quote:

ORIGINAL: Verbivore

I mean, there's not many ways to say "stop rushing towards my naughty bits like it's a race" LOL.

Sure there is. Tease & denial, delay your partner's sexual gratification, and you're in the ideal position to implement and enforce this because you're the Dominant.

I was also going to ask you whether you're bisexual, but I can see from your couple's profile that you both are.

Penetrative sex might not be what gets you into an orgasmic headspace. Some women can't come from receiving oral, or from direct clitoral stimulation either.
Some women have multiple sweet spots, others may have just one located in an obscure place on/in their body which has to get stimulated or focused upon. (I have no doubt there are always multiple areas, as yet undiscovered terrain. )

Then, the other consideration might be, if you're intent on reaching orgasm during intercourse, is that the men you've had as sex partners couldn't. . . um, were less than adequate in the bedroom as lovers.

This isn't just with sub men, it's with a lot of men. But Greta's right about the submissive men she's encountered. Ime, there are more submissive men out there than in any other male demographic who don't know how to properly fvck a woman. Or who think they shouldn't have to, that effusive offers of tongue action should be enough <snort>, especially those who have problems getting it up and keeping it up.

There are even male "subs" (and Dommes, as well) who think that ordinary m-f sexual interactions are viewed as submissive acts on the part of a Dominant woman , as if THIS were kinky/taboo off-limits sex to them. Wtf. They can only get turned on by fetishizing and sexually objectifying a Domme. I've had male subs act as if it were a huge sacrifice they had to make to have (non-oral, non-rimming) *conventional* sex with their previous Mistresses, as if this were proof of what they had to endure as a submissive. <guffaw>

quote:

ORIGINAL: Verbivore

I have dated men from all over the spectrum and yes, pretty much all of them were very boring or selfish lovers. Women weren't always better, though the problems there were the "pillow princesses" who were basically the definition of sexually selfish. Sometimes (with the guys) I felt it was kind of intentional, in a "well I'm satisfied with the sex and if you're not then you're just frigid" sort of way, other times they have tried but are battling their own hormones and conditioning. For a long time I thought it would be easier to get my needs met as a dominant and it's turned out to be patently untrue. I'm still battling the same issues that I had with the one Dom I tried dating as well as all the vanilla guys. The current bf isn't a sub (he's more a vanilla bottom, but there's no option for that selection) but I have dated many subby men over the past 6ish years and the same problems crop up 1) sex (including foreplay) lasts a couple hours to begin with, getting shorter and shorter as time goes on, no matter my protests, requests or even demands 2) any touching of me at all leads to the guy getting turned on and wanting sex, so I just stop wanting to be touched 3) communication inside the bedroom fizzles, as I'm very soft spoken and am never heard in the heat of the moment unless I'm basically yelling (and it turns out even the self proclaimed submissive men don't actually like being forcefully told what to do in bed).

I'm sure some people will think I just need to get more dominant and demand what I want/need, but I can promise you I've tried that, with every relationship or sexual partner I've had over the past decade and it's only worked for me once. Despite all the protestations I've heard to the contrary, very few men in this world are really ready and willing to actually listen to what I'm saying and then do the work to make changes in their behaviour. I've tried punishments, rewards, bargaining, compromising, conversation, non-verbal cues, writing letters, pointing out bits of erotica or porn I find enticing, etc. I'm pretty much just at the point where I feel my only option is to simply tie my partner down every time, do whatever I want to them at my own pace and then use them like a sex toy when I'm ready for it. But at least that's not a terrible option