons. My question is would you consider someone who is younger then your age range if they are mature beyond their years? Secondly how would one best demonstrate maturity online? Through a profile, messages or are there other aspects you look to? Thank You Wandering *Excellent* question Wandering. I've recently pondered that question and.....at 57....the age difference I've found myself most comfortable with is....."has tits".

Wandering11 -> RE: Age Gap (11/2/2015 3:13:17 PM)
Thank You all for the responses! Gave me a lot of perspective to reflect on. Cheers

MistrixMsE -> RE: Age Gap (11/2/2015 10:39:39 PM)
Until my relationship with my current alpha, I even thought it weird taking a paid pro session with anyone who could have gone to high school. With my son (despite being of age). Within 3 years of him & it felt pervy in a bad way lol. Totally blown that out of the water with my current, but I will say after 2 afghanistan deployments, he really does have a much older than his years maturity. I still see the sweet boy in him though, and somehow, it doesn't 'ruin it' for me. Just reminds me that his innocence wasn't decimated by his experience. Our mutual experiences with PTSD are also bonding. My distance from my trauma, and hypnosis certification for trauma work gives me a greater purpose in our relationship too.... one I gladly chose to shoulder during this year of consideration. Sometimes the universe throws a curve, and those previous assumptions about age go out the window. I highly doubt without those commonalities that I would have gone there tho.

wannapleez -> RE: Age Gap (11/6/2015 3:43:42 PM)
To be honest, my standards are different between the vanilla world and the BDSM lifestyle. In the vanilla world, age is just a number. My own personal experiences have ranged from 16 years younger than me to 23 years older than me. But I have found that many (not all) younger Dommes tend to think that being a Domme simply entails being a bitch. (And yes, I know that there are some male subs who are looking for nothing more. That's just coincidence, not a proper outlook.) So while it's not a hard-n-fast rule, I tend to not even bother looking into a Domme who is 15 or more years my junior. As to how to express maturity online, I think it's the same as in real life -- conversation. I once met a woman who was almost a quarter century younger (I was 45 and she was 22). She was sexy as hell, but I was even more attracted to her mind/heart. If we had been chatting online (with no visual and no indication of age), I would have pegged her as at least 35, and probably older. We were both considering a serious relationship together, but then ran into some bumps that caused us to pump the brakes. I'm glad we did, as we may have totally screwed up our friendship. I think the depth of the relationship also plays a big factor. If I'm going to be fuck buddies (or the BDSM equivalent of that casual-ness in a relationship), then it doesn't matter to me as much if she doesn't know that John Lennon and Paul McCartney used to be in a band together.

TheCabal -> RE: Age Gap (11/6/2015 3:55:47 PM)
I think it was said before, but really, it's about personal compatibility rather than age. I grew up in a household where dad was 14 years older than mom, so it's always been relatively normal for me. One really shouldn't think too much about the whole outliving your partner either - death is too unpredictable to worry about in that context. It'll come get you when it's ready for you, so don't pass on an opportunity for a good match. In my personal life, my former slave was 10 years older than me... which did make Daddy-daughter play incredibly amusing. I used to like to joke that she was the world's only 50 year old 10 year old. She had the spirit of an eternal child.

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