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What does it feel like to be a Master? - 10/28/2015 12:43:56 PM

louisboy

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/13/2014
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What does it feel like to be a Master? I've asked that question to the various Masters I had, and they all give me the same blank look. I've asked that question in a bunch of chat rooms and forums- nobody ever responds.
I asked that questions in the "Ask a Master" Forum here. I did get ONE response from someone, who was on meds; and if not, he clearly needed them. I'm sure if you asked a slave what does it feel like to be a slave, you'd get pages of responses. I remember asking this of my first Master, whom I loved and adored. He gave me that blank stare. And I thought I kissed your ass for over a year. I had to know all kinds of things about you to be your slave. I even knew what your favorite brand of ketchup was, to how you liked your dick sucked. But you go blank when you're asked how you feel about being a Master. And they all go blank. I wouldn't do anything differently, but I'm just amused by their reaction to that question.

Post #: 1

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 10/28/2015 12:56:39 PM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
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Hi there!

It feels like being me, it's just who I am.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to louisboy)

Post #: 2

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 10/28/2015 3:05:59 PM

sweetieDA

Posts: 129
Joined: 4/3/2015
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Doms go blank when you ask them many things. I find most Doms are unreflective and don't give BDSM much thought, whereas most submissives are highly reflective and want to think / talk about it all the time.

It's like, I keep some loooong journals on my slavery, because my Master likes it. But do I get anything similar back in return? Nope.

(in reply to louisboy)

Post #: 3

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 10/28/2015 3:24:36 PM

freedomdwarf1

Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
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I think the question is far too wide and vague to provide a specific answer and everyone is different.

I guess the 'feeling' is much the same except that it comes from being in charge/control rather than the one being controlled.
You get the same sense of being and the same sense of satisfaction(?) at doing what you are best at.

You are a 'Master' because.... well, you just are and that's what you want to be.
Essentially, it's no different to being a slave when you are one and want to be.

I'm not so sure you'd get pages of responses just for the same question of slaves except that maybe slaves are less aloof and more likely to talk about it.
That, in and of itself, would be a personality trait as to whether they would be chatty about their station in life or not.
People either talk or they don't - I don't think it is particularly a gender thing or a sexual orientation thing or what side of the kneel you fit into.

its all much of a muchness - same target, different source.
It's whatever gets your boat floating or trips your switches.

_____________________________

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”

George Orwell, 1903-1950

(in reply to louisboy)

Post #: 4

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 10/28/2015 3:28:37 PM

spellslave

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/16/2015
From: England
Status: offline

You could try asking;
What are your motivations for dominating others?
How did you first discover this preference?
Have you ever been mentored or taught by another dominant?
Have you ever doubted how you identify as a dominant?
What title do you use and why, if any?

They might at least help to narrow the field somewhat!

_____________________________

Fetlife: spellslave

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)

Post #: 5

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 10/28/2015 3:58:35 PM

MrRodgers

Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
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I don't know, I am thinking what all of those dark brown cuties told me, shouting out their windows in downtown Detroit..."come on in here white boy...feels real good."

_____________________________

You can be a murderous tyrant and the world will remember you fondly but fuck one horse and you will be a horse fucker for all eternity. Catherine the Great

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.
J K Galbraith

(in reply to spellslave)

Post #: 6

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 10/28/2015 6:39:52 PM

dreamlady

Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

It feels like being me, it's just who I am.

Precisely. I would like to narrow the focus of OP's question to this: What does it feel like to be an Owner? (to minimize ambiguity)

It feels exhilarating to own a much-valued and highly prized piece of property.
It's like being the sole owner of a coveted treasure chest, when you find that precious jewel in the rough. You want to guard it, lovingly.

There can be a weighty sense of responsibility, but the rewards greatly outweigh minor inconveniences (or should outweigh any drawbacks).

As long as both Owner and owned pet/slave are well-matched, things should unfold organically and appreciatively with each passing moment.

If they aren't, then it can be more akin to a match made in Hell, and both parties should make a clean break and part ways post-haste.

DreamLady

Edit - clarity

< Message edited by dreamlady -- 10/28/2015 6:47:33 PM >

_____________________________

Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti

(in reply to crazyml)

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RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 10/29/2015 4:40:12 PM

louisboy

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/13/2014
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As you guessed it, the responses where more discussion was needed were from mostly subs. There were two others, though. One was the verbal "blank stare", it's the " I'm me". This is the most frequent answer masters give you. It's like they were asked to discuss why the Higgs proton weighs 99% of a boson. And the other answer you get is the more verbal " it just like how you feel". An example is : "When I have to punish you, I feel just like how you feel". At least this Master is trying, but the master is telling you "what ever you feel, ah, ah, that's what I feel". He doesn't have the faintest clue. Again, I'm in NO WAY trying to put anybody down. People are who they are.
Still, it'd be nice to know what it's like to be a master.

(in reply to dreamlady)

Post #: 8

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 10/29/2015 5:26:16 PM

mymaster121

Posts: 28
Joined: 3/15/2013
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How does it feel to be a master? It feels natural. As in to be or not to be. ... And by being free to be who we really are, and actually knowing how to awaken that in another, we end the heartaches and the thousand natural miseries that most human beings have to endure just trying to die young - as late as possible. ;-)

Attachment (1)

(in reply to louisboy)

Post #: 9

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 10/29/2015 6:45:08 PM

littleclip

Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
Status: offline

how does it feel to be a slave or pet or little ect. each will say that they feel like themselves, as a slave I am proud of my owner and love her unconditionally I have no limits or safe words with her she knows me and can tell what I am feeling with out me saying anything, and as she knows me well and as I trust her implicitly I will do anything she asks. I am happy to be the one that offers his submission to her alone so she can be dominant
it is in my bondage to her that I am free

_____________________________

currently owned by LadyAthena15805
i will always come to the call of those i love

(in reply to mymaster121)

Post #: 10

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 10/30/2015 8:06:42 AM

dreamlady

Posts: 737
Joined: 9/13/2007
From: Western MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spellslave

They might at least help to narrow the field somewhat!

Along the same lines as submissives getting confused by being given (new) instructions which are not clearly stated,
there are some of us who pause when asked a question which can have a dozen underlying meanings.
In both cases, a follow-up question for clarification is called for.

Depending on how you time your question, a Dominant may not feel like trying to figure out where you're coming from.
You may be asking Dominants who tend to be less articulate. This may have to do with the type of Masters you attract.
If you have asked Masters who have not owned you, then it's really not any of your business because you are using the "feel" word.
Did it ever occur to you that there are Dominants who might consider this to be a personal question? Context is everything.
Men tend to be less in touch with their feelings, and even those who aren't may not "feel" like discussing their feelings with somebody else's slave.

You may want to rephrase your question, break it down into two questions (good luck with that), and be more specific.
Part of being specific is by making it clear why you are asking in the first place.
Merely asking somebody something one-on-one does not necessarily entitle you to engage others into a heart-to-heart discussion given any number of circumstances.

Btw, I don't say this due to which side of the kneel you are on, but it's possible that could also be a factor in your not getting the kinds of responses you are looking for.

DreamLady

_____________________________

Love is born with the pleasure of looking at each other, it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other, it is concluded with the impossibility of separation. ~José Marti

(in reply to spellslave)

Post #: 11

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 11/2/2015 8:39:39 AM

Wanderling

Posts: 39
Joined: 10/14/2015
Status: offline

I suspect it's sort of like the feeling you get when you buy a boat, or a bike, or a fast car.
You are in control.
You ride it out the way you want, but always within the limits of the property because you care about your property.

(in reply to dreamlady)

Post #: 12

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 11/3/2015 10:21:32 PM

BigTruckDaddy

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/1/2015
Status: offline

For myself the "feelings" evolve with the person I am with. I am naturally a Dominate person. I suppose I most closely relate to being a Daddy/Dom. I feel compassion, passion, love, joy, anger and ....... like every other person. If I am in a situation where I don't feel the respect or whatever feeling I am looking to feel at any given moment then I put things in motion to change my environment, situation, persons behavior or whatever needs to be done. At the point in a sexual situation where The person I am with reaches his or her's hard limits then I cut off play. Every person is different in the Dom world just as in the sub world. In my own case character matters in all things. If I am not feeling respect then I am not into it.

I was married to a sub once that was kind of bratty. I was a proud MaMa's boy. I loved my Mother and told her every day. My ex did not get along so good with my Mom. I was cool with that and told her so as a person just does not get along with everyone they meet. I had expressed many times to her that her feelings toward my Mother were okay as long as she did not under any circumstances disrespect my Mother. I had 2 kids with my ex and we had an exciting sex life in the context of our chosen relationship. We got along well together and played our rolls as much as our young lives would allow with 2 young children. I was a Daddy and she was a submissive diapered baby girl. She and I both had hard limits. I respected hers and until that one day, she respected mine. For example one of hers was "No hitting outside the butt" another was "Nothing to jeopardize her work". These are just a couple examples. I had my own list too. One was "No Disrespecting my Mother".. She could feel however she wanted and even express that feeling. But I would not tolerate her disrespecting my Mother to her face. My Mother had her faults, but none deserving disrespect. My ex was at my Mother's house with the kids and I. Her and my mother got into a argument over what kind of bean to use for chili. My Mother said my ex was being silly. My ex call my mother a stupid cunt. I filed for divorce the next day. My ex argued that it was a one time deal. My argument was that she had violated a sacred trust in a paper we both signed. It was unresolved and I never slept with her under the same roof again.

One could argue that my feelings over rode good sense. But in that moment, for myself, how I felt about my ex changed forever. I am not given to emotional swings or imbalance. Feeling are not always fact. But when trust and respect erode to that point for myself the relationship becomes toxic. I have no regrets about ending or marriage based on what I was feeling. Them feelings are as important today as they were then. My Mother passed and my ex tried to rekindle the relationship recently. That level of disrespect does not erode over time for myself even though it has been 20+ years. I feel as though I could not trust her.

I wish her no harm or ill will. I have never spoke ill of her to our children who are adults now. But I also do not forsake my own values and character for the sake of good kink.

In the perfect situation my feelings as a Dom are directly in line with my subs feelings in their chosen position. When I go against my natural instincts as a Dom things don't work out for me on a deeper level than kink. I have seen the same thing happen before my eyes when a sub tries topping from the bottom. It is all like a carefully choreographed dance and when one person is out of step everyone notices including the dancers.

To be a Master feels right as long as I as the master is doing the next right thing.

In closing I will say that as a Master if I am ever feeling emotionally unfit for any reason then it is best for me to step aside from that role. I think the same can be said for a sub. If I am not in a good position to identify how I feel and why I usually need to step back and take a close look at me.

Character counts!

(in reply to Wanderling)

Post #: 13

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 11/5/2015 2:55:35 AM

areallivehuman

Posts: 277
Joined: 1/16/2010
Status: offline

Feels like...........victory.

(in reply to BigTruckDaddy)

Post #: 14

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 11/5/2015 5:39:01 PM

louisboy

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/13/2014
Status: offline

Thank you for all, who replied. I know it's a really dumb question. Ya just want to find out how it is on the other side of the tracks.

(in reply to areallivehuman)

Post #: 15

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 11/9/2015 11:57:37 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

It feels like any other leadership role. It has responsibility, weight, accountability.
It also has joy, pride, happiness.
But mostly it can be encompassed in one word, "Mine"

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to louisboy)

Post #: 16

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 11/9/2015 3:08:49 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigTruckDaddy
I had expressed many times to her that her feelings toward my Mother were okay as long as she did not under any circumstances disrespect my Mother.
Character counts!

I find it fascinating that your boundaries were that your wife was respectful towards your mother, but not that your mother was respectful toward your wife.

But I would never have been foolish enough to marry a man who was clear that he loved his mother more than his wife.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to BigTruckDaddy)

Post #: 17

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 11/10/2015 11:58:30 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigTruckDaddy
I had expressed many times to her that her feelings toward my Mother were okay as long as she did not under any circumstances disrespect my Mother.
Character counts!

I find it fascinating that your boundaries were that your wife was respectful towards your mother, but not that your mother was respectful toward your wife.

But I would never have been foolish enough to marry a man who was clear that he loved his mother more than his wife.

GMTA

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 18

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 11/10/2015 1:25:48 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: louisboy

As you guessed it, the responses where more discussion was needed were from mostly subs. There were two others, though. One was the verbal "blank stare", it's the " I'm me". This is the most frequent answer masters give you. It's like they were asked to discuss why the Higgs proton weighs 99% of a boson. And the other answer you get is the more verbal " it just like how you feel". An example is : "When I have to punish you, I feel just like how you feel". At least this Master is trying, but the master is telling you "what ever you feel, ah, ah, that's what I feel". He doesn't have the faintest clue. Again, I'm in NO WAY trying to put anybody down. People are who they are.
Still, it'd be nice to know what it's like to be a master.

Unless you want to be a master, I think it's more important to understand the nuances of YOUR particular one.

Otherwise what do you care about the general thoughts of others?

Also, remember not everyone is able to capture and communicate their feelings succinctly. It's like trying to explain what primal feels like.

(in reply to louisboy)

Post #: 19

RE: What does it feel like to be a Master? - 11/13/2015 2:04:14 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: louisboy

What does it feel like to be a Master? I've asked that question to the various Masters I had, and they all give me the same blank look. I've asked that question in a bunch of chat rooms and forums- nobody ever responds.
I asked that questions in the "Ask a Master" Forum here. I did get ONE response from someone, who was on meds; and if not, he clearly needed them. I'm sure if you asked a slave what does it feel like to be a slave, you'd get pages of responses. I remember asking this of my first Master, whom I loved and adored. He gave me that blank stare. And I thought I kissed your ass for over a year. I had to know all kinds of things about you to be your slave. I even knew what your favorite brand of ketchup was, to how you liked your dick sucked. But you go blank when you're asked how you feel about being a Master. And they all go blank. I wouldn't do anything differently, but I'm just amused by their reaction to that question.

I tried looking for the query on the "Ask A Master" board. I couldn't find it.

Most of the time, I admit I'm in the blank stare category. Not because I don't know. It's because I don't articulate it well.

If you're looking for some flippant answer that somebody can describe in a chat room in a sentence or two, you failed. And so did they. Somebody slamming their dick on the table doesn't make them a Master. Real Mastery happens above the waistline, sunshine.

What does Mastery feel like?

Part of it is about feeling like you're working towards being a better person. Tomorrow, you're supposed to be a better human being than you were today. It's not about never fucking up or making mistakes. You don't walk on water. (Probably a good thing because the only story I know about a guy who could do that got crucified.)

Accountability. When you fuck up, say so. Yeah, it sucks when you have to, but...

Humility. There's a reason that "humility" and "humiliation" have two different spots in the dictionary. Incorporating one into your life while refusing the other has a place.

Being the kind of leader that, if you were a follower, you'd be willing to follow. It's a part of you, like breathing in and out.

Some of it just kind of happens because you are you. How do you feel to be you? Most folks (those worth listening to, anyway) don't just wake up one day and *decide* they are a Master, or a slave, an artist, or pilot, or anything else.

Those were bad answers. (I told ya I suck at this, sometimes.)

What does it feel like?

It feels like waking up in the morning. Breathing in and out. My heart in my chest. Being a part of that fabric called leather. Knowing who I am without having to think about it.

It feels like me.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to louisboy)

Post #: 20

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